All I Want Is For You To Want Me
by rznbloodrose
Summary: Justin is 22, just graduated from PIFA and the first job he gets is Brian Kinney's assistant.    Beta  chapter 1-9 : britinmanor  Beta  Chapter 10 - 26 : JustBeAQueen
1. Chapter 1

**All I Want Is For You To Want Me**

**Chapter 1**

The first time Justin laid his eyes on Brian Kinney, he fell in love. It wasn't the kind that shakes you, or makes you a living example for all those sappy love songs. But, he just knew that Brian was his destiny, and no matter what, he always found a way to get what he wanted.

He started working at Kinnetik right after college where he had gotten a degree in art, at PIFA. He applied for a job at Kinnetik to work in the art department, but the only job available was a Personal Assistant position for none other the the owner, Brian Kinney, himself. So he took it, and planned to go from there.

**Justin P.O.V.**

Brian Kinney was a man who had it all: He was successful, smart, hot as hell, and could have anyone he wanted. As my boss, and his personal assistant, my job required me to work both in and out of the office for him.

My daily routine begins by waking up at 6 am:

_Coffee_

_Shower_

_Clothes_

_Diner (breakfast),_ and then on to Kinnetik. His majesty required for me to arrive at 7 am: prepare coffee, organize his desk, and plan his meetings for the day. On the days after he pulls an all-nighter, he requires a change of clothes, COFFEE and breakfast. I have a key to his loft - which, by the way, is absolutely perfect. The amount of light he gets from his windows, is like a wet dream for me.

This morning, however, I must have pissed-off someone _or _done something horrible in my past life, which I was being punished for. It ranked right up there as one of the worst days of my life.

I woke up late - so I missed the bus and _didn't_ get breakfast - which was causing my stomach to growl like a caged beast. Worse yet, I forgot that Mr. Kinney slept at the office. I breeze in - thanking God that I'm not late - and I started preparing my schedule for the day in my head.

It was then that I saw him. He was lying on his leather sofa, his left arm covering his eyes, his hair disheveled, his shirt opened - so that you could see his white wifebeater - and his left leg is on the floor. I'm struck with how beautiful this scene is. Of course, too late may I add, I realized I forgot to stop and get his required items. I start saying a silent prayer that my friend Andrew, from accounting, is here already so I can borrow his car; envisioning myself breaking every traffic rule that exists to get to the loft and get back before he wakes up. I silently turn around, planning on sneaking back out of his office, in order to hurry and get to his loft.

Before I could even take a step, he spoke. "You forgot, didn't you?"

I jumped, and with a rapidly beating heart, I turn to look at him. His eyes are squinted open; I have a vision of me dead, strangled on the ground at his feet, with him giving me - _the evil eye_.

I had the decency to blush. "I... ah... yeah." Sometimes I wonder why I even reply if all my verbal skills are lowered to an imbecile level.

He glared at me, but then he saw how frightened I was of him. I'm not sure why, but his features softened, a bit. Maybe, because it was only my second week, or maybe, because of how pitiful I looked.

"The keys to my car are on the desk. Bring me my Grey suit, red silk shirt and a matching red tie, and all the other things you were supposed to do... and don't make this a habit!" Before I registered what he said, he was in the bathroom taking a shower and I was running like a mad man trying not to kill myself in the process.

**Three months later...**

Today is such a lovely day for Justin. He didn't forget anything important, he didn't spill coffee on his clothes, and he also managed to arrive early to the office. But, as always, something had to go wrong. It materialized by one Mr. John Reid. He is an openly gay client who flirts with any moving body: gay, straight or undecided.

At 8 am he met Andrew for coffee at the staff cafeteria, before he went to get Mr Kinney's coffee... Of course, Mr High and Mighty, can't drink the watered down coffee at the cafeteria.

"So, what happened to you last night?" asked Andrew.

"Nothing. I just got bored and left early," I said, ignoring the knowing look he was getting. "I have to go to Starbucks... care to join me?"

"Only if you admit that you left last night because, _you know who was there."_

"Don't be ridiculous! Why would I leave just because my boss - who happens to own the club - is there fucking his way through gay Pittsburgh?" He couldn't help the way his voice sounded: all jealous and bitter.

"I have to go," I said quickly, and turned and left in a hurry... unfortunately, not missing Andrew's knowing smirk, or his look of complete pity. I wish someone could explain to me what to do when you are in love with your boss - who can have anyone he wants - and doesn't want anything to do with you, except for your typing and organizing skills?

Returning from Starbucks, he went to Brian's office, sat the coffee on the desk, and started sorting the ad boards. He looked at one of the boards and couldn't help himself... he thought the font color was wrong and didn't go too well with the background, so he changed it to see how it would look. He planned to return it to its original color, but before he did, the phone rang and John Reid was on the phone; he wanted to talk to Brian (not Mr. Kinney... no, no, because then it would be too difficult.) Justin told him that Mr Kinney hadn't arrived yet, but just as soon as he did, he would have him call him back. Justin planned to accidentally forget to tell him about the call until much later in the day. Sometimes, Justin loved to be evil; he would do that evil laugh inside his head, but then he remembered how that creeps him out, and he stopped.

He feels his arrival before he sees him. It's something in the air how all the surroundings change once Brian Kinney steps in the building. Everyone stops talking and just looks at this god, who is so powerful and alluring, he just attracts you to him and demands your attention.

"Justin, may I have my schedule for the day? And please, do something about the air freshener in here. It's disgusting!"

Justin looks at him puzzled, and then says, "It's rose scented."

"Exactly." Then he gives him the look that says, _'Why are you still standing here?'_

Justin hurries to do what he was asked, muttering all the way about selfish assholes and how they don't appreciate what he does.

At lunch, Andrew came and asked him what he wanted to eat, but, at the same exact moment, Brian exits _his_ office to go to lunch. Justin couldn't help but notice the glare Mr. Kinney sent Andrew's way, then proceeded to ignore the two of them. It was really quite strange, because he usually nods or says something before he leaves for lunch. Justin stores that look Brian gave Andrew, in order to sketch it later.

On those extremely rare occasions where Brian knows Justin can't go (like now), he'll usually ask him what he wants for lunch, and then continuously makes endless comments regarding how much fat is in whatever he orders. None-the-less, he brings him what he asks for, plus lemon bars that he insists Deb forced him to bring for Justin; because poor Sunshine will surely starve without them. (Justin met her on one of her visits to the office and she adored him; proceeding in nicknaming him, Sunshine.) Justin grins and says thank you, thinking how proud his mother would be for using the good manners that she taught him.

"Sorry Andrew, I can't go right now. I still have to finish sending the emails the boss requested." Andrew heaves a big sigh and says his goodbye.

After finishing his work, Justin looks at the clock... 1:30; too late to go now. He hunts in his drawers for anything edible, and finds a Snickers bar. After finishing it, he still feels hungry. And then, he smells the unmistakable smell of greasy diner food. Brian waltzes in, food bag in one hand and a cigarette in the other. He hands the food to Justin with, "This is from Deb," and then goes to his office.

Justin can't help the silly grin that is plastered on his face throughout the day, until he remembers what he _accidentally forgot _and goes to inform Brian of the call.

He knocks and hears, "Come in." He enters the office and spots Brian hunched over his desk looking at the boards from this morning and Justin starts panicking, screaming in his head, "Noooooo..."

"Care to explain what happened to the boards?"

"Would you believe me if I said the elves did it?"

"No," and Justin notices that there isn't any anger in Brian's voice, just a hint of amusement.

"Okay. I did it. But, I was going to change it right back, but then got distracted with phone calls; speaking of which, John Reid called."

"And when did he call?"

"Ah... this morning."

"Did he say what he wanted?"

"No, he just asked for you to call him back."

He could see some annoyance appearing on Brian's face and took endless pleasure from knowing he wasn't the only one who couldn't stand the man, although, they looked cozy the last time the man was here for a meeting. _Don't go there, _Justin's mind screamed at him. He stopped and killed the memory before it resurfaced, as last time it took him a week to get rid of it.

"You can go now." Justin turned to leave to office, and then heard, "Oh, by-the-way... the boards look better with the changes you made. Thank you."

Justin smiled his sunshine smile and quickly exited the office, not realizing how breathless Brian became every time he was subjected to that smile.


	2. Chapter 2

**All I Want Is For You To Want Me**

**Chapter 2**

The first time Justin met Michael was a few days after he started working at Kinnetik. Never meeting him before, he greeted Michael with a warm smile and said, "Mr. Kinney is in a meeting that will end shortly."

The man gave him a funny look, and then as if in some cartoon-type-world, Justin could swear he heard wheels spinning in the man's head. He glared at Justin and sat fuming, waiting for Brian to finish the meeting.

As soon as the client left, Michael stormed into Brian's office, surprising Justin, as he had just picked up the phone to announce his arrival. Then he heard Mr. Kinney telling him, _Hold my calls until your told otherwise_. Moments later, Justin realized Brian had forgotten to turn off the intercom, giving Justin a front row seat to the _Brian and Mikey Show. _

"_Are you fucking him?__"_ Michael hissed.

Brian's irritated response was, _"N__one of your fucking business." _

After five minutes of them bickering to the same song and dance, Justin began to get bored. When Michael's voice took on a remarkable softness to it, it made Justin want to start making gagging noises, until he remembered that the intercom went both ways. He resumed listening again, realizing the conversation was starting to become interesting.

"_Brian, remember what happened the last time you fucked someone you worked with?"_ Justin wanted to hit him for not elaborating, as_ finally_, it was something he could work with!

"_Look, it'__s not gonna happen again! I__'__m not that much of an idiot. Besides Mikey, I__'__m a big boy. Christ, I can take care of myself. Now, why are you here?"_

"_Oh, right! Can'__t believe I almost forgot. I got us VIP passes to the comic convention next week!"_

That was the exact moment Justin lost all respect he might ever have had for _'__Mikey__'_. He decided now was a good time to walk out of the office to go get coffee for Brian. Plus, he _so-did-not _want to get caught listening in on their conversation, leaving them to their whatever-the-fuck weird relationship they had. _I mean, come on! Someone like Brian Kinney could __**not**__ be into Comic Books! _He felt himself sort-of smirk when he heard a faint sound of protest coming from Brian after Mikey's thrilling news.

After a while, Justin and Michael fell into a routine of Michael whining through the phone that he needed to speak to Brian, _Right now, _and him telling the idiot, _"Sorry, Mr. Kinney is in a meeting right now. Could you please leave a message and he'__ll call you shortly."_ The whole conversation came under Brian's strict orders, of course.

"Justin, could you come here, please?"

"Yes, Mr. Kinney?"

"Justin, for the hundredth time, _Call me Brian_! Mr. Kinney, is my father."

"Okay, what did you want, Brian?" Justin smiled a little at how the name sounded, unknowing how hearing his name pass Justin's lips affected Brian.

Brian stared at him, then remembering where he was, he said, "What do you think of this board?"

Justin moved closer to the wall where the boards were hung, looking intently for a second, before saying, "It... doesn't blend in."

Brian gave him a quizzical look, so he elaborated, "The other boards go along with each other; they complement the idea as well as the artistic eye, causing this one to stand out. I understand that you wanted to make it that way, but, what they should have done was emphasize the message without disturbing the harmony and the texture that was used with the others..."

Justin realized he was babbling on and on without giving any solution to the problem, so he took a deep breath before continuing, "The background should stay the same. But, the font color and size should be changed so they give the appearance of not looking the same." He was about to turn around, when he realized that Brian was standing right behind him. He could feel his presence on his skin.

"Justin, you have a great talent. I don't understand why you are my assistant, instead of working in the art department. Half of the idiots in there wouldn't know anything about the concepts you just described to me," Brian said, not thinking about what he had just implied.

Justin just nodded. One thing he knew about Brian, was that he always spoke his mind. Justin respected him for that, along with his honesty. As he stood there, he couldn't seem to get rid of the feeling that he was being mentally undressed, or the feeling of the closeness on some of his body parts.

He immediately felt the loss of contact when Brian moved away from him. Clearing his throat, Brian said, "Thanks Justin. If they continue to fuck up in there, I'm going to have to put you on the payroll as a consultant."

Justin briefly closed his eyes, breathed deeply, then nodded as he turned and left Brian's office. He couldn't help hoping that in time he'd get rid of this feeling; that maybe it was just a silly little crush that would soon go away.

Almost immediately, Brian poked his head through the door. "Justin, would you please bring me some coffee? Oh, and again, thanks for your help." He smiled his lopsided smile that never failed to make Justin's heart melt inside.

"Yeah right... silly crush," Justin muttered, covering his face with both of his hands, as he stood to leave for Starbucks.

The longer Justin worked for Brian, they became increasingly more comfortable around each other. Justin got more used to dealing with Brian, so that he was no longer scared of him or even intimidated by him. Brian started confiding some of his worries to Justin on certain work-related aspects of the company. He even started acknowledging Justin's presence outside of work: in Woody's, nodding at him from across the room (while Michael glared at him), in the diner, where they sometimes had to sit together because there wasn't another available table.

The change in the dynamics of their relationship started when Justin finally met Debbie, and Brian's son, Gus. Justin just couldn't believe how much Gus looked like his father. Brian continually tells Justin how much his little boy just adores him - or so he says - then, asks him to watch Gus for an hour or so while he finishes his work.

Whenever Gus and Justin manage to finish off all the candy Justin has hidden, just so Brian won't start to lecture him about how bad it is or what it does to a body, Justin simply says, "I still have the perfect twink physique," although, Justin has to look away from Brian when he says it, because Brian gets this intense look in his eyes, like he wants to devour him, or_ something._

So, now, when Brian comes to get Gus and sees the boy covered in chocolate, he sends Justin a glare, tells him to clean-up his son, or his mothers will kill both of them.

"It's your fault that he's a mess anyway. How many times do I have to tell you," ... and so the lecture begins while Justin is wiping Gus' face and ignoring Brian and rolling his eyes at him.

Eventually, Brian got tired of repeating the same thing over andover. Now, he thanks Justin for watching Gus and invites him to join them for dinner, to which Justin agrees happily, and holds Gus while Brian goes to get the car, and then they're on their way, heading for the diner.


	3. Chapter 3

**All I Want is For You to Want Me**

**Chapter 3**

_The first time Justin had been to Liberty Avenue, he was 17 years old and scared shitless of everything he saw. But when he walked through the door of the Liberty Diner, he was immediately assaulted with its bright loud colors, and even louder people. He instantly loved all of it._

_He saw couples that were sitting and talking to each other - GAY couples. He could just imagine his father's reaction to all of this, and shuddered just thinking about it. He stood by the door staring at the displays of love and wished someday he could have something like that. When people started staring back at him, he quickly left, not scared... because he knew that he was coming back, but he wasn't ready; he needed a little more time to know for sure what he wanted._

::::

Now when he entered the Liberty Diner, he was with Brian and his son, Gus. Gus' right hand was clutched by Brian and his other hand was holding Justin's. Gus was screaming, "I want ice-cream." Brian just rolled his eyes, while Justin smiled at Gus and gave Brian a look that said, _'You so love him.'_ Brian looked blankly at him before telling Gus to go pick a table; he chose the last booth and climbed up on the seat. When Brian went to sit next to him, he protested in all his four year old glory, "I'm a big boy; I don't need my daddy to sit with me." Brian looked hurt for a second, but Gus told him to bend down, and kissed him on the cheek, reminding him again that he was, "A big boy." Justin sat next to Gus and mouthed to Brian that he'd watch him. Brian acknowledged him with a nod.

Justin and Gus started to plan what they are going to eat. Brian watched both of them, and couldn't help the smile that appeared looking at the scene in front of him.

Five minutes after their arrival, the gang started to show up. First it was Emmet, who gushed at how cute Gus was. Then he hugged Justin, just to prove that Brian had some sort of feelings towards the blond. He had often caught him staring at the blond when they are at Woody's, and the glare Brian sent his way was enough evidence.

After Emmet, Ted came in, who said, "Hello", and reminded Brian of the papers he left on his desk that, _"Really need your approval," _and went to sit with Emmet.

Gus started talking about this girl in school who was rude and always wanted to play with him, but Gus wanted to play with his friend Tom, who is funny and awesome; which caused Brian to look so smug that Gus hopefully will grow up to be a cock sucker just like his dada, but Justin quickly said, "It doesn't prove anything."

They changed the subject of conversation several times, finally settling on cartoons, and what was their favorites. Justin told Gus he liked the Powerpuff Girls, Gus happily agreed that it sure was a good one. When he started talking about his favorite one, Justin gave Gus his utmost attention, like he was listening to the most fascinating thing ever. "I mean it's the bestest, Jus, you have to see it!" Justin of course promised and Brian couldn't help but like him a little more for that.

Mikey walked into the diner with David right behind him. He made a beeline to their table first, pinching Gus' cheek while saying, "Hello Gusty" in a baby voice that made both Justin and Brian cringe. Gus got a little indignant exclaiming, "I'm not a baby!" Michael frowned and turned to greet Brian with a kiss on the lips that earned Brian a glare from David, and made Justin want to hurl all the candy he had eaten earlier.

"Why are you sitting here? Come join us at our regular table."

"Can't do Mikey. Gus wants to sit here, but go on, don't leave the doc waiting." Michael wanted to protest further, and if he wasn't making it a point to ignore Justin, he would have glared at him. So, without any protesting what so ever, he walked over to join the others. Brian was stunned for a minute by that, but shrugged it off that Mikey was finally growing up.

The waitress came over to take their orders. "What will it be boys?"

"I want pancakes!" Gus yelled.

Justin tried to stifle a laugh unsuccessfully, when he saw Brian's pained expression, so he tried to reason with Gus, "How about we order cheeseburgers and a strawberry milkshake, instead? They don't make pancakes for dinner, Gus."

Gus looked disappointed for a second so Justin said, "We could get ice cream after dinner." Brian glared at him, not saying anything, even when Gus perked up at that and said, "Okay!" with an enthusiasm only a kid could muster.

Brian ordered a salad, which made Justin snort, but, he shut up and didn't comment on it after earning a murderous look from Brian.

They ate with Gus chattering in the background making all the right sounds of agreement at whatever he was saying. After finishing they ordered a big ice cream bowl with different flavors because Gus (and Justin) couldn't decide what they wanted.

Justin and Gus attacked the ice cream as soon as it arrived. Brian took a few bites but stopped to watch Justin eating the ice cream, completely mesmerized by how his pink tongue sneaked out to taste it, before shoving it all the way into his mouth; his lips turning to a deep red, and moaning after each bite, like it was the best thing he ever had. The noises he made got Brian hard, and he quickly stood and excused himself to go to the bathroom; Michael right on his heel.

He entered the bathroom, and went to wash his hands. The bathroom door opened and in walked Michael with a look on his face that said, _'I'm gonna say something you're not gonna like, and you can't stop me!'_

"Brian, what are you doing? You can't continue seeing him outside of work. What kind of a boss are you? He's your employee, and now he's gonna think that you're friends and he can do whatever he wants."

"Relax Mikey, it's not what you think. He's actually good at what he does. Gus happens to really like him. He helps me with Gus sometimes, so what's the big deal? Ted works for me and he's a friend. You don't see him walking all over me at work, do you?"

"Well that's different!" Sometimes Mikey couldn't believe how blind Brian could be. Why couldn't he see how dangerous the blond was, but, Mikey could see it, because he thinks he knows everything!

"Whatever, look I don't have much time. I need to drive Gus to the munchers. Bye Mikey."

When Brian returned he found an empty bowel of ice cream and a happy Gus bouncing on his seat demanding more. Brian looked pointedly at Justin, who in turn, reasoned with Gus that they should wait until next time.

"When I get him to his mothers, I'm blaming you," Brian told Justin.

They stopped to say goodbye to the gang before going to the car. Gus ran ahead of them on a sugar high, thinking he was invincible. Justin went chasing after Gus, while Brian smirked at the scene. Brian felt something tug at his heart, admitting to himself that the picture they made was quite adorable.

::::

The next day at work was uneventful. At lunch, Andrew came to invite Justin to Woody's that evening. Justin called Daphne to see if she was free to join them, only to find she had plans with her boyfriend and couldn't make it. Justin told Andrew he'd be there around nine. It was quiet, so, they left, and went out to lunch.

Later that day, Brian called Justin to his office to tell him that there was an event the company was invited to, and to notify everybody in the office and find out who would be free to attend.

"Are you free?" Justin looked startled, before blushing, kicking himself for thinking he was being asked out.

"Sure. I'll be there."

"Good," Brian says, with a hint of a smile, that made Justin want to kiss him so badly, it hurt.

"Is there anything else you want?"

"No, that's all. You can go now."

Just before Brian left work, Justin entered his office with a wrapped parcel, that looked suspiciously like a picture, and his doubts were confirmed when Justin said, "I promised Gus to draw his favorite cartoon character. Could you please give it to him?"

"You didn't have to do that." Brian's annoyed at how mushy he feels every time he sees evidence of how well Gus and Justin get along; he attributes it to the joys of fatherhood.

"I wanted to do it, I like Gus," and then he smiles. Brian groaned inwardly at how beautiful he looked, quickly averting his gaze, realizing he didn't want to be caught staring again.

At nine pm, Justin arrived at Woody's. He ordered a drink while waiting for Andrew to arrive. Half an hour later, he'd been cruised a dozen times, every time saying, "Not interested."

The guys continue trying, but only one of them started to get obnoxious. He propositioned Justin three times and kept brushing against him while whispering, what was by far, the most disgusting dirty talk he'd ever heard in his ear.

The guy wasn't a troll, but he wasn't Justin's type either. He knew his name was Brandon, and thought by the way he acted, he apparently thought he was the best thing Liberty Avenue had ever seen. Justin immediately thought, "News flash: _Brian Kinney is the best thing Liberty Avenue has ever seen", _and hated himself for thinking that.

An hour had passed when he got a call from Andrew. "Justin! I'm so sorry, but I can't make it..." Apparently, Andrew's fuck buddy, from out of town, arrived today and they hooked up.

Justin was about to leave, when Brandon sat down next to him. Justin rolled his eyes, and was ready to snap at the guy, when he feels an arm wrap around his shoulder. A voice says, "Can't you see he's not interested, or does he have to spell it out for you?"

Justin turns to look at Brian, giving him a small smile, silently thanking him. Brandon glares at both of them, before turning and storming out.

"Want to join us?"

"Sure."

Justin sees the gang standing around a pool table and all he can think is, _'SHIT!'_


	4. Chapter 4

**All I Want is For You to Want Me**

**Chapter 4**

_The first time Justin had been to Woody's he was nineteen years old. He had a fake ID; a friend from school hooked him up with the right contacts, and he was excited with the prospect of drinking, hot guys, and more drinking!_

_They got to the bar, him and two other classmates: a short guy with black hair, blue eyes and fair skin, named Kyle, and the other one, a tall blond, with brown eyes and tanned skin, named Richard. Justin suspected they had the hots for each other, but, were too chickenshit to do anything about it._

_They all ordered drinks. The first thing Justin ordered was a Jim Beam, thinking that he was so cool, and drinking it in one go. He coughed and sputtered and made an idiot out of himself. Then he tried vodka, which was as strong as the previous drink, but he liked it better. Then he tried tequila. He spent all night drinking and flirting with cute guys, who would buy him drinks thinking they had a chance to take him home with them._

_At one point there was a guy who got a little too rough with him. The guy tried to drag him outside. Justin was so intoxicated that he would have been dragged easily. They told him all about it later - when he regained consciousness._

_Kyle said, "This big guy came on to you. He started whispering in your ear. I didn't hear what he said, but it made you laugh so hard, you were bordering on hysterical. The guy got mad and started shouting at you." He imitated the guy's voice, "You little bitch, what are you laughing at?"_

_Richard jumped in and started talking, interrupting Kyle, who gave him a glare, but then started nodding enthusiastically when Richard said, "He started pulling you off your seat and you started screaming for him to let you go. Then this dude came over to interfere - he was smoking hot by the way. I'd so do him..." Richard got a far away look in his eyes remembering the guy._

_So, Kyle starts describing the guy, and Justin realized they were still drunk, from the way they both talked so animatedly. "He was tall, with chestnut hair, beautiful hazel eyes, and a lean, toned body." _

_Justin just gave him a look that said, 'What the fuck are you talking about?' _

_Kyle continued, "So the hottie pushed the other guy away from you and told him with this deep powerful voice, "What the fuck do think you're doing?" The other guy said, "This is none of your business," to which the hottie's reply was to punch him. The guy staggered from the blow and almost fell if it wasn't for a nearby table. He quickly exited the bar and you passed out. If it wasn't for the hottie catching you and carrying you out, you would have hit the floor. We followed him outside and he told us to go get a cab. When the cab arrived, he put you in the backseat and told us if you didn't wake up soon, to get you immediately to the hospital, but, an hour later - here you are!"_

_Justin looked at them miserably, and groaned from embarrassment._

:::::

Justin looked up at Brian, then over at the others, several times, before he moved to join them. He knew this would happen to him eventually. He arrived at the pool table and said hello to Ted and Emmet. He thanked god Michael wasn't there - _YET_.

"Hey Justin, want to join us? Make it two teams against each other. You and me against those losers?" asked Brian, which earned him a "HEY!" from both Ted and Emmet.

"No that's fine, I'll just watch for awhile."

It was the way Justin said it, that made Brian look at him closely, sensing something wasn't quite right. He thought maybe he was still upset from his encounter with Brandon.

They began a new game with Justin watching them from where he was sitting on a bar stool. Brian of course won, and Justin congratulated him on his win. Ted and Emmet went to get a new round of drinks, since they lost.

Brian sat next to him, looking closely at his face, making Justin feel self-conscious all of a sudden. "Are you still upset because of that guy?"

"No, of course not. Why would I be?"

"Then, why don't you join us?"

_Think, think of something!_ Justin's mind screamed, but for the life of him, he couldn't find any believable excuse, so in a very quiet voice that Brian almost didn't hear, he said, "I don't know how to play pool."

Brian's eyes got wide at this, and he started laughing. Justin took that as an insult thinking he was being laughed at; he got up to leave, but before he could take the first step, Brian stopped him. Taking his hand, he turned Justin to face him. His face sobered up and there wasn't any trace of laughter. The look Justin was giving him, was enough to make him stop and reconsider how to approach the blond.

"Look, I wasn't laughing at you. I shouldn't even have laughed, because it really wasn't that funny. It was just the way you said it; I thought that something was seriously wrong. About the pool thing, if you want, I could teach you how to play." Justin looked at him startled, before blushing a bit at how he behaved. He really was a drama queen.

"Really? You would do that? That would be great!" Justin said, giving Brian his sunshine smile.

He and Brian walked to the pool table and Brian started teaching him how to play: _Starting pool 101... Understanding the basic concept and set-up of pool: _"The basic concept of shooting pool begins with a set of balls, consisting of striped and solid colors placed in a triangular rack. The balls are all numbered from 1-15. Place the number one ball, a "solid" ball, at the top of the rack and continue to place the balls in the rack with solid and striped balls. The 8 ball sits directly in the center of the rack, while a striped and a solid ball sit directly underneath the 8 ball. Once all the balls are placed in the wooden rack, gently take it off, leaving the balls still in a triangular formation.

"The importance of making a shot is taking your time and slowly following through with each shot you make. When you are about to make your shot, aim from the top of your stick to see the white ball and the ball you are shooting. It takes time to get your stroke down for the various shots on the table.

The way you hold your hand to rest your stick, is an important part of making good shots, as well as how you hold your stick. Your stick should lay gently against your right side as you are shooting. You should be forward and leaning into your shot. You need to decide how to execute a particular shot. The next step is to approach the table positioning your body and cue in alignment with the shot and the line of your aim. Determine your line of aim and set your feet to align your body correctly."

Brian started to show Justin the pool stance: "First thing that you need to do before you even prepare for your stance is to stand behind the shot and align your body relative to the shot at hand. After you stand behind the shot, your right foot should be placed in line with the shot. The left foot should be to the left of the line."

Justin was so grateful to Brian. He took him seriously and was willing to teach him even though he didn't have to. His eyes were glued to Brian, how his body would bend over the table in an elegant move, while talking directly to Justin.

"You try now," Brian said after he made a successful shot. Justin looked scared, but he couldn't refuse Brian after all the trouble he went through. Justin took the cue from Brian and was about to execute a shot when Brian stopped him. "Your grip has to be loose and relaxed. Never tighten your grip; keep it relaxed all the way through your stroke." Justin did what Brian told him.

Justin kept trying, and Brian would correct whatever error he did. At some point Justin got very frustrated that not one shot went in the pocket. He was ready to quit.

Brian moved behind him. He grabbed his right hand, the one holding the cue, and positioned himself against Justin, and steered Justin so he had the right stance. They were bent together over the table, Brian's mouth next to Justin's ear, whispering the instructions. Justin face flushed with pleasure.

After positioning Justin the right way, he moved quickly away from him after whispering, "Take the shot." Brian knew he couldn't stay close to Justin, or he wouldn't be able to control himself - and that was _NOT _on top of his list of things to do.

Justin took the shot and it went straight in the hole. He was so excited that he hugged Brian and kissed him on the cheek, realizing too late what he did. He tried to apologize, but Brian stopped him from saying anything. "You don't have to apologize; it's nothing," trying to make light of what happened. He smiled at Justin and told him to make another shot.

Brian finally noticed that everyone in the place was staring at them. Of course, half the guys were staring at Justin's ass while he was bent over the table, so he moved to block their view, by moving behind Justin, and correcting him if need be.

Ted and Emmet watched the whole thing in fascination. Brian's behavior was so weird. He was treating Justin so differently than what they were used to seeing from him. You could say he was almost gentle with the blond. They watched as Brian and Justin were bent over the table, making everyone salivate at the sight of them. They hadn't seen Michael come in, or the look he was sending the blond as he watched him kiss Brian. Brian didn't push him away or leave him after he finished; just stood watching the blond playing, saying encouraging words while Justin missed half the shots.

After getting tired of playing pool, they joined the guys at their table. Brian went to say hello to Michael, but all he got was a glare. Justin saw the exchange and prayed the man would leave him alone and stop making him feel uncomfortable with his scowls.

Justin talked to Emmet and Ted. He explained how he had never played pool, and how kind he thought Brian was to offer to teach him. Justin looked up at Brian, as he joined them at the table: sitting down next to Justin, discussing the techniques Justin must be familiar with to better his playing.

At eleven o'clock they decided to go to Babylon, but Justin declined, saying that his boss would kill him if he was late for work tomorrow, giving Brian a teasing look. Brian watched him go... wishing he had stayed. He liked the blond's company, even though their closeness was stirring up old feelings in Brian that he wasn't ready to deal with yet. And he knew he really wasn't up for anything Michael would say in regards of the blond, after he left.

At work the next day, Justin brought Brian his coffee, with his favorite low fat 'Blueberry Nut-Oat Bran Muffin', as a thank you for what he did the night before.


	5. Chapter 5

**All I Want Is For You To Want Me**

**Chapter 5**

Justin arrived at work early like every day. He looked at the work plan for today; he saw that John Reid was scheduled for a meeting today and groaned inwardly. This man always had to show up at the worst times - well, there really wasn't any_ good _time for him to show up. He just hoped the man couldn't make it to the meeting this time and send someone else in his place.

He went to the cafeteria to see Andrew. He found him sitting at one of the tables, coffee mug in hand, sunglasses on and looking straight ahead. Justin sat in the seat opposite of him. He waited to be acknowledged, but when five minutes had passed and nothing happened, he called, "Andrew?"

After not getting a response for the third time, he tried to shake him. Justin got worried and called his name louder and then slapped him.

"AWWWW... what did you do that for?" Andrew moved away from him, touching his cheek where Justin hit him.

"I tried to get a response from you, but you didn't move. I thought there was something wrong with you!" Justin glared at Andrew and moved to sit back.

"So... what happened to you last night? I waited for you for an hour, and _then_ you remember to call! I had to sit there all by myself getting hit on by every guy in the place!"

"Sorry man, but you know how it is. I was ready to leave the apartment when Rick showed up at my door; we fucked on the floor with the door open," Andrew said, with a sly smile.

"Ewww... your poor neighbors. That must have been traumatizing to whoever had been unfortunate enough to see the both of you," Justin said, scrunching up his face.

Andrew just flipped him off. He took off his sunglasses and rubbed his eyes before looking up; Justin looked at him wide-eyed.

"What the_ fuck _happened to you?" Andrew's eyes were swollen and there were dark bruises surrounding them.

Andrew actually looked embarrassed. "Funny thing happened," he chuckled, before continuing. "He was chasing me across the apartment, we were playing rough..."

"Don't tell me_ he _did this to you!" Justin said in disbelief.

"No, actually_ I _did this to myself. As I was saying, we were running across the apartment, when I turned my head to look back, and I slammed right into the open door."

"The door you left open while you two fucked?" At Andrew's nod, Justin shook his head again in disbelief.

"You two are the most fucked-up fuckers I have the displeasure of knowing."

"You're just jealous, because you're not getting any."

"Yeah, right. You know yourself, I could get any guy I want," Justin bragged.

"So, why don't you?" Andrew asked, already knowing the answer.

"Because I don't want to," _among other reasons, _Justin added in his head.

"So what did you do last night?"

"It was so great! I know you could never guess what I did last night? I played pool!" Andrew was sipping his coffee when Justin told him that; he choked on his coffee, and spit it on the table. Justin wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"You? And I actually missed seeing you make an idiot out of yourself?" he queried, and then started laughing.

"Guess who taught me how to play?" Justin said, with a big smile on his face that made Andrew suspicious.

"Who?"

"Mr. Kinney!"

Andrew's face registered shock upon hearing that. He started thinking of all the things he'd heard about Brian Kinney since he'd started working here, long before Justin came along. He had to admit that something didn't sound quite right; Mr. Kinney is ruthless, demanding and a control freak. He had expected Justin to last one day. But, he's been working here for four months and he never has anything other than praise for Mr. Kinney: how wonderful he is, how brilliant the man's work is. He knew that Justin had a major crush on the man, but, he figured that would go away after discovering who he really was - the stud of Liberty Avenue. Nothing more than a slut who sleeps with anyone he wants, never having anything more to do with them. His philosophy - no repeats.

"Justin, have I ever told you how you got your job?" Justin looked at him like that was the dumbest thing he ever heard and shook his head.

"Do you know how many assistants Mr. Kinney had before you?" Justin shook his head, glancing at the clock.

"Oh shit! I have to go; we'll continue this later, okay?" Andrew nodded, then sighed, as he watched Justin run to get the damn coffee for Mr. Kinney. Something wasn't quite right and he had a feeling what that reason just might be.

On his way to get the coffee, Justin passed by a gourmet bakery. He remembered Brian ordering from it once when they had a client to entertain. He also remembered specifically what Brian had ordered for himself. He quickly ordered, then left to get the coffee.

When he returned to the office, he sat the coffee and the muffin on Brian's desk, (attaching a note to it, that said 'eat me'). He took out the files needed for today's meetings and organized them according to urgency, also displaying them on the desk.

He sat behind his desk outside of Brian's office nibbling on his 'Chocolate Chip Banana' muffin and licking his lips and fingers after each bite.

Brian arrived to the office to the sight of Justin licking his fingers, no doubt from a heart-attack inducing treat. Momentarily forgetting himself, he stared at him, picturing a better use for those lips. God, how he remembered the feel of those lips.

He greeted Justin and went quickly to his office before any emotion escaped from his face. He sat at his desk remembering those special moments he had more than four years ago, before everything turned to nothing and he lost someone he never had.

::::

Justin entered his office, smiling at him. He told Brian this story he heard from Daphne about the new guy down at maintenance where she worked that was caught fucking his boyfriend, by the janitor, who nearly had a stroke thinking that there was a bear in the closet from all the noises and how he called the fire department by mistake instead of the animal control center. When they opened the door the guy getting fucked climaxed and shot on him. Justin laughed after he finished, causing Brian to smile sadly at him.

"What meetings do I have today?"

"First you have a meeting with the art director. Then you are scheduled for a launch meeting over at the new restaurant that we are doing a campaign for, to talk to the owner and get an inside look at what the ad should include..."

"Come with me."

"Huh?"

"I have to sample as many items on their menu as I can, so I can determine what their best items are to advertise. You can help me with the tasting - I've seen what you can eat_ and _how much. I say it's a win-win situation, so, what do you say?" Justin really wanted to be upset from how he was described, but he couldn't; it was the truth after all.

"Okay."

"So what else do I have?"

"You have a meeting with John Reid at three pm."

"What is the meeting about?"

"He didn't explain; he just said he had an important issue to discuss with you," Justin said, shrugging.

"Okay... I'm going to work until the first meeting, hold all phone calls except emergencies, and by that I mean - death. Got it?"

"Sure!" Justin smiled at him. A beautiful, gorgeous smile. Brian wanted to be pissed off at that, but he couldn't. Justin's smiles, (as cheesy as it may sound) were what made his day worthwhile, because that's all he can ever have of this man... that's all he'll everallow himself to have of this man.

**TBC**


	6. Chapter 6

**All I Want is For You To Want Me**

**Chapter 6**

_The first time Brian met Justin, he was 25 years old. He was walking out of Babylon when he spotted this kid that could not be more than 16. Justin looked so beautiful; Brian wanted him and nothing was going to stop him! _

_Justin was leaning against a street lamp, smoking a cigarette and wondering what the hell he was thinking when he decided to come here; he hadn't met anyone who made him want to lose his virginity. Justin looked at the club entrance and that's when he spotted him... and all he could think was, 'That's the Face of God'._

_Brian approached Justin... he looked deep into his eyes. He wanted to say some smart comment, but all he could make himself say was, "Want to get out of here and come home with me?"_

_Justin couldn't believe his luck; this man - this gorgeous god - wanted him! He nodded his consent and followed the guy to his car._

_Brian's friends saw him walk up to this kid and figured it would take 15 minutes for him to get a blow job. Then they heard the sound of his car starting. They cursed Brian as they turned around to see the back of his jeep moving away from them. They were once again left to catch a ride with Ted; Michael pouting and whining all the way home about how he was supposed to get a ride home with Brian._

_:::::_

_They rode in silence until Justin initiated the conversation, "My name's Justin, what's yours?"_

_They were at a red light so Brian moved closer to Justin, whispering "Brian" in his ear, before kissing him lightly. Justin couldn't believe how good the kiss felt, and he stared at Brian's face when they pulled apart. Brian's face was still close to his, both now staring into each other eyes, until Justin leaned forward for another kiss. Brian started to reiterate the kiss and didn't want to pull away, but, he had to when the cars behind them started honking, letting him know the light had changed color._

_When they arrived at the loft, Brian parked the car, went to the passenger side and opened the door for Justin. He unlocked the seat belt, leaned over and kissed Justin. They continued kissing as Justin sat in the car with Brian leaning in. After a while Brian pulled away from Justin and gestured for him to get out of the car; he locked it and they headed for the loft. When they were in the elevator, Brian moved towards Justin, only this time attacking his lips, demanding an entry and gaining it. They continued to kiss even after the elevator stopped moving_

"_Brian, I think we should go inside," Justin whispered in a hushed voice, not wanting to disturb the peacefulness of this moment. Brian nodded, and moved to lift the elevator gate motioning for Justin to lead the way._

_That night Brian made love to Justin; he taught and showed him everything about sex. After they finished their fifth round, Brian pulled Justin to his chest, buried his face in the soft locks of Justin's hair, and slept._

_Brian awoke to the wonderful feeling of someone sucking his dick. He moaned, and opened his eyes to meet bright blue ones. He stared at the sight before him and didn't think he had ever saw anything more beautiful. After climaxing, he pulled Justin to him, kissing him and tasting himself, mingled with the blond's own unique taste._

"_How old are you, again?" Justin looked embarrassed by that, thinking Brian would be mad if he knew his real age. He didn't meet Brian's eyes, scared to see his reaction, when he whispered, "Eighteen."_

"_And this is your fist time, right?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Well, good thing I was around so I could provide you with my expertise," Brian teased, earning him a full-blown sunshine smile._

_Brian pulled Justin towards the bathroom to take a shower with him, providing a very good reason, "Think how much water we can conserve!" Justin just laughed and raced him to the bathroom._

_After another round of sex in the shower, they emerged wrapped in towels. Justin went to the kitchen to hunt for food, while Brian dressed in a pair of worn jeans and a wife beater._

_Brian stood on the stairs between the kitchen and bedroom, staring at Justin, who was standing in the kitchen in all his naked glory, opening cabinets and not finding anything he could eat. Brian grinned at the look of pure frustration on Justin's face. He was amazed at how the kid was so at ease in the loft, even though he had never been there before._

_He walked up behind Justin who was currently going through the upper cupboards. He held Justin's hands in his and purred in his ear, "What are you looking for?"_

"_Food," Justin said with a grimace._

"_There isn't any." Justin turned to face him looking like a little kid who was just told Santa doesn't exist._

_Grinning at the look Justin was giving him, Brian said, "We could order whatever you want to eat." Justin smiled his thanks._

_::::_

"_Aren't your parents worried about you?"_

"_They're out of town and won't be home until Monday," Justin said, between huge bites of his pizza. They had opted for lunch instead of breakfast as it was 12 o'clock noon. _

"_Got plans for the weekend?" Brian gestured around the loft, asking silently if he wanted to spend the weekend with him. He couldn't figure out what it was, but it was as if something was making him unable to let Justin go. This kid made him smile, laugh, and feel a lot of emotions he was unaccustomed to. _

"_Really?" Justin lunged himself on Brian, kissing him and initiating another round of sex - the pizza all but forgotten. _

_All weekend, they just stayed at the loft: fucking, eating, and more fucking. Brian kept dodging and ignoring all calls; especially the ones from his friends - the messages continually asking him where he was and why wasn't he coming to Babylon._

_:::: _

_Monday morning arrived faster than either of them wanted to admit. They woke up early and showered together - Justin getting his morning protein shake - then dressed. _

_Brian drove Justin home, and upon arriving, Brian said, "Go get dressed for school; I'll wait for you here." _

_Justin moved fast and was back in the jeep before 15 minutes had passed, immediately asking Brian, "When can I see you again?"_

"_You can see me now."_

"_I mean later. Brian please look at me; I'm not asking anything you're not able to give me. I know you told me you don't do boyfriends... neither do I. I'm too young for that, but, could I see you again? Just think, you could teach me more amazing things to do, and then I can practice on you," Justin replied, smiling impishly._

_Brian stared at him, seeing the innocence that was still apparent even after all they had done and couldn't deny that he still wanted this kid. "Okay, but this stays between us, got it?" Justin nodded, kissed Brian a deep wet kiss and quickly exited the car._

_They continued their secret relationship for two weeks. Prom night arrived, and everything forever changed for both of them. Brian felt regrets - and a great loss._

_Most of all, he lost what would have been, the love of his life._

:::::

"Brian!"

Brian snapped out of his memories to look at Justin; he was right here in front him, and yet, in reality, far away from his reach. He looked into those eyes and couldn't believe he had fallen for this beautiful man yet again. "Sorry, I was thinking of the slogan... what did you want?"

They were in the middle of the launch meeting at the new restaurant, and Justin was trying to get Brian's attention. "I wanted you to taste this; it melts in your mouth."

Justin's cell rang then, him answering saying, "Hi Andrew, I'm in a meeting right now. I'll tell you when I get back. Okay. Bye." _Well this was business_, Justin reasoned.

Brian couldn't help the immediate flare of jealousy. He didn't like Andrew, and whenever he saw Justin and Andrew together it was like something piercing his heart. He knew it was unjustified. Justin and Andrew weren't 'together', and Brian knew they were just friends, but for right now, it was so much more than Brian got to have with Justin.

"So? What do you think? It's amazing, isn't it? I asked around the restaurant and they all said this dish is only made by _this _restaurant."

"Mmmm... That's good. How about the slogan, W_here every bite takes you back. _What do you think?"

"That's great!"

"I was thinking we could show a family visiting the restaurant through the years and how they relive the good times with every visit." Justin nodded, showing his excitement for the idea.

After finalizing the ad proposal with the owner, they headed back to the office. When they arrived and parked the car, they sat in silence. Brian was looking at Justin with an intensity that Justin had never saw before.

"Thanks for your help."

Justin smiled at Brian, saying, "I really had a good time. Thanks for letting me go with you."

They sat for a few moments looking at each other. Justin felt butterflies as Brian started to move towards him. He couldn't believe it when Brian leaned in and kissed him. It was just a light brush of the lips, which amazed both of them - the intensity that they were left feeling.


	7. Chapter 7

**All I Want is for You to Want Me**

**Chapter 7**

They parted from the kiss and looked into each other eyes. Justin couldn't believe that he initiated another kiss, and soon they were making out like a couple of teenagers.

Brian's feelings took over when Justin's mouth opened and his tongue met his. Brian's body couldn't help but respond, not thinking of the repercussions. He didn't think about what he was doing, or how it would affect his relationship with this Justin.

They stayed in the car kissing with desperate need - that was until they heard footsteps approaching. Brian cursed whoever it was, and wished desperately for them to go away. He reluctantly pulled away from Justin, knowing that - _rarely_ - wishes like that were ever granted.

Justin looked around to see who was there when his eyes landed on, none other, than John Reid. He silently cursed the man for interrupting them and ruining his chance with Brian. He'd always known there was a reason he hated that man, and that hatred was rapidly intensifying.

When John arrived up to Brian's car, he gently tapped on the window. He smiled when he saw Brian rolling the window down, saying, "Hey Brian, long time no see. Did you miss me, stud?" He was so focused on Brian, that he didn't notice anyone else in the car, until he saw Justin peering around Brian. He'd often wondered if they were having an affair, but, now his doubts were confirmed. He couldn't believe Brian would really be fucking that kid!

"Hey Justin… didn't see you in there. Are you two going somewhere?"

Justin didn't look at him - afraid he'd say something which he'd later regret, or worse, his face would betray him, showing his feeling of pure hatred towards the man. He just nodded and grunted some type of reply.

Brian quickly acknowledged, "No, we just arrived. I had a business meeting and needed Justin's assistance." He hated the fact he felt the need to explain, thinking it could only make the situation worse.

"Okay then, how about you walk me to your office while we discuss the new campaign I want you to design for me?"

Brian reluctantly exited the car, motioning for Justin to follow them. The last thing he saw before he turned to walk away with John was the hurt look on Justin's face_. Some things never change,_ he thought. He liked that some things about Justin didn't change: Justin had always been so open, so obvious about his feelings. That thought made happy; he liked that he could still read Justin after all this time - it comforted him, making him feel closer to the blond - almost like they still had some sort of connection.

Justin followed them, looking at them with disgust. John was clutching Brian's arm with both of his hands while Brian didn't do anything to stop him. He felt hurt and angry. He knew he didn't have the right to feel those emotions, but from the moment Brian kissed him, all he could think is, _Your mine, _andno one could ever tell him otherwise, because what he felt in those few precious moments, was more than he'd felt in a lifetime.

When they arrived to the office, Brian and John went directly towards Brian's office, with John stopping at the doorway to turn around and tell Justin, "Don't let_ anything _interrupt us for an hour."

Justin sat at his desk fuming. _How dare that bastard talk to him like that? And Brian didn't contradict him, or even say one word to him! Well, fuck John, and fuck Brain, too. Dammit! If they think I will just sit here waiting for them to finish… _

Justin walked out of the office towards the cafeteria, feeling the sudden need for some comfort food. He searched the fridge and found a piece of chocolate cake, relief settling in. But, he had so much venom in him, that every time he stabbed the cake with the fork, he pictured John's face. In the end, all he'd managed to do, was to obliterate the cake to crumbs.

After he finished his attack on the cake, he quickly hid the evidence in the garbage can. He'd barely finished cleaning up the crime scene, when Andrew walked in. One look at Justin's face, and Andrew knew something was wrong.

"What happened?"

"What makes you think something happened?" Justin replied, averting his eyes, so Andrew couldn't see that he was on the verge of tears.

"Justin, seriously, _what's wrong?"_

"Could you _please_ change the subject; I don't_ want _to talk about it!" Andrew could hear how Justin's voice was strained and filled with emotion, so he knew better than to push him any further, so he remained quiet.

It took Justin a couple of minutes before speaking again, waiting for himself to feel he was finally in control of his emotions.

"What did you want to talk to me about earlier - you said something about how I got the job?"

"Oh yeah, right! Do you have any idea how many people Cynthia hired before you? I bet it was close to a hundred, and they all ran for their lives before a week had passed. Cynthia was getting really desperate to find Kinney an assistant to replace her after she got promoted, but, she finally gave up. She so was frustrated when the last one walked out, that she stormed into Kinney's office and slammed a pile of résumés on his desk and told him he was on his own. A week later you started working here. We were so sure that you'd never make it, so we all took bets to see how long you'd actually stay. Do you know what Cynthia's estimation was? She said that you were here to stay - that you wouldn't quit. I was so sure she knew something we didn't. It's strange; four months have passed and you're still here."

"My, my... that was a lovely story, but why are you telling me this now?" Justin asked sarcastically. He was confused as to why Andrew would even tell him something like this.

"Look, I know you have a crush on Mr. Kinney."

Justin was ready to protest, but Andrew held up his hand up to stop him.

"No need to deny it, Justin. All I'm saying is: I think he has some sort of feelings for you - you've seen the way he treats you and you can't tell me you haven't noticed the way he glares at me every time he sees me talking to you. It took me a while to figure it out, but I finally realized that's what it was."

Justin didn't know what to say; on one hand, he wanted to tell Andrew what happened in the car and everything that happened after John came up to the car. On the other hand, he wanted to savor the memory of him and Brian kissing, and just hope that Andrew was right and knew what he was talking about.

"I say you should go for it; go get him! Nothing is stopping you."

Justin looked at Andrew and smiled for the first time since he entered the cafeteria. _Could he really do it? Could he have Brian?_

They sat for a while longer just joking around - Andrew telling him tips on how to get Brian - telling him what his 13 year old sister would do to get a boyfriend.

"Don't be shy, but don't act desperate. Make him think you would go out with anyone and he won't feel special. But, if all else fails, don't do anything. Sometimes, a guy will like you because you don't try to get anyone to be your boyfriend. True story - you know that's what happened with me! Oh, and you should always have a good lip gloss ready, preferably something sweet - like strawberry or cotton candy."

At that last comment, Justin laughed so hard he had tears in his eyes.

Andrew scrunched up his face for a second, before saying, "What did I come in here for in the first place?" After a moment of hesitation, he continued, "Oh well, I better go before they come looking for me."

Justin shrugged, not knowing why Andrew had come in.

Andrew said goodbye and went back to work, leaving Justin alone, to contemplate just how he should go about getting Brian all to himself.


	8. Chapter 8

**All I Want is For You to Want Me**

**Chapter 8**

Justin returned to the office and sat at his desk to do some work. He kept replaying his conversation with Andrew in his head. After finishing his work he thought about what to do and how to approach Brain next, should he initiate the conversation first, or wait for Brian to make the next move?

He was deep in thought when the door opened and John Reid emerged - looking smug for whatever reason; he gave Justin a look that made him feel self-conscience. Did he see them kissing? Did he really know anything or was he just being his usual annoying self?

"Bye, Justin, see you soon," he said, smirking.

_If I never see you again, it'll be too soon. _Justin glared at the retreating, arrogant man, surprised at the vehemence of his thought.

He waited to see if Brian would call him into his office orcome out and see him, but neither happened.

::::::

Brian sat in his office panicking, he didn't know what to do. A part of him wanted to go out and drag Justin inside his office and fuck the shit out of him; the other part wanted everything to be the same before he'd made that stupid mistake by kissing Justin. He busied himself with the new campaign John requested and before he knew it, two hours had passed and it was six o'clock; Justin should have left by now.

He gathered the papers he needed, turned off the lights and exited the office. He knew he was acting like a coward with his behavior, but he had never thought he'd find himself in a situation like this. But, after all, this was Justin, and deep inside he believed anything bad that happened to the blond, it was his fault. Every time, without fail, something bad happens to Justin when he's near him, he knew he was the reason for it: prom night being the most consequential.

Brian went home, hoping to get some sleep. He used to love the night; it was like a cover for him where he could escape his horrible childhood. But now, with days like this one, he feared the night. He knew the nightmares would haunt him; it was the prison where all his memories were locked, and the key to opening it was initiated and then intensified by stress.

::::

After waiting for Brian for an hour, Justin left for home, feeling rejected. As he shut the door to his small apartment, he started stripping off his clothes, leaving a path on the floor as he made his way to the bathroom. He filled the bathtub and added some scented bath oil. He stayed in the tub for a long time, pondering over earlier events of the day. He couldn't stop thinking about Brian; the man was an enigma to him. He replayed the kiss over and over in his mind: thinking how exciting it felt, how intense the pleasure was. _How could he feel such strong emotions for this man? _It was strange how familiar his lips tasted, like he had kissed him before._ Home. _He didn't know how to explain it, but all he could think of to describe what he felt, was that he was finally - Home.

He heard the phone ringing, but he didn't want to move, deciding the answering machine could pick up. But when he heard Daphne's voice, he quickly got out of the tub, putting on his terry bathrobe that was hung on the bathroom door, tying it as he ran to answer it.

"Justin, pick up! I know you're there, come on!"

"Hey Daphne, what's up?"

"What's wrong?"

"What makes you think something's wrong?"

"Well, Andrew called..."

"I can't believe the two of you! You're talking about me behind my back now?"

"Justin, quit the theatrics - _please. _What's wrong? Did something happen with your boss?"

"Don't tell me, Andrew told you that, too. Look I'm fine. I don't want you to worry, okay?"

"Okay…" Justin could hear her sigh in frustration. "So what were you doing that took you so long to answer?"

"I was in the bathtub ..."

"You were _what? _And you say don't worry about it? It's a clear sign that you are upset! Don't move! I'm coming over - _right now!"_

Justin didn't get a chance to reply as she'd hung up the phone before he even got a chance to talk her out of it. He replaced the telephone receiver in its cradle, and went to put some clothes on.

When the phone rang five minutes later, he let the machine pick up again. It was Andrew wanting to apologize for telling Daphne.

"Justin, I know you're there; I just talked to Daphne. I'm sorry man; I didn't think she would react like this." Justin just flipped-off the machine and continued his search for food. "You know it's_ your _fault! If you'd say what's wrong with you when I ask, I wouldn't have to tell Daphne." _So now it's __**my **__fault,_ Justin thought, feeling anger arising again. "See you tomorrow, bye."

Five minutes later, Daphne called again wanting to know what he wanted to eat, and what kind of junk food he was in the mood for. Justin told her to bring whatever she wanted and hung up on her (payback is a bitch), after all, she hung up on him first. _Wow I really am an immature twat, _he thought.

:::::

Daphne burst through the door thirty minutes later, carrying so many bags of food which she dropped onto the coffee table. She turned around to face Justin; her face showing how worried she was. Justin felt guilty for causing her to worry.

"Come on, let's eat," Daphne said.

Justin nodded and went to get plates. They sat in silence eating and watching a movie that she had brought with her. After they finished eating, they cleaned the table and sat back on the coach with a huge tub of ice cream between them.

"So, tell me what's bothering you."

Justin tried again to protest that nothing was bothering him, but one look at Daphne's face and he knew he'd better relent and tell the truth.

"Andrew told you I have a crush on my boss, right?" At Daphne's nod he continued, "Well, it's not a crush anymore; I think I'm in love with him."

Daphne's reaction was exactly how he thought she would react; she looked shocked. Unbeknownst to Justin, Daphne was thinking:_ Justin never talks about love; at least he's never mentioned it again since before what happened at Prom. _So she knew to believe him - If he says he's in love, then he is.

"Today he asked me to go to a meeting with him; the meeting was at a new restaurant he was doing a campaign for. We sat at a table for two, just like we were on a date. The food was great; we talked about the campaign and what the ads will look like, and he even asked my opinion on the color scheme. His mannerism seemed a bit strange; he kept staring at me and he looked lost in thought half the time, but mostly, he looked... sad. Now that I think about it, his whole behavior was atypical today.

"When we got back to the office, he parked the car and we just sat there for a moment. His face had this intense expression, like he was thinking of something... Suddenly he leaned over and kissed me. Daphne, it was_** so **_amazing, I felt it through to my soul. And, do you know what I did when it ended?"

Daphne shook her head not having any idea.

"_I_ kissed _him_. I was the one who initiated the second kiss; I couldn't believe it - I have never done this before. Soon we were kissing heavily when that asshole I told you about..."

"John, was it? Doesn't matter, continue..."

"Well, naturally, we had to stop kissing. Then_ he _was standing by the car flirting shamelessly with Brian, not even caring that I was there. We got out of the car, and I had to follow them up to the office, watching _him, _clinging onto Brian's arm. As they were going into Brian's office, _he_ had the audacity to tell me not to have_ anything _interrupt them for an hour. After the asshole left, Brian just stayed in his office. I finally just came home without seeing him; I felt so rejected."

Daphne looked at him, feeling his pain. She contemplated about what he had said, before saying,

"Justin..."

"Yeah?" He was busy licking the ice cream off his spoon.

"You should seduce him."

"What?" he said, with a mouth full of ice cream.

"Well, not exactly,_ seduce him_. But, you need to make him see you differently. He needs to make the first move. You said he was the one who initiated the kiss, so, why don't you push him a little bit so he would take whatever you two have to the next level?"

Justin thought of what she said. "What should I do?"

"We know he likes you and we also know that he's attracted to you. First, you should change the way you dress. Seriously Justin, all you wear is baggy clothes. You should get a new style that accentuates your best quality; meaning your ass..."

"Daphne...!"

"I'm not kidding; you want this guy, you have to do this! You also need to use sensual cologne; do you realize that 55% of guys admit to hooking up just because they liked the scent of the person they are attracted to? I don't think you should change your hair style though; long hair is definitely good on you.

"Play Hard to Get; don't be too obvious in showing your interest. Ignore him every now and then, _but _don't be too cold.

"Use a sexy voice. Nothing is more seductive than a gentle yet sensuous tone; whisper something in his ear like, _You look chic in blue." _

Justin looked skeptically at her, not sure he could go through with it.

"So what do you think? Will you do it?"

Justin looked at Daphne for a minute before nodding; he_ was _going to do it. He had to try something.

Daphne went into his bedroom and started rummaging through his closet for something he could wear tomorrow. She found a pair of black low riding jeans and a blue sweater that would look amazing on him. Tossing them onto the bed she asked, "Where is the cologne I got you for Christmas?"

Justin looked sheepish. She narrowed her eyes at him before looking for it; she found it under his bed - still wrapped.

"Justin! What the fuck?"

"Sorry, I just haven't gotten around to opening it."

Daphne glared at him as she unwrapped it. She took the cologne out and sprayed a little on Justin.

"What do you think?"

"Hey, I like it."

Daphne gave him a smug look.

"Now, try the clothes on I picked out, and put a grey shirt on under the sweater," she said, as she was leaving the room so he could get dressed.

When he walked out of his room, Daphne's mouth dropped open slightly. She just stared at him, admiringly._ He looked so beautiful._

Justin felt uncomfortable in the jeans. "What do you think? They feel too tight, especially around my ass."

Daphne laughed and replied, "That's the point! And... I think Brian doesn't stand a chance against resisting you."

Justin grinned at her, hoping she was right.


	9. Chapter 9

**All I Want is For You to Want Me**

**Chapter 9**

_Brian and Justin were lying on the leather chaise making out. Brian was on his back while Justin was on top of him naked, his legs spread on either side of Brian's jean-clad legs; he loved the feel of the fabric on his naked skin. Brian was fingering his hole while he rubbed Brian's cock through the fabric of his jeans. Suddenly, Brian flipped him so he was the one on top. Justin yelped - and then giggled when Brian started tickling him._

"_Please stop!" Justin wheezed out through fits of laughter. Brian continued the torture for a couple of minutes before starting to rub Justin's dick with his thigh. Justin moaned at this; he loved the sensation it created._

"_What do you want, little boy?"_

"_I want you," Justin whispered._

"_What do you want me to do to you?"_

"_Brian, please... touch me, fuck me. Anything! I need you. Fuck!" Justin felt Brian's hand slide between his legs; he spread them wider for an easier access. Brian lubed his fingers and gently entered first one finger, followed shortly by a second one, stretching and preparing Justin, while his other hand grasped Justin's cock, stroking it. When Brian's fingers slid over Justin's prostate, Justin's hips involuntarily bucked, and his cock was leaking precome._

"_Such a wet boy," Brian whispered._

"_For you, Brian. It's all for you."_

_Brian loved hearing those words; they were such a turn on. He quickly removed his jeans, his cock already fully erect, grabbed a condom, and prepared himself. He slowly entered Justin, pausing, waiting for him to adjust, and then started thrusting slowly at first, then he sped up the pace, moving faster and faster, heightening their pleasure. He kept kissing Justin plunging his tongue inside Justin's mouth, keeping the pace he fucked him with. Brian knew Justin was close to climaxing, as his hands grasped painfully into his thigh, trying to pull Brian deeper and closer. Brian pulled all the way out of Justin, and then slammed in, hard, hitting Justin's prostate. Justin climaxed without even touching himself, shooting his cum all over their stomachs. His muscles spasmed around Brian's dick, causing Brian to follow immediately, shouting Justin's name as he came. He didn't know what it was about Justin, but he had never experienced such sensational orgasms. Brian collapsed on top of Justin. They lay for a while trying to calm their breathing, both exhausted from their mind-blowing orgasms._

"_Brian?_

"_Yes?"_

"_Do you have anything edible in the loft?"_

_Brian chuckled, giving him a look that said everything he needed to say, which told Justin just what a stupid question that was, and wondering if he'd lost his mind. Instead, he got up, pulling Justin with him and they went into the shower._

_They finished with their shower, got dressed, and Brian took Justin to a nice restaurant before driving him home._

_On the way home, Justin started the conversation. "Did you know tomorrow is my high school prom?"_

"_Are you asking me to be your date for the prom, Justin?"_

"_Of course not! I'm not that cruel. I'm only going because Daphne asked me to..." At Brian's confused look, Justin continued, "You know... my best friend; haven't I told you about her?" Brian shook his head. "Well, I guess I was probably too busy fucking..." Brian smiled in amusement at that comment._

"_You know what could make the night perfect? When it's over, if you'd come and pick me up from the hotel that's hosting it, take me back to the loft and fuck me senseless. I mean, all the kids will get lucky tomorrow night, why can't I, too?" Justin finished, a knowing smirk on his face._

_Brian thought about it for a minute, before muttering, "I'll think about it."_

_Justin sat back in the seat, smiling to himself; a long time ago he had figured out that-that response from Brian meant yes._

_When they arrived to Justin's house, Brian stopped a couple of houses away from Justin's. Justin gave him a small kiss, which ended up turning into a make out session. Five minutes later, with every ounce of control he could muster, Brian pulled back from Justin and pushed him out the door, before they ended up fucking in the car - AGAIN._

_**Prom Night...**_

_Justin and Daphne were sitting at one of the tables talking and giggling at how ridiculous some of the kids looked as they danced. Justin felt his cell phone vibrating in his pocket; it was a message from Brian._

'_**Meet me in the parking lot in five minutes'**_

_Justin excused himself to go to the restroom - instead, he quickly walked in the direction of the garage. When he arrived, he searched for Brian and found him leaning against his jeep smoking a cigarette. He looked so handsome wearing an all black attire; it about took Justin's breath away. He turned and walked towards him, not able to contain his excitement, giving him one of his famous bright smiles. _

_Brian looked up and smirked at him, giving him a sexy look before he drawled, "Like what you see?"_

"_Yeah…" came Justin's breathy reply. Brian pulled at Justin's suit jacket until he was flush against him, commenting on how hot he looked. He gave him a sweet kiss, then turned them around until Justin was leaning against the jeep. Brian leaned in, pausing for a second before he started kissing him, the kiss quickly deepening as Justin's lips._

"_Are you ready to go now?"_

_Justin couldn't help smiling; he was 'on top of the world'. "Yeah, but I have to go tell Daphne I'm going to leave. I won't be long, okay?"_

_Brian leaned in and kissed him once more. "I'll be waiting for you." _

_Justin continued smiling as he turned to walk away. Brian realized he hated to see him go; his hand lingering on Justin's outstretched arm_

_He smiled warmly at Justin. Dropping his hand, he just nodded and got in the jeep to wait for Justin's return. He was still smiling as he watched through his mirror as Justin walked away. Suddenly, someone came out of nowhere, appearing to be walking rapidly behind Justin. Brian watched as that person moved closer to Justin, a feeling of dread creeping inside him. Too late, he realized the person was carrying a bat. Brian quickly jumped out of his car, frantically yelling to Justin. Hearing Brian's voice, Justin turned to look back, just as the attacker swung his bat. Brian had been too late to save him._

"_DIE FAGGOT!" ... Brian heard coming from the attacker and felt his heart breaking at that, knowing that Justin had done nothing wrong. He was just being the person he was; he didn't deserve this._

"_JUSTIN!" Brian's voice echoed once again._

_He ran after the man, took hold of the bat and delivered a few blows until he was lying on the ground unable to move. He tossed the bat and ran to Justin, tears flowing as he tried to get a response from him, but to no avail..._

_He heard himself yelling 'No no no no no', as he reached down to pull Justin into his arms, rocking back and forth, the blood rapidly soaking his shirt, hands and face. He quickly dialed 911, reporting what happened, yelling for them to HURRY! He was so scared; he had never before seen this much blood._

_When the ambulance arrived, he rode with Justin to the hospital. He kept looking at Justin's pale face; devoid of any color. When they arrived at the hospital he followed them inside. He paced the waiting room as they operated on Justin - praying to a god he didn't know if he believed in - wanting someone to tell him something - anything - about Justin's condition, but no one came._

_A police officer approached him and took his statement about the incident. Brian retold the events, excluding the fact that they knew each other._

"_I was sitting in my car waiting for a friend, when I saw this guy holding a bat walking behind the kid. I saw him swing the bat while shouting "Die faggot". I ran in their direction, took the bat away from the attacker, stopping him from doing any more damage, then I called 911... and the rest you can figure out."_

_The police officer left to talk to the doctor about Justin's condition. Brian hoped the bastard who hurt Justin would be severely punished, although he wasn't quite sure it would happen._

_Another hour passed when he noticed a blonde woman walking rapidly in the direction of Justin's room. Brian turned and walked in the direction of the fire exit; he did not want to see the look on her face, and in her eyes._

_A month passed as Justin laid in a coma. Brian spent every night outside his room, looking at him through the glass. Then that wonderful night came when Justin woke up. Brian was again in the hallway looking at him, when suddenly his eyes opened. He looked directly at Brian for a few seconds before his eyes closed again._

_Brian called the nurse and told her what happened. She went inside to examine Justin and confirmed that he was indeed waking up from his coma. Brian's heart sped up at the gravity of this situation. The nurse immediately called Justin's mother to deliver the good news. Opting on not wanting to be there when Justin's mother arrived, he walked out of the hospital. He knew he couldn't go in to see Justin anyway._

_As it turned out, Justin lost all of his memories of the three months prior to the accident. Brian did not believe it at first; he was in denial. He could never see Justin again_

_Brian had no intention of going to the trial; then he was petitioned by the court. It turned out, Brian's emotional testimony of the events of that night held the most credence. The day came when judgement was to be delivered. The attacker, Chris Hobbs, got ten years in prison. Brian breathed a huge sigh of relief. He had sat in the last row and watched as Justin's mother cried in relief at hearing the punishment... Justin was not there._

::::

Brian sat straight up in bed, gasping for air, his heart beating frantically, before he realized it was the same nightmare... it was the bashing all over again, and, as always, he was too late.

He got out of bed, grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniel's and walked over to the sofa. He sank down into the soft cushion and once again, tried to relieve the pain. He sat there, drinking straight from the bottle, and started remembering all the events since that horrible night, leading up to this moment...

He'd kept an eye on Justin through the years. When Justin couldn't go to PIFA because his asshole of a father refused to pay for his faggot son, Brian arranged for Vangard - where he worked as a partner back then - to give a scholarship to a student that he picked.

When Justin tried to drop out of the IFA because of his hand, he arranged a meeting with an agency representative to give him a computer like the one they used in their art department.

And when Justin applied for a job in his agency, he now realized he had made the biggest mistake of his life when he hired him as his Personal Assistant, instead of placing him in the Art Department where he should have.

::::

Justin arrived at the office early, and he quickly organized the files needed for today. He couldn't believe he was actually doing it; he was going to try and seduce Brian. The mere thought made him blush.

The clothes Daphne picked out for him to wear today made him feel so uncomfortable, but, he had to admit that he looked good in them; he hoped Brian thought so too.

When Brian arrived to his office, Justin was leaning against his desk making notes of the things he needed to do today; his ass displayed provocatively. Brian gulped, hoping his hard-on wouldn't be apparent. _Why is Justin dressed like this?_

Justin turned around when he felt Brian's presence behind him and smiled brightly at him, taking note of the look on Brian's face.

"Good morning, Brian. You're here early today!" Pausing, before he continued with, "Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong." He looked at Justin, and thanked god he didn't change his hair; _he looked so beautiful with his hair long._

"Is that a new tie? It really looks good with that suit; red is _definitely_ your color."

Brian looked at him in surprise; something wasn't quite right. Justin had never made comments to him like that before, at least, not using this tone of voice that turned him on so fucking much.

"Thanks."

Brian was still standing in the middle of his office when Justin brushed against him as he passed him on his way out. Brian's eyes got wide at this; is Justin flirting with him? _Oh Lord, I'm so fucked._

Justin went to the cafeteria to meet Andrew, who was already sitting at a table reading the newspaper. When he saw Justin his eyes widened. Justin walked to the table and sat opposite him.

"WOW!"

"I'm still angry with you," Justin said, grimacing.

"Can I just tell you something?" Justin nodded. "You look hot!"

Justin blushed at this. "Andrew!"

"What? You look _totally _fuckable. I'd go for you myself if I didn't already know who it was that you really want."

At that moment, Justin saw Brian heading in the direction of the cafeteria. He leaned closer to Andrew, motioning for him to come closer and whispered in his ear, "I want you to laugh when I pull away."

Justin kept an eye on Brian as he and Andrew pretended to be cozy together. He saw him frown and watched as he walked right back out. There was something angry in the way he tossed the cup of coffee he was drinking in the garbage can.

Justin went to get Brian's coffee, stopping to also buy him some tasty pastries. When he entered Brian's office, Brian didn't look up from the computer, so, he walked behind the desk until he reached Brian's chair. He sat the coffee on the desk.

"Hey, I brought you breakfast. I know you didn't have any, so how about you eat some of the pastries I bought. It will help with your headache."

"What makes you think I have a headache?" Brian turned in his chair to face him; Justin was so close to him.

"You have that frown you always get when you have a headache. Now eat, before everything gets cold." He walked out of the office, putting an extra swing to his hips. He knew Brian was staring at him; he could feel his eyes on him.

The next time Brian called him for something, he made sure he was close enough that Brian could smell his scent. He would move closer to Brian without any reason at all, and Brian kept moving away whenever he got too close, which finally got Justin very frustrated.

At lunch Brian told him to order for him, as he didn't feel like going out; Justin ordered Chinese and also dessert. He told Andrew he couldn't go to lunch with him, instead he stayed in the office with Brian. When the food arrived, Justin set their plates on the coffee table, and went and got drinks.

"Brian, the food is ready, come on."

Brian walked to the sofa and was surprised when Justin sat so close to him. After finishing their meal, which was filled with tension, Justin served the dessert; it was 'Cappuccino Chocolate Mousse'.

"Are you trying to get me fat?" Brian asked, scowling when he saw what Justin had ordered for dessert.

Justin giggled as he shook his head in playful amusement. Deliberately, he had chosen to sit across from Brian while they ate dessert. He would bring the mousse to his mouth, a delicacy fashioned of a different sort of ambrosia; licking it slowly off the spoon with his tongue as he looked directly into Brian's eyes. Following each sweep of his tongue, he made soft breathless moans... knowing exactly how it would affect Brian.

"Oh, Brian... you have to taste this! It tastes amazing; come on... taste it..." he whispered breathlessly, yet shamelessly.

Brian wanted to taste it on Justin's tongue, but he restrained himself.

After lunch, they were busy with work, so Justin concentrated on that, and didn't have the opportunity to make anymore moves on Brian, until the end of the day. Brian called him into his office, as he wanted to ask him his opinion about an ad board. When they were finished with the discussion, and Justin went to leave, he purposefully backed up, causing him to bump into Brian, which allowed his ass to brush against Brian's groin.

That was the moment Brian lost it! "Why the _fuck_ are you behaving like this?" he yelled.

Justin was startled by Brian's outburst. "Like what?" Justin asked, happy his came out strong, with honest confusion mixed in.

"Like a slut!" Brian hissed.

Justin felt as if he had been slapped, the humiliation causing him to quickly move, so he could get out of Brian's office.

Brian spun him around to face him, grabbing him by the wrist. His voice filled with anger, he said, "I asked you a question! I want to know why you have been acting like a slut towards me, all day! You've changed the way you dress, your behavior has been licentious all day, to say the least, so, I'm asking you... Why have you changed yourself, when you were _perfect _before?"

Justin tried to pull his arm loose, so he could escape the way Brian was looking at him and get out the door as fast as he could.

"Stop struggling! You're not leaving here until I get a straight answer, and_ don't _be a coward."

It was like a switch had been flipped on inside of him at those words. Justin looked him straight in the eye as he yelled back._ "You're _calling _me _a coward? What about _you? You're _the one who's too afraid to go after what you want!_ I'm _doing this because_ you _are the one who is too chickenshit to make a move. I changed so you'd want me, so you'll make the first move, and I'm doing this because I love you, you _Son of a Bitch!" _

Justin grasped Brian behind the neck, and pulled him into a passionate kiss before storming out of the office. Brian stood frozen... The kiss had left him breathless, and he found himself touching his lips that were still tingling from the kiss, as he thought about what Justin had said.

Justin had quickly grabbed his things and ran out of there. He couldn't believe what had just happened. What had he done? _ Oh god, what the fuck was he thinking listening to his friends, and making all those advances towards Brian all day; _it had all backfired on him. He arrived home, unplugged his phone, laid down on his bed - not even bothering to even remove his clothes - and cried himself to sleep.

He woke to the sound of his door being banged on; he looked at the clock on the nightstand, ten-thirty. Well, it really wasn't that late. He didn't want to answer the door, thinking it was probably Daphne wanting to know how his day had gone and what all had happened. But, when the banging hadn't stopped ten minutes later, he grumbled and got up to go open it.

He couldn't believe his eyes, when he opened the door, and saw none other than Brian Kinney staring back at him.

**TBC**


	10. Chapter 10

**All I want is for you to want me.**

**Chapter 10**

**Summary: Brian is finally going after the one he wants…**

**Beta: JustBeAQueen (Thank you so much!)**

Brian stood in the same spot thinking of what Justin had said; he was shocked to say the least. He moved to sit on one of the chairs. Why did he have to say what he did?

Justin loved him.

Which surprised Brian, he didn't think it was serious. He knew Justin felt something for him; he thought it was lust, lust is always easy, and you could get over lust as soon as you had the guy, but love?

He gathered his things, locked the office and went home. When he arrived at the loft he went straight to take a shower; it always calmed him down a bit. While he was in the shower he thought about the kiss, the one Justin so forcefully gave him, he got hard just thinking about it, the softness of Justin's lips, his sweet taste still lingering on his lips. He moved his hand to grasp his erection and stroked it slowly; He kept thinking of Justin spread on his bed, his legs open inviting him in, he stroked faster thinking of all the things he could do to that body; how he would play it, how he would deliver the pleasure. When he climaxed, he didn't feel satisfied, he felt empty.

Michael called to invite him to Woody's, and he accepted the invitation; he didn't want to stay in the loft alone.

It was 8:30 when he arrived, the guys were playing pool. He remembered the last time Justin was there, the way Justin would look at him while he taught him how to play; like he was saying the most fascinating thing ever, the way Justin would bend over the table to take the shot and the way he felt when everyone was staring at Justin. He wanted to stake claim to Justin, tell everyone to back off, but Justin wasn't his. He couldn't do anything except watch.

After finishing the game they sat at a table joking around, Brian didn't pay any attention to what was being said; he was thinking of what happened earlier in the office. He was lost in thoughts when he was startled by Michael's loud voice.

"Brian!" Brian looked at his friend and raised an eyebrow in question.

"We asked you a question, weren't you listening?" Brian shook his head.

"We were wondering how many hot guys here you haven't fucked yet? Ted said there is at least ten; I said less than five, so? Who was right?" Brian looked at his best friend, Michael was grinning like an idiot; he probably thought his question was brilliant! Brian stared at him and thought: is that all I am? A slut who sleeps with everyone?

"What do the one who's right win?" Brian asked, sitting his bottle of beer on the table.

"Nothing." Michael looked at him like he was a crazy person for not answering yet.

"In that case it doesn't really matter what the answer is," he answered and got up from the table heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" Michael called, frowning at Brian's strange behavior.

"Later Mikey." Brian called without looking back.

Brian drove for a while, thinking of what he should do; he didn't want to lose Justin and he knew if he didn't do something soon, Justin would never come back. He thought of his friends, how everyone had a certain expectations of him.

First there was Michael who expects Brian to either commit to him or be the stud of Liberty Avenue; he would never accept anything else.

Lindsay wants him to be the father of her son under her conditions; to support Gus and never ask for any of his parental rights, she also had her dreams of being with Brian but she knew better than to pursue them, unlike Michael.

Justin... that brave little fucker, he always went for what he wanted and got it in the end. Brian felt anger swell inside of him; remembering the words Justin said, how dare he say those things? He wasn't the one who lost everything and stayed with the memory!

He drove to Justin's place, determined to set the record straight. He parked his car and sat thinking of what he's about to do. He looked at the clock, it read 10.

Brian exited the car and locked it. He leaned against the car looking at Justin's building and then he started walking along the street practicing what he's going to say:

"Look Justin..." nothing else came, he cursed and started again.

"I know I shouldn't have... fuck it!" he started pacing back and forth cursing loudly, but he stopped after receiving glares from the people walking by.

Brian's frustration morphed into anger at not being able to find a way out from this fucked up situation:

"Screw it!"

He saw someone exiting the building so he quickly moved to the door and got in. He looked at the list of the residents searching for Justin's apartment number.

When he arrived at the apartment he looked at the door willing it to open but nothing happened, so he knocked, when nothing happened he knocked again, still no answer, what the fuck?

He started banging the door as hard as he could, thinking something bad must have happened to Justin, he wasn't thinking rationally at the time; like maybe Justin wasn't there or maybe he was asleep.

When the door finally opened, Brian was relieved. He looked at Justin who looked disheveled; his eyes were red, _probably from crying,_ Brian thought, which made him feel guilty, he was wearing the same clothes, his hair was a mess, and Brian thought it was the most beautiful site he had ever laid his eyes on.

"How did you know where I live?" _'Really? That's what you say when the love of your life is at your door?'_ Justin thought with a grimace.

Brian pushed past him and went into the apartment then whirled around to face Justin.

"You don't get to do that," Brian voice was deadly calm; a shiver ran up Justin's spine.

"Do what?" Justin asked, coming closer to where Brian was standing.

"You don't get to say all those things to me and then storm out like some heroine from a scene in a romance novel! You don't get to make me feel this way, like I'm being an asshole or treating you like shit just because I'm not willing to bend for your desires. Why do I have to make the first move? You always got what you wanted out of me!" Brian, in his blind rage, wasn't aware of what he's saying. Justin looked at him, bewildered by what's being said, what is Brian talking about?

"You call me afraid?" Brian continued, not giving Justin room to interrupt, "Of course I am! Do you know how painful it is when you lose someone you love? Do you? Did you ever have something stolen from you? Something you didn't think you wanted or even needed until it was taken away? Well, I have! And it wasn't a pleasant feeling to say the least. Come on! Say something! Or are you the one who is too chicken shit now?" Justin looked at him, thinking of what to say to all of this, he had a deadly look when he moved even closer to Brian.

"You think I haven't suffered enough? Is that it?" Justin said, incredulous, "You think I got everything I wanted in my life?" he was screaming at Brian now, their faces were so close; Brian could feel the heat of Justin's breath.

"I never asked you for anything! All I wanted is for you to want me; I didn't force you to feel anything! And if I recall right YOU were the one who started all of this, YOU were the one who kissed me, and YOU were the one who gave me hope for something more! Remember that? Or did you forget?" Justin said, exhaling loudly, surrounded by the scent of Brian, it was so intoxicating.

"I remember everything." Brian whispered before he kissed him.

Brian pulled Justin to him; he rested his hands on Justin's lower back and kissed him slow and tender, savoring everything. The taste of Justin's mouth, the softness of Justin's lips against his, and feeling the responding pressure of Justin's lips against his. He backed them until they hit the wall, and lifted Justin off the ground so Justin's legs were around his waist; his hands were on Justin's ass. He traced Justin's lips with his tongue asking him to open up for him, Justin obliged, opening up his lips for him, allowing him entry to all of his body.

He moved his left hand to unbutton Justin's jeans while his right massaged Justin's ass, he lowered Justin's jeans and then his underwear and moved his right hand inside, he started trailing his index finger along Justin's crack while his other hand grasped Justin's erection squeezing it, making Justin gasp, pleasure written all over his face.

They parted from the kiss; breathing hard against each other' faces. Brian started fingering Justin's hole while sucking on Justin's neck as Justin's moans got louder and louder, sounds of pleas trembled out of Justin's mouth as he felt Brian maneuvering his body, feeling his hands all over.

Brian moved his right hand and lifted the hem of the sweater Justin was wearing, Justin quickly removed the sweater.

'_Not an inch of you I will not touch'_ A possessive need snarled inside of Brian.

"Where is the bedroom" Brian whispered in Justin's ear.

"That way…" he pointed the direction.

Brian turned them around, Justin legs still wrapped around his waist and Justin's arms still wrapped around his neck.

He laid Justin on the bed and started undressing him. First he removed his socks then pulled his pants and underwear in one swift move, then the shirt, unbuttoning it slowly while looking at Justin's face, _god... he was so beautiful_. Then he quickly removed his clothing; not able to wait any longer.

He climbed on the bed, crawling to Justin on all fours while Justin looked at him with heavy lidded eyes. He started kissing his way up Justin's body starting at his belly button and then up to his nipples where he sucked at the rosy buds until they were swollen, then higher to his neck where he licked the length of it until he reached Justin's ear lobe which he sucked while playing with his nipples.

"What do you want Justin?" he whispered in his ear.

"Touch. Me."

"Turn around," Justin turned feeling disappointed that Brian didn't want to fuck him face to face, but when he felt Brian's tongue trailing down his back he moaned when he registered what Brian was going to do.

Brian started licking around his hole, nibbling at the folds of his pucker, driving him crazy with the need for Brian to be inside of him, then he felt Brian's tongue enter him and he was in heaven. Brian kept stroking him while he ate his ass, Justin didn't want to cum like this and if Brian kept doing this he will.

"Brian, I'm gonna cum." Justin said in warning.

But Brian didn't stop, in fact he increased the pace in which he fucked him with, when Justin was about to climax Brian flipped him on his back and took Justin's cock in his mouth sucking him to the last drop.

Justin lay there catching his breath not believing how amazing it felt. Brian crawled up to meet him in a scorching kiss letting Justin taste himself on his tongue.

Brian kept kissing him till he felt him get hard again, he trailed his fingers till he reached Justin's hole which was still wet from the rim job. He entered a finger inside him, trying to get him loose; _he was so tight!_ Justin gasped at the intrusion, _it felt so good!_

When Brian started preparing himself to take him, Justin put his hand on Brian's arm to get his attention looking unsure and a little bit scared.

"Go slow." Brian looked at him having a déjà vu moment of their first time together; he nodded understanding what Justin was saying, and moved to enter him.

He started entering Justin slowly, looking at Justin's face to see if there was any discomfort, when there was none he began moving inside of him, the pace was slow almost tender, some would call it love making.

When Justin started meeting his thrusts encouraging him to move faster, Brian couldn't control himself any longer, he began thrusting inside of the blond faster while ravishing his mouth.

Justin gave as good as he got, sucking on Brian's tongue, meeting his thrusts, and whispering dirty things in his ear.

"Do you like that?"

"Yeah…"

"How does it feel inside of me?"

"Amazing."

"Fuck me! Hard!"

Which drove Brian wild, he started thrusting hard inside the blond as Justin's moans filled the air around him, he started stroking Justin's cock bringing him closer to orgasm as he stroked his prostate with every thrust, Justin was in heaven.

They climaxed almost at the same time. Brian lay on top of him, gasping for air. Justin wrapped his legs and arms around him and pulled him even closer.

After a while Brian pushed himself off Justin and pulled out of him slowly not wanting to hurt him, he looked at Justin who seemed to want to say something but held back. He tied and tossed the condom, then pulled Justin to him kissing his forehead.

They didn't say anything after that; just lay there together. Justin closed his eyes and seemed to have fallen asleep with his head on Brian's chest. Brian covered them with the duvet, and then stared at Justin's sleeping face; he kissed his forehead before whispering:

"I missed you."


	11. Chapter 11

**All I Want is for You to Want Me**

**Chapter 11**

**Summary: The morning after…**

**Beta: JustBeAQueen**

**:::::**

Justin was drifting into sleep when he heard what Brian said.

"_That was weird."_ he thought but then shrugged it off; thinking he hadn't heard right.

::::

Justin woke up first, he didn't move, he just lay in bed enjoying being in Brian's arms, he listened to Brian's heart beats, making sure last night was real; that it wasn't just a dream.

He sat up looking down at Brian's sleeping form, he looked so beautiful, he wanted to remember this moment. He already lost one of the most important moments one has in life; his first time, so Justin decided to think of last night as his first time.

His hand itched to sketch the scene before him but sadly there wasn't time, he quickly went to the bathroom, relieved himself and then started the shower, while in the shower he started thinking about what Brian would do once he wakes up, will he leave or will he stay? Will he want to be with Justin? Or does he want him as a fuck buddy only? All those doubts filled Justin's head; he decided to not think about what's happening for the time being and enjoy his time with Brian, however long that may be.

He dried himself and went into the bedroom naked, Brian was sprawled on his bed. The duvet had slipped; exposing Brian's naked form. Justin looked at Brian's magnificent cock and felt himself getting hard. He licked his lips wanting to taste Brian. He walked to the bed and laid back down, he then brushed the hair that had fallen over Brian's forehead, while his other hand made its way to Brain's cock.

He started stroking him slowly then he moved down Brian's body. He started licking his balls first, sucking one ball into his mouth and then releasing it to work on the other. After that he moved to the shaft licking its length before sucking the head into his mouth, he circled the head with his tongue before delving it into the hole. He moved to deep throat him, loving the sound of Brian's moans. When Brian came, it was with a loud moan that made Justin sure the neighbors across the street heard them.

Brian woke up to the most amazing sensation ever; someone was sucking his cock like a pro. _That someone was Justin_, the thought made him smile.

Justin climbed up Brian's body and kissed him with a deep cum filled kiss.

"Good morning." Justin whispered trailing tender kisses along Brian's jaw.

"Good morning." Brian replied before flipping him on his back and kissing him full on the mouth, Justin pulled away reluctantly.

"We don't have much time, we will be late." he untangled himself from Brian, brushing away Brian's wandering hands and went into the kitchen to prepare breakfast, chuckling when he heard Brian moan in frustration.

Justin started making Oatmeal; he added flax seed, blueberries and almonds to it, which made it delicious; he wanted to make a healthy meal that Brian would willingly eat without complaining. Brian walked out of the bedroom naked to the scene of Justin, who was also still naked, in the Kitchen preparing breakfast. Brian moved behind him, turned him around and then kissed him. He then buried his nose in Justin's hair then pulled his head back and looked at Justin.

"You showered without me?" he almost had a pout on his face, which made Justin smile; he loved this playful side of Brian.

"I'm sorry, how can I make it up to you?" Brian looked at him, gave him a sexy smile before sliding down on his knees to give him the best blow job he ever had.

:::

Brian went to shower leaving Justin to finish making breakfast, he didn't want to think of what he was doing. Screw everything else; he'll deal with it when the time comes.

He dressed with the clothes from last night and went into the kitchen to find Justin who was dressed now, sitting the table for breakfast. He went behind him, grabbed the dishes he was holding and kissed him on his neck; Justin smiled at him and went to get the rest of their breakfast.

Brian sat at the table waiting for Justin. When Justin went to set beside him, Brian grabbed his arm moving him to set on his lap. Justin blushed at that, turning around in Brian's lap to kiss him, they kissed once then pulled away looking into each other's eyes, Justin couldn't believe how great everything was going so far.

They ate like that, with Justin on Brian's lap, he would eat a spoonful then share it with Brian in a deep kiss; somehow the food tasted better that way.

After finishing breakfast they quickly headed for the office, Brian had a spare suit there. On the way there Justin kept thinking of what to say.

"We should talk about this." Justin looked at Brian; waiting for an answer, but Brian stayed silent.

"I know, but could we not do it now? Maybe a little later?" Justin had given up on a response when Brian spoke. He looked at him, noting how difficult it was for him to admit anything. Justin nodded.

When they arrived at the office, Brian went to change in the bathroom while Justin prepared for the day. He paused at the door and looked at Justin before saying, "wanna help me out?" Brian lifted one suggestive eyebrow, Justin laughed and shook his head.

Justin avoided Andrew all day, he didn't want to see him, because he knew that Andrew would want to know what happened and he didn't want to tell anyone yet.

At lunch Justin went to Brian's office, swishing his hips while he moved around the office putting files away, knowing Brian's gaze was following his every move.

"What's for lunch?" Brian asked, his cock already hard from all the teasing.

"Me." Justin answered; he was standing in front of Brian's desk. He started moving his hips in a provocative way, turning around to give Brian a good view of his ass, and then he started making his way around the desk when suddenly he was flat on his ass. Brian got up and came around to see what happened, to find that Justin had tripped and fell on his ass.

Justin felt so embarrassed by that, he was blushing and averting his eyes not meeting Brian's. Brian kneeled in front of him, he held Justin's face in his right hand lifting it up to face his, he saw the look on Justin face. He certainly didn't want him to feel bad so he kissed him. Justin kissed him back glad that his embarrassment ended. Brian pulled him up after, telling him to continue the show.

Justin felt hesitant, he wasn't so sure of himself anymore, but at Brian's encouragement he walked to Brian's chair and sat on his lap so they were facing each other. He started moving his hips back and forth, he felt Brian getting hard at this so he continued what he was planning to do.

"I seem to have a problem I need you to help me with, sir." Justin whispered in Brian's ear, he licked a trail down to his collar bone. Brian lifted his head to accommodate Justin, his lips parting in a silent gasp.

"What kind of problem?" he finally managed to say.

"See, last night this guy gave me the fuck of a life time, and now I need more. Know of anyone willing to help me out?" Justin said, nibbling on Brian's lips.

"I might know someone…" Justin ground his ass hard at this making Brian moan.

"Don't take too long, it's urgent." Brian smirked at him then he lifted Justin and stood still holding him. He sat Justin on the desk and cleared everything on the desk before he pushed Justin down so he was sprawled on it.

They fucked on the desk hard and fast. Brian relished the feeling of being inside Justin, it still felt so unreal, like he was dreaming and any time now he'll wake to find out it was all a dream. After they climaxed hard and almost simultaneously, he discarded the condom, kissed Justin, and went to the bathroom. Justin was still in the same position he left him in when he came back with a wet towel to wipe the cum off him. They dressed while playfully groping each other.

After "lunch" they were busy with work, so they didn't have any alone time together until later when Brian called Justin to his office to ask about the business event the company was attending.

"How many are attending the event?"

"All are attending except two who had a previous commitment in the same night. Where is it held anyway?"

"In the "Hilton garden", they organized for an art show for the event; I think you'll like it."

"Really? Why haven't you told me this before?"

"Mr. Anderson just informed of this, he wanted quote, 'to add some class.'" Brian smirked at him.

Justin felt excited; thinking he would meet some fellow artists. He smiled at Brian before walking around the desk and pulling him into a hard kiss. He pulled away from the kiss, looked at Brian, then kissed his cheek and left, leaving Brian with a hard cock and a stupid smile on his face.

Andrew came by the office wanting to know what happened yesterday and why wasn't Justin answering his phone, but Justin apologized saying he had work to do and that he would talk to him later.

At 5:30 Brian walked out of his office ready to leave for the day, he found Justin still busy typing.

"What are you still working on?" Brian frowned, walking around Justin's desk to peer at his computer monitor.

"Just some emails I have to send, nothing important." Justin answered, his attention still on the computer monitor.

"Leave them for tomorrow then." Brian said slowly, the 'Duh' evident in his voice.

"I can't, I'll be thinking about them all day."

"Justin, as your boss I'm ordering you to leave." Justin looked at Brian then, seeing the look he was giving him. He left everything and turned to Brian and kissed him

"I love it when you're bossy, it's so hot." He said, planting another kiss on Brian's lips.

"Yeah," they started kissing again, until Brian got some of his senses back and ended the kiss.

Justin's stomach growled at that moment making him feel self-conscious. He buried his face in Brian's neck, blushing. He felt Brian shake against him, so Justin looked up; Brian was giggling...GIGGLING!

"Are you laughing at me?" Justin asked feigning anger, but Brian didn't answer he kept laughing.

"It's your fault, you made me skip lunch." Justin said so petulantly, he might as well have stuck his tongue out.

"How is it my fault? You were the one who seduced me first!" Brian protested.

"You could've resisted." Justin pointed out.

"I couldn't; your seduction is so powerful no gay man can resist you." Brian said with a smarmy smile, pulling Justin into his arms and squeezing his ass.

"You resisted yesterday." Justin said, turning his face when Brian went to kiss him.

"I was hard all day yesterday thinking of you. I couldn't think of anything else." Brian purred.

"Really?" Justin couldn't resist the smile that appeared on his face.

"Uh huh." Brian answered, capturing Justin's lips. Justin allowed him this time, Brian's words ringing in his ears.

Justin loved hearing this, Brian on the other hand couldn't believe the things that were coming out of his mouth, it's like the filter between his brain and his mouth disappeared whenever he was near the blond.

"Grab your things and let's go then, before your stomach eats itself!" Brian said with a look of exaggerated horror on his face. Justin laughed and shoved him playfully away.


	12. Chapter 12

**All I want Is For You To Want Me**

**Chapter 12**

**Summary: you can't escape your past…**

**Beta: JustBeAQueen**

**:::::**

_Justin snuck out of his parents' house at midnight. He borrowed Daphne's car and went to the loft, he knocked on the door and in seconds he found himself pinned to the wall being kissed. They parted from the kiss, breathing heavily against each other._

"_That was hot," Justin breathed against Brian's lips._

"_Yeah," Brian agreed before he dragged him inside and fucked the shit out of him._

_After they finished they laid there for a while, sweaty and sated, talking about nothing in particular. Brian went to the bathroom and when he returned Justin wasn't in the bedroom. He heard the sound of the fridge open and close and smirked. Of course he was in the kitchen searching for food._

"_Hey Bubble butt! Don't your parents feed you ever? You're always hungry!" Brian walked naked to the kitchen._

"_What did you call me?" Justin whirled, Banana in one hand, and the other hand placed on his hip, glaring at Brian._

"_You heard me." Brian raised an eyebrow, looking pointedly at the food In Justin's hand._

"_You think my butt is too big?" Justin actually managed to look hurt_

"_No! I think your Butt is just big." Brian said tongue in cheek._

"_You know, you're just jealous of my butt and... And mean!" Brian chuckled, he walked to him, pulled him in his arms then moved his hands to grab his ass, he squeezed the mounds of flesh under his hands before saying:_

"_You know your ass is perfect, so don't go fishing for compliments bubble butt." Brian spanked said perfect ass._

"_Okay, boo-bear." Justin cooed, adorning one of his bratty smiles._

"_What did you call me?" Brian said, frowning._

"_Oh, you don't like it? How about hot stuff, or maybe big daddy, oooh I got it! Big dick, it seems so fitting!" Justin said and quickly stepped away from Brian before his hand landed on his ass in a spank._

"_Don't call me that!" Brian barked, half indignant._

"_Okay, Bri-Bri, I won't" Justin was smirking at him giving him I'm-so-cute look, Brian gave him a glare before dragging him and fucking him senseless in order to shut him up._

"_You need to go…"Brian exhaled the smoke in his lungs, they were laying in bed after another round that left them exhausted. Justin looked at Brian startled by his words:_

"_It's three o'clock, you need to go or you'll get caught." Brian elaborated further, Justin nodded in understanding. He got up and got dressed, when he finished he walked to the bed and gave Brian a kiss._

"_Good night Bri-Bri," he said, tracing his thumb along the arc of Brian's lower lip. Brian smiled faintly, he held Justin's hand in his and kissed his palm. Justin brushed their lips and straightened, giving Brian a brilliant smile, he turned and left, leaving Brian smiling fondly._

::::::

"So what are you in the mood for?" Brian asked, even though he kind of knew what will Justin say, they were in the car heading in the direction of the loft.

"Greasy Diner food." Justin smiled at the predictable wince that stole over Brian's face. Brian wasn't particularly thrilled with the choice but he relented and headed for the diner.

When they arrived, they exited the car and went into the diner. They sat at a booth in the back and ordered.

The food arrived and they began eating in silence, Brian stared at Justin amazed by the amount of food he could fit into his mouth but then remembered the amazing blow job Justin gave him this morning and felt grateful for that amazing mouth. Justin noticed Brian staring at him, so Brian said:

"With the amount of food you eat how the fuck are you not fat?"

"I have a great metabolism." Justin boasted giving Brian a smug look. After they finished eating, Justin ordered dessert; he ate a spoonful before cutting a piece and moving it to Brian's mouth.

"Come on Bri-Bri, have a taste, its amazing!" Brian eyes got wide at hearing this.

"What did you call me?" Brian asked, almost uncertain that he heard right. Justin looked surprised by what he said.

"Sorry about that, I don't know where that came from." Justin said, berating himself inside at how stupid it sounded.

"No it's not that, why did you say it?" Brian asked, his eyes searching for any kind of sign that Justin remembered.

"I didn't think about it, it just came out." Brian stared at him, _did Justin remember? Is he getting his memory back?_ Brian didn't know how to feel, he felt hopeful but also scared, _what will Justin feel about what happened? What will happen if he remembered everything?_

"I'm so excited about the art show, did he mention if the artists will be attending the event?" Justin said in an effort to change the subject. Brian wasn't paying attention to what Justin said; Justin nudged his arm to get his attention.

"What's wrong?" Justin said, thinking Brian was upset about the nickname, he honestly didn't know why he said that, he felt like it was right somehow , like Brian wouldn't be offended by it.

"Nothing's wrong, what did you say earlier about the show?"

"I was wondering if the artists will be attending the event."

"He didn't say anything about artists, but I'll ask him tomorrow."

"Thanks." Justin felt so awkward now with the silence they fell into, he moved his hand across the table and placed it on top of Brian's needing the reassurance it provided.

They sat in silence looking into each other eyes; each lost in a world of his own, worrying about very different things.

Brian suddenly pulled his hand away from Justin's, Justin looked questioningly at Brian before turning around to see Brian's friends who just entered the diner. Justin frowned, staring at Brian, willing him to say something but Brian remained silent. He stood up and stormed out of the diner. He walked quickly in the direction of the bus stop needing to escape the whole situation.

Brian was stunned by Justin's reaction, he also felt guilty when he saw the hurt in his blue eyes. He dropped enough money on the table to pay for their meal and got up to follow Justin but was stopped by his best friend wanting to know where he disappeared yesterday. Brian looked at the three men; he wanted to blame them for what happened but he couldn't, all the blame was his.

He headed out of the diner, looking in every direction for a bright blond head finally spotting Justin standing at the bus stop waiting for the bus. He crossed the street and moved closer to Justin but not too close. He stood looking at Justin's face while the other tried to avoid meeting his eyes.

"What do you want?" Justin finally asked, acknowledging Brian's presence.

"I want you." Brian said, his voice quiet and sincere. Justin's head whipped around to look at him, disbelief written all over his face.

"You are ashamed of being seen with me." Justin accused, again averting his eyes; so Brian wouldn't see the hurt in his eyes. _Why would he want to be seen with me? I'm just some kid who works for him, they would think I'm using Brian to get ahead, or worse, they would think I'm one of Brian's tricks that would be discarded eventually_. Justin felt the start of a headache from all the stress. He moved to get away from Brian, but was stopped by Brian's hand on his arm, turning him around to face him.

"I'm not ashamed of you; do you really think I am? Why would I be?" Brian asked, frowning in confusion.

"Then why don't you want your friends to see us together?" when Brian stayed silent, Justin struggled to free his arm from Brian's grasp. Brian fought off Justin's attempt, pulling him even closer to him, till he wound up flushed against Brian's chest.

"Let me fucking go." Justin demanded, his face very close to Brian's.

"Because I'm not ready for them to know! Happy now?" Brian said, still not releasing Justin.

"Why?" Justin asked, Brian groaned, resting his forehead against Justin's, who stopped resisting.

"My friends tend to talk a lot, they also tend to interfere a _lot_, and I'm not ready for them to start meddling in something that hasn't started yet."

"Do you plan on keeping what we have a secret?" Justin felt scared at what Brian's answer would be, he knew that he couldn't walk away from this, but he couldn't live in the shadows waiting for Brian to come to him either.

Brian looked at Justin, having flash backs of the past: of him sitting alone feeling regrets at things he could've done differently, regrets for keeping things a secret, that in the end he couldn't be with the person who needed him the most. He remembered sitting in the loft drunk waiting for Justin to come but he never came, so when Justin asked him that, he knew exactly what to say.

"No, I'll never ask you to be a secret. I don't want us to hide; all I'm asking is for you to give me some time."

"How long do you think you need?" Justin felt hopeful; knowing that Brian didn't want to keep what they had a secret.

"I don't know, a week maybe two. Just the two of us, no one else." Relief flooded Justin's chest when he heard the words, he smiled softly, looking at Brian's face and seeing how anxious he was, kissed him. He kissed him again softly on the lips before he whispered, "okay."

:::::

When they arrived at the loft, they went directly into the bedroom, each needing to feel closer to the other. That night they made love, needing to reassure each other that what they had was real.

Brian pulled Justin to him kissing him while getting rid of his clothes, he laid Justin on the bed and went to turn off all the lights in the loft leaving the blue light above the bed. When he returned Justin was stroking himself slowly, the blue light making an aura around him that made him look ethereal; the scene was breathtaking.

Brian stood still looking at him, when he couldn't take it any longer he walked to Justin, sat on the bed beside him, and stopped his hand movement.

He then lay next to him, and began trailing his hand on Justin's skin beginning at his chest then his arms then moving it to rest on his cheek looking at his face, Justin looked at him, not sure what to do, should he initiate something or wait for Brian? He moved his head up, asking Brian to kiss him, Brian moved then, kissing him passionately wanting to _feel _him in every sense of the word, he moved on top of him, and then he broke the kiss to start sucking on his middle finger while looking in Justin's eyes making the scene so erotic. Justin never felt more aroused in his life, and then he moved to open up Justin to take him, when he felt Justin loosen up he gave Justin the condom before whispering in his ear.

"Put it on me."

Justin moved fast putting the condom, feeling Brian's hardness under his fingers.

Afterward, Justin fell asleep on top of Brian while Brain lay there, thinking of all the things that could go wrong, _what will happen when Justin remembers everything?_


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary: Brian's past comes back to haunt him…**

**Beta: JustBeAQueen **

**A/N: I would appreciate it if you take the time to let me know what you think of the story progress so far. Thank you for reading.**

**All I Want is for You to Want Me **

**Chapter 13**

Justin kept having the same dream all night; the dream was identical in every way to his and Brian's first time together, the only difference was that they both looked different. He felt more than saw that he was younger, Brian looked younger too, and Justin didn't get what it meant. It felt so real to him, like it had actually happened, and that didn't make sense at all.

He woke up to a massive headache, he reached his right hand to touch Brian but the bed was empty. He lifted his head to look around the loft but Brian wasn't there; Justin laid in bed moaning in pain, unable to do anything else.

Brian couldn't sleep. He lay in bed holding Justin, thinking of all the things that could go wrong. He drifted to sleep at 3 only to wake up at 6, he tried to go back to sleep but he couldn't so he extracted himself from under Justin and got dressed in his jogging clothes.

He went outside and began running as fast as he could, never slowing the pace. He wanted to take his mind off things and this is the only way, besides sex, he knew how. But throughout his run Justin's face from last night, before he fell asleep, kept popping up, reminding him of what he wants to forget.

He was near a bakery so he went inside and got pastries for breakfast, when he arrived at the loft he sat their breakfast on the counter and started the coffee machine. He moved to wake Justin up when he heard it; Justin was moaning in pain. He quickly headed for the bedroom and found him curled in the middle of the bed; his face was contorted in pain. Brian touched his arm before curling up behind him, and whispered in his ear, "what's wrong?" Justin moved his face so he could look at Brian

"Headache… hurts," he had tears in his eyes from the pain he was feeling. Brian untangled himself from behind Justin and want into the bathroom to get pain killers from the medicine cabinet. He brought two aspirin before heading to the kitchen to get some water, he handed Justin the pills and the water but Justin didn't take them.

"I'm allergic to Tylenol," Justin explained, Brian nodded before replying.

"I know, it's just aspirin," Justin nodded and took the bills, he then moved to get out of the bed but faltered so Brian got hold of him and laid him back down.

"Where are you going?" Brian asked, winding his arm around Justin's shoulder, Justin closed his eyes, leaning his back on Brian's arm.

"I have to get ready or we'll be late for work." Justin answered, a frown marring his features.

"Justin, it's Saturday." Brian answered him, now more worried by Justin's answer. Brian looked at him, seeing how tired he looked.

"Huh...I can't believe I forgot that." Justin answered leaning away from Brian to lie down but Brian stopped him.

"You can't sleep now, you have to eat something, I brought breakfast so stay awake till I come back," after finishing breakfast Justin went back to sleep, leaving Brian alone.

Brian occupied himself with work, at 11 the phone rang. Brian moved fast to get it so Justin wouldn't wake up from the sound of the phone ringing.

"Kinney," He answered curtly, scanning the paper in his hand.

"Brian? Where are you?" Michael asked.

"I'm not coming." Brian rolled his eyes at his need to answer the fucking phone, thinking he should just hang up and put it on silent.

"But why? You always come to the gym with us on Saturday, didn't you finish fucking Blondie yesterday?" Brian was surprised hearing this. _They saw us,_ was Brian's first thought as he closed his eyes thinking of what to say to his best friend to get him off his case. Then remembered that honesty is the best policy.

"Not that it's any of your fucking business, but I'm not finished fucking the hot blond, so bah-bay Mikey." Brian tossed the phone in the direction of the sofa and went to check on Justin who was still sleeping peacefully. Brian stared at him, tracing the lines of his face, trailing his hand along his jaw, feeling the soft skin under his touch.

::::

Justin woke up again at 4 in the afternoon; he searched for Brian from his spot on the bed and found him watching an old movie. He felt better now, there was still a slight ache but it was much more bearable. And the thought that Brian had taken care of him and let him sleep in his bed was definitely helping him feel better, too.

He padded softly, still wearing just his underwear, to the sofa and stood directly in front of Brian. Brian looked up, seeing that he was much better; he smiled at him before taking his hand and moving him to sit next to him. Justin moved and sat on Brian's lap, hugging him to his chest.

"How are you feeling?" Brian whispered in Justin ear making him shiver.

"Better." Justin turned his face to look at Brian, "what time is it?"

"After 4." Brian answered, kissing along Justin's neck.

"Fuck! I slept all day," Justin felt bad for wasting the day in bed leaving Brian all alone.

"Well, it's not like it was your choice, you were in pain." Brian shrugged not having anything else to say. They sat on the sofa watching the movie with Justin still on Brian's lap. Justin wasn't really watching the movie, he was thinking of the dream he had, when something else occurred to him.

"How did you know I'm allergic to Tylenol?"

"You told me." It wasn't a complete lie; Justin did tell him that, _a long time ago._

Justin didn't remember telling Brian but maybe he did, how else would he know about that?

Changing the subject Brian said, "you should go take a shower, you stink." Justin would've been hurt if he didn't see the look Brian was giving him. He got up from Brian's lap but not before rubbing his ass against Brian's groin, feeling him getting hard under him. He walked in the direction of the bathroom, stopping to get out of his underwear, then bending over to pick it up, giving Brian a perfect view of his ass. When he felt Brian following him he whirled around.

"What do you think you're doing?" Justin asked with an arched eyebrow and a hand on his hip.

"You need help for those hard to reach places." Brian answered, tongue in cheek.

Justin laughed and moved quickly to the shower, with Brian right behind him. When they emerged from the shower half an hour later Brian told him to get dressed. They dressed quickly and left the loft. Justin wasn't sure where they were going or what Brian was going to do, but Brian seemed happy so he was following and hoping he would be going with him, whatever his plans were. When they reached the street outside Justin was heading in the direction of the jeep when Brian took hold of his hand and started walking down the street away from the car. He looked at Brian questioningly.

"I'm in the mood for Italian, and there is an Italian restaurant in this area, want to join me?"

Justin wanted to ask Brian if they were on a date but he didn't dare, thinking that he would scoff at the mere idea, so he just nodded.

They walked hand in hand to the restaurant, the sunset giving the sky beautiful shades of red, reflecting on the buildings while they walked, the colors mixing together to give that orange glow before it disappeared into darkness. Justin felt completely happy at that moment, thinking how perfect this moment is, it gave him hope for the future, a future with them hopefully together, somehow.

They arrived at the restaurant, which was really a hole in the wall, but the setting inside felt intimate. Justin loved it all, the amazing colors, the traditional paintings that adorned the walls; it all gave off a perfect picture of an Italian bistro in Tuscany or Rome.

They sat at a table for two and waited for the waiter to take their orders, it wasn't crowded so their orders were taken quickly and in no time they were eating. Justin got Pasta alla Carbonara and Brian got Acqua Pazza, they ate mostly in silence making a comment on how great the food was occasionally, then they got the dessert to go and left for the loft.

On the way back, Brian held his hand again, while he told him about a client he once took to the same restaurant that ended up choking on the food there. He described how they tried to save him and failed miserably.

"You know you always hear of the Heimlich maneuver, but you never actually learn it, and it seemed that no one could do it right." Brian said thoughtfully, and resumed telling the story.

The owner was panicking thinking the man would die and everyone kept giving their opinions on what to do, while the man turned blue. Luckily the ambulance arrived just in time. Justin was laughing at all of this, while feeling kind of sorry for the guy, but it really was funny.

"Do you have any plans for tomorrow night?" Brian asked nonchalantly, he hoped. They were still walking, taking their time, not wanting to end their walk. There was a cool breeze, the night had fallen, enveloping them in its darkness, seemingly creating a world of their own where no one existed but the two of them.

"No...Why?" Justin asked, confused.

"In that case you're invited to the family dinner tomorrow night at Deb's, wear something pretty." Brian said smiling smarmily.

"But I thought you wanted to wait?" Justin felt panicked; he wasn't ready to meet _the family_ yet.

"The guys saw us yesterday and they figured we were fucking, so there is no reason to hide anymore."

"And you're fine with it?"

"Yeah, it's better this way; we don't have to tell them since they already know."

Justin nodded, a faint smile grazing his lips.

When they arrived at Brian's building it was after 8, they began kissing in the elevator. They were so caught up in their passion for each other they didn't get out of it when it reached their floor. All of a sudden the gate was lifted; they broke the kiss to look, only to find Michael glaring at them.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary: Best friends and their meddling…**

**Beta: JustBeAQueen**

**All I Want Is For You To Want Me**

**Chapter 14**

Michael was worried about Brian; thinking he must have lost his mind, he decided to go to the loft to check up on him and see for himself if that blond slut was still there. He arrived at 7pm to an empty loft and sat waiting, getting angrier by the minute. He tried calling Brian but seems he left his cell phone at the loft. While he waited he did some snooping around, first he searched the kitchen, opening the fridge he saw something that shocked him, there was food in it, like food you can eat, what happened to Brian?

He heard the elevator arrive so he waited for Brian... and waited... but nothing happened, so he went to see what happened to him. He found him devouring the blond, the blond was pinned to the wall while Brian ravished his mouth still in the elevator, he stood there looking at the two of them, feeling jealousy bubble up inside him, he was also turned on by the erotic display but he would never admit to it. His patience wore off after standing there for five minutes with them practically fucking in front of him so he lifted the gate to make his presence known and glared at the two of them for an added effect. He hoped Brian's reaction to him being there was to push the blond away, but he was disappointed when Brian pulled him closer instead.

Brian was lost in the amazing place that was Justin's mouth when he heard the gate being pulled up; he knew without looking that it was Michael. He felt Justin tense up against him so he moved his right hand to the small of Justin's back and rubbed in a soothing manner, he knew Justin still had a headache and he felt his stress when he told him about the family dinner, add to that the stress of dealing with Michael, Brian was sure that Justin's headache will come back full force.

Justin really didn't want to deal with this person right now. Brian moved them so they were facing Michael and then they walked out of the elevator with Brian's arm around Justin's shoulder protectively, but before anyone could say anything a loud voice was heard.

"Justin!" he turned around to see his best friend glaring at him from the top of the stairs. Justin didn't dare say anything fearing Daphne's reaction; he knew she had a right to be angry after ignoring her for the past two days and never answering his phone, so he readied himself for the lecture he's about to get.

"Where the fuck were you? I called you, I left messages. I went to your apartment but nothing, how could you do this to me? I'm your freakin best friend!"

"Sorry?" Justin asked, drawing closer to Brian, yep, Daphne had a fiery temper and she wasn't beyond hitting him.

"Sorry, you're sorry? That's not enough!" She raved, already the making of a rant bubbling inside of her.

"What do you want me to say? You always have to know everything! Why can't I have a little time just for me, I'm not a child!" Now Justin snapped, the headache adding to his temper.

"You sure act like one!" Daphne ranted back, and it begun, Justin and Daphne kept yelling at each other for five minutes, till they reached a mutual agreement

"I guess it was wrong for me to ignore you, sorry for making you worry." Justin said apologetically.

"That's okay, I'm being overprotective, again." She said sheepishly, Justin arched his eyebrow at the understatement. They hugged each other then, Brian and Michael stood there watching the drama unfold in fascination. This was probably the most fucked up or the healthiest relationship ever.

"Justin, introductions." Daphne nudged him, looking at the two strangers.

"This is Brian, and this is Michael," he pointed them to Daphne before saying, "this is my best friend Daphne." They waved their hellos; Daphne looked closely at Brian, he looked vaguely familiar, but she couldn't remember where she saw him before.

They entered the loft, Justin went to set the dessert on the kitchen counter and Brian followed him, leaving Michael and Daphne in the living room area looking awkwardly out of place. Justin turned around when he felt Brian behind him; he had a worried look on his face. He didn't know what's going to happen now that Michael is here.

"Are you feeling alright?" Brian asked, brushing the hair that had fallen into his eyes, "how's your headache?"

"It's not that bad, you should go talk to him though… he's staring at us." Justin said in a hushed voice, not wanting Michael to hear them. Daphne was looking around the loft awed by what she saw...

She looked at the both of them, seeing how comfortable they were with each other, which made her relax a little. It had been a long time since she saw Justin involved with someone, and even then she didn't know the full details of it, he was so secretive about it; saying only bits and pieces, never mentioning who he was involved with.

She joined them in the kitchen wanting to break the silence.

"So what's this?" she asked pointing to the take out bag.

"We went to an Italian restaurant for dinner, the food was amazing! This is dessert, we got Canolli, you have to taste it; it melts in your mouth." Justin moved away from Brian to start serving the dessert, Brian helped him with setting the plates, and watched as Justin's face lit up while he talked to Daphne about what they did earlier. He knew Michael was listening to every word, but he didn't have the heart to stop Justin from saying all of this, maybe Michael would get it on his own.

"Michael, want to join us?" Brian said, and Michael walked reluctantly to the kitchen where Justin served the dessert, it was delicious and they enjoyed it. Brian being the predictable asshole told Justin that there's no way he was going to eat any of it, but Justin planned on feeding him some, so he took a piece and bit into it before moving it to Brian's mouth, licking his lips while he moved it closer. Brian stared at him then moved to kiss him, tasting the dessert on Justin's tongue was more delicious.

Daphne giggled, loving what she saw, while Michael frowned not believing how Brian was behaving. Brian and Justin continued with what they were doing, Justin eating a bite and then sharing it with Brian. After finishing the dessert they all headed to the living area, except Justin who stayed in the kitchen to make coffee, Michael frowning at how the blond seemed right at home. They sat in silence with Michael looking at Brian with a mixture of hurt and confusion and Brian looking everywhere but Michael's direction while Daphne stared at the scene before her.

:::::

Justin joined them with the coffee, handing everyone a cup, before sitting beside Brian, Brian put his arm around Justin's shoulder pulling him closer. Daphne was sitting to their left while Michal sat to their right, opposite them.

"Are you a couple now?" Michael asked with a disgusted look on his face.

Brian finally looked at his best friend, seeing the look he was giving him.

"Yes, we are; in a non-defined, non-conventional way. " Justin looked at Brian surprised by his answer, he didn't expect it. He smiled at Brian; Brian looked at him, smiled back at him and kissed him lightly. The entire exchange not lost on their best friends.

"Brian, can I talk to you alone?" asked Michael, sounding like the ever petulant child that he was. Justin gave Daphne a look and stood up asking if anyone wants more coffee. Daphne, understanding the look he gave her, nodded and followed him to the kitchen, leaving them alone.

"What the fuck was that?" Michael asked, looking frustrated.

"I think I answered you already, Mikey." Brian said, lighting a cigarette.

"How do you know if he really wants you; that he's not using you?" Michael asked, trying another tactic.

"I guess this is my problem to worry about not yours." Brian shrugged, not wanting to say anything else.

::::::

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Justin and Daphne were talking quietly. Justin kept glancing back to see what's going on.

"So did my plan work?" Justin gave her a withering look before he proceeded to tell her what happened.

"And?"

"What?"

"What about the sex part?"

"You have a dirty mind Daphne," Daphne gave him a look that said _'and your point is?'_ so Justin shrugged before replying "I'll tell you later."

"How did you know where to find me?" Justin asked.

"I asked Andrew." Daphne shrugged, like that should explain everything.

"How did Andrew know?" Justin asked, giving her a bewildered look.

"I asked him that, he said: _'everyone knows where Brian fucking Kinney lives'_ whatever that meant," but Justin knew exactly what it meant, he didn't want to think about Brian's status on Liberty Avenue. It's too early to start thinking about how it would affect their relationship, when they have just started. Everything will be discussed in its time, there is no rush.

He saw Michael get up, he heard him say, "I hope you know what you're getting into," giving Brian a look that spoke volumes and leaving. Justin frowned, he didn't know what he meant by that.

"I should leave, my boyfriend is waiting for me," she said her goodbye and left.

Justin stayed in the kitchen cleaning up, even though it was spotless, he decided to give Brian some space and thought it would be a good idea to return to his apartment for the night, but when Brian walked behind him, hugged him from behind and kissed his cheek Justin never wanted to leave. Ever.

::::::

Sunday night:

They stopped by at Justin's apartment so he could change, while there Brian looked around the place, not venturing into rest of the apartment, he saw the art work that filled the walls, Justin was an amazing artist. He moved around, and looked in the direction of the bedroom where Justin stood naked, searching for clothes, he raised his left eyebrow, saw that it was 5:30, so they will be a little late. Big deal.

::::

He turned Justin around to face him, kissed him quickly then started to walk him backward in the direction of the bed. Justin tried protesting saying that he didn't want to be late, that it wouldn't be a good first impression, making Brian laugh in amusement.

"What first impression? They already met you." Brian drawled, ridding Justin of the rest of his clothes.

"Yeah, but not as your…" Justin didn't get to finish, Brian kissed him and snaked his hand to grasp Justin's erection.

::::::

They were on the way to Deb's, already late, when Justin spoke, suddenly remembering:

"Brian, would you stop at that bakery near the loft?"

"Why?" Brian gave him a confused look.

"We can't go there with empty hands; we have to get them something." Justin ever the wasp.

"There will be plenty of food, no need to bring anything," Brian said dismissively, but at Justin's pout Brian cursed and turned the car to go get the damn dessert; not believing the power the blond had over him. They parked the car and went inside the bakery. Brian knew this would happen; Justin took 15 minutes to decide what to get.

Brian bitched that they will be late; Justin gave him an incredulous look.

"You're the one who can't keep his hands to himself." Justin bitched back. Brian looked at him, giving him an annoyed look.

"Not my fault you're so damn hot." Brian looked sideways to see Justin's eyes had glazed over and had a very sexy smile on his face. Justin reached to touch Brian's arm, setting it on Brian's lap. Brian took hold of his hand and moved it away.

"Can't you keep your hands to yourself; we're going to be late." Brian said smugly.

"Fuck you." Justin responded, trying to suppress a laugh, swatting Brian's arm before sulking back into his seat.

::::

They arrived after 7, the dinner had already started.

Justin exited the car first, making his way to the front door, Brian walked behind him, grabbing his arm and spinning him around. He planted a kiss on Justin's lips. Justin tried to resist, but as always, resistance was futile.

They parted from the kiss and smiled, walking together to the door.

Justin wanted to ring the bell, but Brian stopped him and opened the door for him to go inside. Justin went first but stopped in his tracks when he heard his name being mentioned. Brian saw him stop walking and touched his arm, silently asking why he stopped; then he heard what was being said and knew exactly why.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary: Sunday dinner at Deb's.**

**Beta: JustBeAQueen.**

**All I Want Is For You To Want Me**

**Chapter 15**

"You should have seen the way they acted. Can you believe this? Brian being tamed by a blond boy ass." Michael said, looking at everyone to see their reaction for what he said about his encounter with them yesterday, of course his version to what happened, which was _'__I__found__them__fucking__in__the__elevator,__that__blond__is__evil,__there__is__something__wrong__with__Brian.__'_

"I hope Justin knows what he's getting himself into." Debbie said, shaking her head.

"Mom, what about Brian? He's the one risking his business, Justin could really be dangerous!" Ted chocked on his drink when he heard that.

"How did you figure that out?" Ted asked after getting his coughing under control.

"Remember what happened with the Kip situation?"

"Yeah, but that was a long time ago, Brian proved he was innocent, there wasn't any damage to his reputation or his career." Ted said; wanting to stop his friend from saying anything more.

"But Michael has a point, how can we be sure he's not just doing it to get ahead? And what about Brian, does he really want to be tied down with this kid?" Lindsay said, not believing what she heard about Brian, after all this time his choice for a partner would be this.

"Well, I think it's great. Brian finally has someone, and Justin is a sweetheart, they make a hot couple if I might add." Emmet chirped in; not wanting to be left out.

"I give it two weeks." Melanie said, grinning.

::::

Justin turned to face Brian, his face a mixture of anger and embarrassment. Brian lifted his face so he could look him directly in the eye, and shook his head, telling him silently not to believe anything he heard. He kissed him softly before taking his hand and moving in the direction of the kitchen, Justin tried to protest, suddenly so unsure of himself, those people will think anything they wanted and he didn't know how to change their opinion, but Brian didn't give him a choice; he dragged him along with him.

Brian stopped at the entrance waiting for his presence to be known. Justin hid behind Brian, not wanting to face them. David noticed him first, bored of the talk; he was looking away from Michael who was still telling the gang about his encounter with Brian and Justin the night before, he nudged Michael to get his attention but Michael wasn't responding, deep in conversation with Lindsay. Emmet noticed the interaction and looked to where David was looking and gulped, seeing the lethal look on Brian's face was enough to scare anyone, he tried to smile at Brian, but Brian shot him down with a look, then Ted saw him, he wrapped his arm around Blake and waited for the show to begin.

"How lovely! What's everyone gossiping about this fine evening?" Brian asked, finally making his presence known, Michael squealed like a girl startled by Brian's voice, while Lindsay's head shot up, a surprised look on her face, and Melanie threw an irritated look in Brian's direction. Vic smiled at Brian and Debbie frowned at the interruption.

"Hey asshole, we didn't think you're coming." Deb said, to break the awkwardness of the situation. Brian looked at her, gave her a knowing look before turning around to take Justin's hand, he turned Justin to face the group.

"Everyone, I would like to introduce my boyfriend: Justin Taylor." Then he kissed him a deep wet kiss that made Justin forget where he was. Everyone was stunned into silence by that declaration; Brian willingly admitted he had a boyfriend? The world is coming to an end!

"Shit, they are gonna do it right here." Debbie joked earning a few laughs. They parted from the kiss, breathing hard against each other; Justin's face flushed from the amazing kiss, then Brian tugged at his arm, indicating for him to follow

"This is from Justin," he handed the dessert to Debbie

"Thank you, Justin," Debbie said, Justin nodded and moved to follow Brian around the table, there was an empty chair next to Emmet and a one next to David, so Brian moved the chair next to David closer to the other one. They had to move the chairs around to fit; Justin looked pleased by the effort Brian was making to make him feel welcomed.

::::::

"So Justin, I hear you went to PIFA?" Lindsay asked, to break the silence and also hoping Brian would forget what they said if they were nice to Justin. Brian and Justin were talking quietly when she interrupted them, Brian was telling Justin about the dirty things he was going to do to him, causing Justin's face to blush and his dick to harden, so Justin was startled by her question.

"Yeah," he answered shortly, giving her a small smile.

"That's a good school," she said not having anything else to add, Justin nodded again before looking back at Brian giving him a bemused look.

"This is really good." Justin said, complementing Debbie on the food and she smiled at him in response.

"See you at Babylon tonight, Brian?" Ted asked. Brian looked at Justin to see what he wanted, at Justin's nod he said "Sure."

Of course everyone was watching them, none of them believing what they saw. Brian Kinney has sure changed and in so little time; they didn't know that it took him nearly five years to reach a stage in his life where he no longer cared what anyone thought except a blond smartass with sparkling blue eyes and a beautiful smile.

After dinner, which was filled with tension, they moved to the living room. Debbie served the dessert Justin brought; saying how thoughtful of him and Justin gave Brian a smug look that said "_I__told__you__so__"_ to which Brian just shrugged and kissed him. Justin wished Gus was there so he would have a distraction but then thought about earlier and how they were talking about him and Brian; it was a good thing he wasn't there.

Justin talked to Blake and Ted most of the time, avoiding any contact with Michael. Lindsay kept trying to talk to him but after a while she gave up all pretence.

"How about we get out of here?" Brian whispered in his ear, Justin smiled at him before nodding, grateful that this dinner was over.

"It's been grand, but unfortunately we have to leave," he stood up, pulling Justin with him, Ted reminded them of their plans to hit Babylon. Brian responded with a maybe.

:::::

"Finally!" Justin exclaimed once they made it to the car, relieved that the dinner was over.

"That bad, huh?" Brian said chuckling, he too was relieved it was over, he never thought a dinner with the family could be this stressful.

"Are you hungry?" Brian asked, on their way back to the loft.

"Yeah, how did you know?" Justin asked, feeling embarrassed.

"You hardly touched your plate." Justin was so nervous, he couldn't eat more than a bite or two, "what do you feel like?" Justin was about to say something when Brian interrupted him, "no, you can't have pizza."

"Well, you asked! How about Chinese?" Brian nodded and gave Justin his cell phone to put the order. After he finished ordering Justin looked at Brian giving him a strange look before saying "You have the number of the restaurant on your speed dial?"

Brian ignored the comment, thinking it was best not to reply, no matter what his answer would be, he will get severely mocked. Justin smirked at him knowing what Brian was doing.

"What time do we have to be at Babylon?"

"Around 10. Why? Have other plans?"

"No, just checking to see if I have time to do this," Justin moved his hand to Brian's crotch and rubbed making Brian hard then stopped. Brian looked at him like he was crazy for stopping.

"I don't want to get us killed," Justin explained, so Brian parked the car then moved Justin's hand to his crotch before demanding, "blow me," Justin shivered at Brian's commanding voice and moved to do as he was told.

::::

They were eating, sitting on the floor next to each other; Justin kept stealing food from Brian, when he stole the last piece of chicken Brian exclaimed:

"Hey! I wanted to eat that."

"Too bad, it tasted yummy." Brian glared at him before moving to swat his ass, Justin squealed and ran away, Brian chased him throughout the loft, finally cornering him in the bedroom, he pinned him to the bed, with Justin protesting that he cheated.

"And how did I manage to do that?" Brian drawled, he was on top of Justin now, rubbing against him while working to get rid of his clothes.

"You totally have your height as an advantage, it's not fair!" Justin mock pouted, earning him another spank from Brian.

"So is stealing food."

"I stole one lousy piece of chicken!"

"But you said it was yummy!" Brian teased then he began stroking Justin making him forget about everything else.

"What about Babylon?" Justin asked regaining some of his senses.

"Forget Babylon."


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary: A day outside the office…**

**Beta: JustBeAQueen**

**All I Want Is For You To Want Me**

**Chapter 16**

Justin was sitting up in bed watching Brian as he slept. He woke up half an hour ago, went to the bathroom and returned unable to go back to sleep. There was something familiar with this scene, like he had done this before, he had the image of himself sitting exactly like this only he was sketching Brian, gliding the charcoal across the page to create a portrait of Brian sleeping in the same position. This happened to him a lot since he and Brian started seeing each other, an image would pop into his mind, a scene of him and Brian, but they look so different in those images, and every time it happened he would get a headache, he decided if this continued, he would go see his doctor.

Brian stirred next to him, so Justin slid down Brian's body. He held Brian's morning wood and began stroking slowly while he massaged his balls, he kissed his inner thighs electing a moan from Brian who must have woken up. He felt Brian's hand caressing his hair, directing him to his cock, Justin obliged, moving to suck on the head before deep-throating him, Brian was lost then, the pleasure so intense.

He slid up Brian's body, giving him a deep kiss; letting him taste himself. They stayed in this position for a long moment; kissing and fondling each other until Justin remembered they had work, so he tried to push away from Brian but Brian wouldn't let him get away.

"Brian we have to get ready or we'll be late." Brian moved down his body, licking his way to Justin's dick, swallowing him without giving Justin a chance to protest.

:::::

Justin was running all over the place trying to get ready without hurting himself in the process, glaring at Brian and mumbling curses. Brian watched the whole scene in amusement, thinking how cute Justin looked, and then he felt disgusted with himself for even thinking the word cute and replaced it with hot.

"Justin!" Brian shouted to get his attention; Justin whirled around and glared at him.

"What? It's your fault we'll be late!" Justin pouted.

"We're not gonna be late." Brian said calmly, trying to control the smile that threatened to split his face at the sight of Justin pouting.

"And what makes you so sure we're not?"

"We have this meeting with the Anderson people, did you forget?" Brian said smirking, Justin looked at him with wide eyes, then made his way across the loft to where Brian was sitting sipping his coffee he punched him lightly on the arm.

"You asshole, why did you let me have a mini fit if you knew that!" He was standing in front of Brian now. Brian sat the coffee mug on the kitchen counter and looked up at him, he had a mischievous smile that alarmed Justin; he found himself soon after that spread across the counter, naked with Brian fucking him so thoroughly he didn't have any coherent thought.

::::::

"So, how long is the meeting going to last?" Justin asked looking out the window of the 'vette. They were on their way to the hotel in which the meeting was held.

"An hour maybe..." he was cut off by the ringing of Justin's phone. Justin looked at the ID, he saw it was Molly so he answered with a smile on his face that quickly vanished when he heard her say,_ "__please__don__'__t__kill__me,__"_ followed by his mother's voice demanding to know why he was avoiding her for the past two weeks, Justin was angered by his mother's sneaky way for getting hold of him but he didn't dare say anything because he was indeed avoiding her.

Brian glanced at Justin, saw the look of complete horror on his face and wondered what was causing it, when he heard Justin say, _"__mom,__"_ he chuckled in understanding.

"Mom, it's not what you think, you know..." Justin began.

"I know that my son hasn't answered my calls for the past two weeks, I know that I raised him to be a little more considerate and not have me worry about him."

"I'm sorry mom. I got busy with work and you know how it is..."

"When did you plan to introduce me to the boyfriend, I'm your mother, I deserve to know from _you_ that you have a boyfriend and not from Daphne!" he heard Brian laughing and he motioned for him to stop; looking terrified that his mother would hear Brian which caused Brian to laugh harder.

"So now you're checking up on me?" sounding indignant, he shut up immediately however when he heard how angered his mother was.

"You are my son, I have the right to know how you are and what you are doing!" he could hear Molly snickering in the background and he added her to his black list alongside Daphne.

"Sorry mom..." he blushed a little when he felt Brian's gaze on him; it was so embarrassing!

"I'm expecting you and your boyfriend for dinner next week," and she hung up on him before he could protest.

Justin stayed quiet for a few minutes; Brian kept glancing at him wondering what's wrong, when he had enough of the silence he asked.

"What's wrong?" Brian asked, Justin hesitated before replying.

"My mother invited us to dinner," he said it quietly not sure what Brian's reaction would be, Brian stayed silent for a minute before asking.

"And when is this lovely dinner held?" Justin looked up so fast his neck hurt.

"You're really going?"

"Why not? After all, you suffered my family's dinner from hell; it's only fair that I go." Justin smiled at him before kissing his cheek making Brian feel all warm inside.

"Get out."

"What?" Justin asked looking confused.

"We're here." Brian said giving him a smirk, Justin didn't realize the car had stopped moving, he smiled a little and got out. They headed inside for the meeting.

::::::

Justin sat in the car vibrating with excitement; Brian looked at him smiling a little when he saw the expression on Justin's face. They just finished the meeting and Justin was excited about the art show, they explained that there would be well known artists attending the event.

Justin's excitement reminded Brian of how passionate Justin was about his art, his apartment was full of amazing paintings; Brian felt guilty for constricting Justin with the job he has, he should work in the art department or an art gallery where he could immerse himself with his art instead of wasting his time being Brian's assistant. Brian planned to do something about that.

::::::

They arrived at the office after lunch which they skipped. Justin found out that Brian arranged for an intern to take the calls while they were gone. He gave Brian a sweet smile and went to work.

Between client meetings, staff meetings and working on campaign presentations they didn't have any alone time until the end of the work day.

At 6 o'clock Justin entered Brian's office, he shut the door then turned around giving Brian a small smile before walking to Brian and giving him a sweet kiss.

"Hey." Justin whispered

"Hey." Brian greeted back.

"Ready to leave?" Justin asked before giving him another kiss, Brian nodded and started gathering the work he wanted to take home.

:::::

After having dinner, Justin collected their plates and headed for the kitchen while Brian sat on the sofa watching TV and sipping his beer. All of a sudden the TV was turned off, and a seductive melody flooded the loft. Brian looked around and spotted Justin walking in his direction.

Justin climbed gracefully on the coffee table in front of him and started swaying his hips in a sensual way; he wasn't wearing anything except his black underwear. Brian started stroking himself at the sight of Justin swaying and moving in a sinfully hot way, he moaned as Justin removed his underwear and threw it in his direction, then his moves started to get more erotic, arousing Brian more. He reached a point where he couldn't take it any longer; he moaned Justin's name urging him to come closer, and Justin obliged walking slowly towards Brian. He helped Brian in getting rid of his clothes then he sat on Brian's lap rubbing his butt on Brian's dick while opening the condom.

Looking directly into Brian's eyes he slid the condom on Brian's dick then moved his fingers to his mouth sucking on the digits and wetting them so he could open himself for Brian, they kissed while Justin opened himself, moaning into Brian's mouth, then he moved and impaled himself on Brian's dick. The pace was slow and deliciously torturous. The only sound that could be heard throughout the loft was their moans as they made love.

For the first time in his life Justin experienced an orgasm without touching himself, it was the most intense pleasure he ever felt. After climaxing they stayed in the same position, panting with Brian hugging Justin and Justin's arms around his neck pulling him closer.

The moment was interrupted by the loud sound of the door of the loft being rolled open. Justin tensed, and a blush spread across his chest. Brian looked around to see his two best friends standing at the door, frozen.

"Turn the fuck around!" he shouted at them feeling Justin shake against him. Justin quickly got up and headed for the bedroom, Brian close behind him blocking his friends view of Justin's ass. In the bedroom Justin started dressing in a t-shirt and sweatpants he brought with him for when he stayed over.

"Look Justin..."

"There is nothing you could have done to stop this from happening," Justin said in an abnormally calm voice. Brian gave him an apologetic look and turned around to see what his friends wanted.

"Wear some fucking pants!" Justin said with an edge in his voice and threw sweatpants at him before disappearing into the bathroom to take a shower. Brian got dressed and headed out to see what the fuck his friends were thinking.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary: A confrontation and a declaration…**

**Beta: JustBeAQueen.**

**All I Want Is For You To Want Me**

**Chapter 17**

Justin quickly headed for the bathroom and closed the door, he stood there breathing hard. He felt so angry he was shaking. He paced the narrow space and then started brushing his teeth with the extra tooth brush he had there, after he finished he decided to take a shower, he looked at what he was wearing and shook his head in annoyance; he didn't know why he got dressed if he was going to take a shower, he just felt so exposed at the time that he needed to cover himself. He shed his clothes and got in the shower. Turning on the cold water so it would cool off his anger he let himself get lost in the sound of the water around him blocking the sounds coming from outside.

Meanwhile in the living room:

Brian found his two best friends sitting in the living room away from the sofa they were fucking on.

"So now you don't knock anymore?" he said it in a cutting tone that made the both of them flinch.

"We tried calling you but you didn't answer." Lindsay explained while her eyes darted in the direction of the bedroom trying to see if Justin was there.

"Well when someone doesn't answer the phone it usually means they are busy doing something important," Brian said glaring at the both of them for an added effect.

"Or doing someone..." Michael said laughing at his own joke, Brian looked at him, gave him a smirk before saying:

"You're right… doing someone more important," which wiped the amusement out of Michael's face and replaced it with a scowl.

"But why were you avoiding us for the past week, you wouldn't return our calls. We got worried about you," giving him the look she always did when she wanted to make him feel guilty. Brian looked at her knowing exactly what she is doing and shook his head in disbelief.

"You know, when someone is starting a new relationship they need some alone time together with their partner to figure out their new relationship without the influence of other people." He said it in a mocking condescending voice that had the exact effect he wanted on the both of them. Lindsay looked like she swallowed a bug at his words understanding that he was throwing her own words back at her face, she remembered saying those words when she started seeing Melanie.

"But you can't..." she didn't finish the sentence thinking better of it; she didn't want to anger Brian any further.

"Can't what?" Brian asked, he had an idea but wanted to confirm it.

Of course Michael being Debbie's son, doesn't know when to shut up so he exclaimed:

"You can't compare your relationship or whatever the fuck you do with this kid with ours!" Brian felt hurt at those words; he had a lethal look on his face when he asked, "And why is that?" his voice was calm and if they knew better they would be heading out right now.

"All you do is fucking; whenever I see the two of you, you are fucking. What do you have in common with this kid? What do you talk about? He's your office fuck toy, nothing more, and you are trying to convince us that you have a relationship? You're not even monogamous!" whined his best friend.

"And how did you know all of this?" he asked not looking at his friends.

"Come on Brian, we've known each other for how many years? I'm your best friend: I know you and I know that you'll never be in a monogamous relationship and whatever you have with this kid is not a relationship no matter what you say. It'll never work out in the end. Do you even like the kid?" Brian burst out laughing at that, Michael and Lindsay looked at him like he had grown a second head or something, then his laughing subsided.

"This is the most ridiculous thing you have ever said!"

Looking at the both of them and giving them a fake smile he said, "I'm only gonna say this once, so listen up. First, my relationship with Justin, his name is Justin by the way not 'the kid', is none of your business; whatever goes on between the two of us has nothing to do with the both of you. Second, about the monogamy bullshit…" he shook his head chuckling.

"Can you two look me in the eye and tell me that you and your partner have been completely faithful to each other?" he gave them a knowing look. When his question was met with silence he continued.

"Exactly! So don't come here spouting all this bullshit about monogamy when you can't stick to it; that's just hypocrisy," he moved to the drink cart and poured himself a drink, not offering his friends any, he wasn't feeling particularly hospitable this evening.

He took a sip of his drink and then said calmly without any trace of humor in his voice, "I don't like Justin."

Michael got a smug look on his face that crumpled by Brian's next words.

"I'm in love with him."

The silence was deafening in the room. Brian had admitted to himself that he was indeed in love with Justin a long time ago but it was the first time he ever said it out loud which made it more real, he smiled a little thinking how much he changed and what Justin's reaction would be if he heard this. If hearing the word 'boyfriend' made him all sappy and dreamy, Brian didn't know what his reaction would be to hearing this.

"Look, my partner is waiting for me in the shower so if you don't have anything else to say," and he motioned for the door so they could get the message. They headed for the door; they were so shocked they were speechless.

"And one more thing, I assume since the door was locked that you used your keys to get in; your emergency keys that I specifically told you not to use unless it was necessary; make sure it doesn't happen again."

They nodded and left and Brian made a mental note to change the locks and alarm code.

Brian headed for the bathroom to see what happened to Justin. He opened the door to the sight of a wet Justin in the shower, his head was turned up facing the water, and the stress he was feeling was visible. Brian got out of his sweatpants and tossed it aside; he entered the shower and stood behind Justin and wrapped his arms around him from behind. The water was cold so he turned up the heat while whispering, "Why so cold?"

Justin shrugged and didn't say anything, he felt the heat turn up and relaxed against Brian; his head on Brian's shoulder, Brian's arms caressing his chest. He turned in Brian's arms and looked at the man he loved, he knew from the expression on Brian's face that the man felt guilty for what happened.

"Brian..." he whispered but didn't know what else to say so he got on his tiptoes and gave Brian a tender kiss, he pulled from the kiss and looked at Brian, he felt Brian pull him into a hug and buried his face in Brian's neck feeling better by the man's actions. They didn't do anything sexual in the shower they just held each other for a while.

After finishing the shower they dried off and got dressed in comfortable clothing. Brian pretended to be occupied with work while watching Justin as he sat on the sofa watching TV; he looked lost in thoughts not really paying any attention to what he was watching.

Justin was startled out of his musings by the click of the camera; he looked in the direction of the sound and found Brian holding a camera and heading in his direction.

"What are you doing?" Justin asked a little smile playing on his lips which was why Brian was doing this in the first place. He wanted Justin to feel better and this is what he came up with. Brian took another picture as he moved closer to Justin, Justin blushed and tried to hide his face so Brian moved faster and took another picture and another until Justin started giggling. Justin got up from the sofa trying to escape Brian.

"Brian! Stop!" he said between fits of laughter, he hid behind a beam moving left and right to see what Brian was doing and Brian took a picture every time he peaked at him, then Brian moved in his direction so he moved in the direction of the bedroom where there wasn't great lighting. Brian followed him of course and continued to take pictures of him. Justin couldn't contain his laughter anymore so he flopped on the bed laughing. Brian turned the blue lights above the bed on, smiling at Justin before taking more photos; Justin looked breathtaking especially under the blue lights so he sat on the bed taking a close up shots of Justin's face.

After his laughing subsided Justin looked up at Brian who stopped taking pictures and was now staring at him. Brian was sitting up in bed while Justin lay beside him, he moved his hand to play with Justin's fair hair, Justin took a hold of his hand and moved it to his mouth, and he kissed it before he tugged on it so Brian lay beside him. Brian propped himself up on his left elbow and leaned down to give Justin a kiss that quickly turned into a hot make out session when they parted from the kiss Justin looked at Brian's face and said, "I love you." He then hugged Brian to him; he didn't want to see the look on Brian's face feeling shy all of a sudden.

Brian hugged him back feeling that warm sensation engulf his heart at those three words. It wasn't the first time he heard them from Justin, but the look on Justin's face when he said it was so full of hope and trust, a trust he doesn't deserve because of all the things he was hiding from Justin that he will never willingly confess due to his fear of what Justin's reaction might be.

:::::::

On Wednesday Brian called Justin to his office. Justin entered the office wondering what Brian wanted.

"You wanted to see me Mr. Kinney?" Justin said in a teasing voice that earned him a smirk from Brian.

"Do you have your keys to the loft?" Justin nodded.

"Could you hand them over?" Justin nodded unable to make any verbal response to that, so Brian was taking his keys? He went out to his desk and searched his messenger bag for them. He returned to the office and sat the keys on the desk in front of Brian who nodded and searched his pockets for the other set of keys.

"Here," he got up from his desk and moved around it to stand directly in front of Justin, he handed the new set of keys to Justin who gave him a confused look.

"What are these?"

"The new keys to the loft." Brian answered giving him a 'duh' look. Justin tried to play it cool, he really tried but then the smile on his face grew into a grin and he threw himself to Brian kissing him hard.

When they parted from the kiss Brian smiled at him and then said:

"Did I mention there are just two copies?"

Justin got that dreamy look on his face and then continued kissing him. _'__That__was__a__good__decision,__'_ Brian thought as Justin slid down his body to give him a mind blowing blow job.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary: Daphne discovers a secret…**

**Beta: JustBeAQueen.**

**All I Want Is For You To Want Me**

**Chapter 18**

Daphne trudged up the stairs leading to her parent's house grumbling to herself about how it was unfair that her parents were going to turn her bedroom into a gym, she had a sulk on her face when her mother opened the door and greeted her a little too cheerily for 9 am in the morning on Saturday.

"Don't frown my dear or you'll get wrinkles." Mrs. Chandlers said and turned around to go upstairs motioning for Daphne to follow her while Daphne made faces behind her back.

When they arrived at the room, Daphne gasped a little too dramatically at the sight of her things in boxes waiting for her; she sent her mother a glare that her mother shrugged off.

"You know we have to do this honey, your father needs to exercise and you know he'll never go to a gym so this is the best solution. It doesn't matter anyway since you're sharing an apartment with your new boyfriend whom you never told me about," she gave her a knowing look and turned around to head for the kitchen.

Daphne looked around her room seeing the changes that were made already and remembering all the happy memories she had there. She sat on her bed and opened one of the boxes. She found her high school senior year book. She leafed through it seeing glimpses of the past until she stumbled upon a picture of the prom and she closed the book quickly not wanting to remember all the pain that was caused that night. She returned the book to the box and opened another.

"Huh..." the box contained a school bag that she vaguely remembered Justin having one just like it, then she looked closely at the drawings on the bag and came to the conclusion that it was indeed Justin's bag that he forgot at prom night when he came to pick her up. She stared at it for five minutes before opening it. She found a sketch book and some pencils, she opened the sketch book and her eyes fill with tears at the image of her young self, she turned the page to see a drawing of the football field, when she reached the last sketch she gasped, surprised at what she saw, there on the paper looking back at her was none other than Brian Kinney.

She stared at the image in front of her for what felt like a life time then she flipped through the pages in search of the page that had 'Brian' written all over it, she couldn't believe she missed what was in front of her eyes.

She shook her head trying to make sense of all of this. She decided to put everything aside for now and collect her things, she'll find an answer later, now she needed to get her things and leave her parents house.

It was four in the afternoon when she finally sat in her apartment, a glass of wine in one hand and the sketch book in the other; she kept going through the pictures in it lingering just a little bit longer on the portrait of Brian. All she could figure out so far was that Brian was Justin's mystery man who kept seeing him the entire two weeks leading to the prom. What she didn't understand was what Brian was doing with Justin and why didn't he tell him about their past, because if she was sure of one thing it was that Justin doesn't know who Brian was to him. Justin will surely tell her, wouldn't he?

She decided to go see Justin and hopefully understand what his relationship with Brian was really like and that would help her decision in whether she should tell Justin or not. She grabbed her purse, scribbled a note for her boyfriend that she was at Justin's and left.

:::::

Justin was a complete wreck trying to get ready and too nervous to get anything done. She found him half dressed looking for his shoe, his hair was a mess and he was wearing a blue sock on one foot and a black sock on the other. She found it completely hilarious and cracked up when Justin threw his shoe down and grumbled something about evil elves who had hidden his shoe and how he was going to get revenge. She stopped laughing when Justin turned around and gave her his sad/hurt look and she realized how truly stressed he was.

"Justin calm down. You don't have any reason to feel this nervous. Everything is going to be just fine and you'll have a wonderful night," she walked to where he was standing in the middle of his living room and hugged him before slapping him on the butt and ordering him to go fix his hair.

They were sitting on the couch having a beer while Daphne told him about her day and her encounter with her mother, leaving the part where she found his bag and the subsequent discoveries, of course, even though it's killing her inside.

"So how are things with Brian?" she watched as his face lights up and his smile widened, he told her about what happened the last few days, the smile never leaving his face. She looked at her friend realizing that Justin was truly happy for the first time in his life. A frown appeared on her face as she thought about the situation and how complicated it was then about Brian and the reason why he hadn't told Justin about their past. Her thoughts were interrupted with Justin's voice calling her name.

"Sorry, did you say something?"

"Is something wrong? You seem upset."

"Nothing's wrong, I'm fine."

"Come on Daphne, you're hiding something, I can tell."

She tried to come up with a believable excuse but it came as a complete surprise to her as well as Justin when she blurted out.

"I had a fight with Matt."

"Sorry to hear that, and here I was bragging about my relationship with Brian when you are having problems."

"Don't worry about it."

"What was the reason for the fight?" Daphne mentally slapped herself for the lame ass excuse she came up with and quickly thought of a believable reason.

"I think he's cheating on me," the lies came so easily and she cringed inwardly at how lame it sounded.

"That bastard!" Justin looked pissed at this and Daphne felt guilty for lying, "what made you think he's cheating? Did you see him with someone else?"

"I don't want to talk about it so could we drop it for now?"

"Okay, but just because I don't have time right now. Tomorrow we will have a night out just the two of us and you'll tell me everything." She nodded her head while planning how she is going to magically make up with her boyfriend tomorrow.

They heard the lock open and then the sound of the door being opened. Daphne's eyes widened and she looked in panic at Justin who grinned at her.

"Justin someone just opened your door with the key and it wasn't you or me," she hissed at him causing him to laugh lightly.

"You didn't listen to a single word I said, did you?" he shook his head at her before looking up and smiling at Brian who was standing at the entrance of the living room. Justin walked up to him and kissed him lightly on the mouth before pulling away and looking up at him.

"Hey." Justin said in a soft voice.

"Hey." Brian replied smiling down at him, and then he looked at Daphne and greeted her which earned him a silent wave as she observed the scene in front of her.

She got up and gathered her things saying that she had to go and quickly said goodbye and left. When she reached the street she decided to not do anything at all, if Justin was happy she'll never ruin it for him and she also made a mental note to tell her boyfriend to ignore any angry messages he might get from Justin in the next few days.

::::::

"How do I look?" Justin stood in front of Brian wearing an all black tux with a silver tie. Brian was wearing a pinstripe suit with a red tie and a white shirt. He looked stunning.

"Not bad," Brian said and then smirked at him, he noticed that Justin's smile wavered a little, but then he got this knowing look on his face and laughed a little shaking his head at Brian like he had him all figured out.

They left the apartment and reached the street in front of Justin's building. Justin searched for Brian's car but didn't find it so he looked questioningly at Brian who shook his head at him and took his hand, interlacing their fingers together as they stood waiting.

It was five minutes later when a white limo stopped in front of Justin's building, a driver moved around the car to open the door for them. Justin looked impressed by that, he gave Brian a smile before moving to get in the car. Brian followed him looking amused at Justin's reaction.

"You look amazing." Brian whispered in Justin's ear. The car was moving now; Justin looked up at Brian, his face illuminated by the light coming from the street lamps, he smiled at him this big beautiful smile before replying.

"So do you." Justin rested his head on Brian's shoulder, his face tucked against Brian's neck now, reveling in the closeness.

"I missed you today." Brian felt the smile that appeared on Justin's face against his neck and he felt warmth spread through him. He really did miss him today which he thought was kind of pathetic; missing someone so much that it was almost a need for you to see them. Brian never thought he would ever feel this way.

"I missed you too," Justin said, his lips touching Brian's neck as they moved, making Brian shiver.

"What did you miss about me?" Justin whispered in his ear, a hint of mischief in his voice.

"I missed your ass; I was hard all day thinking about it," he felt more than heard Justin giggle so he continued, "did you think about me today?" He felt Justin nodding his head against his neck. "Did you touch yourself thinking about me?"

"Yeah," comes Justin's breathy reply, Brian snaked his hand down to rub Justin's crotch lightly but Justin stopped him immediately.

"Brian, not now," Brian sighed and dropped his hand to the side.

"Okay." Brian grumbled against Justin's cheek, Justin smiled.

"Yeah." Justin replied.

"Why are we whispering?"

"I don't know, it feels appropriate," Justin shrugged and then felt Brian shaking against him laughing, Justin giggled a little.

:::

They sat in silence the rest of the way. Justin felt the heat coming from Brian and he had the urgent need to touch him so he moved his hand and rested it on Brian's thigh and a minute later Brian moved his hand to cover Justin's. Justin had a smile on his face as he looked out of the window watching the scenery pass by.

::::

"We're here," Brian told him seconds before the car stopped. Brian got out first then held his hand for Justin to take and helped him out of the car.

They stood facing each other then Brian lifted Justin's hand to his lips and kissed it lightly making Justin blush a little, not releasing Justin's hand he turned them around to go inside.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary: Brian and Justin' night out, Part 1.**

**Beta: JustBeAQueen.**

**All I Want Is for You to Want Me**

**Chapter 19**

They parted as soon as they walked into the room with a 'later'. Justin headed for the art while Brian headed for his client, discussing the details of the campaign they are launching in the next few months.

Brian would be in the middle of an important conversation with a potential client when his eyes would wander to where Justin was standing talking to one of the artists; he would get lost in his baby blues then he would remember that he was Brian fucking Kinney and that he doesn't do stuff like that and continue his half assed conversation with the client. Sometimes Justin would catch him and send him a playful smile, Brian would smile back and then smirk at him, which would cause the client to feel insulted and leave. After the second time it happened Brian made himself focus on the task at hand which was to attract new clients and in order to do so he forced himself not to look at Justin at all which had proven to be a very difficult task since his eyes would wander of their own accord to where Justin was.

Justin was talking to another fellow PIFA graduate who was attending the show when he noticed Brian glancing his way. He decided to play it cool, but sometimes he couldn't hold back the smile that automatically appeared whenever he caught Brian looking his way, he would smile and nod at him and then divert his attention to anything else.

::::::

Justin was lost in the painting in front of him when a voice startled him from behind; he turned around and came face to face with Richard Smith; one of Pittsburgh's most famous artists.

"So what do you think the painting means?" Justin stared at him not believing he was actually talking to him, it took him 30 seconds to start talking and once he opened his mouth there was no way he was stopping.

"I think the artist wanted to express the loneliness he was feeling at the time, he used colors that are normally chosen to reflect happiness and joy and added dark tones to them as if to say not everything is as it appears. I liked how you used the light techniques to show the glimmer of hope at the corner of the painting Mr. Smith." Justin finished with a bright smile. To say Richard Smith was impressed would be an understatement; no one ever got it as quickly or brilliantly as this young man did.

"I'm in the process of preparing to launch my new art gallery, have you heard anything about it?"

"You're new art gallery that you are planning to establish here in Pittsburgh and having Andrea Nelson as your partner, yeah... a little," Justin tried to say it nonchalantly but it all came out in a rush causing Mr. Smith to chuckle.

Mr. Smith produced a card and handed it to Justin with, "call me," before he turned around to go mingle with the other guests. Justin couldn't believe what just happened; in five minutes all his dreams came true, he let a smile break on his face and looked at the card in his hand.

::::::

"Well if it isn't my long lost friend Justin Taylor! You look so much older," Andrew said wide eyed.

"Andrew ..."said, smiling apologetically.

"He remembers my name! I can't believe it," he said it with as much enthusiasm as he could muster, Justin rolled his eyes before smiling.

"I know I've been a shit lately, I'm sorry," Andrew tapped a finger to his chin, pondering whether or not to forgive him.

"You are forgiven my friend!" Andrew said with a clap on Justin's back, "You look great."

"Thanks, you too."

"Everyone is taking bets about if you and the boss have hooked up." Andrew said conspiratorially, clearly he had one too many drinks.

"What?" Justin looked around in panic as if someone was lurking waiting for him to admit it.

"Don't worry; they've been taking bets since you started working at the company," then he clapped him again on the back and laughed. Justin gave him a blank look before cracking up too.

"I miss our crazy talks." Justin said fondly but then got a serious look on his face; he watched as John Reid approached Brian then watched as he threw himself at Brian. He handed Andrew his glass of wine and headed in their direction ready to stake his claim on his boyfriend. Andrew followed behind him; ready for the show to begin.

::::::

"So? What do you think?" Brian asked as he looked at the man in front of him

"You were right, he's got great potential." Brian nodded motioning for him to continue, "I gave him my card and told him to call me so the ball is in his court now."

"Thanks, I owe you one." Richard waved him off.

"If he was as good as you said then I'm the one who's going to owe you," Richard chuckled, then wandered off to see where his partner has gone off to. Brian shook his head; _artists!__They__are__so__weird._

Brian was talking to Cynthia when he heard the annoying voice; he made a face of disgust but Cynthia motioned for him to wipe it off, he turned around with a fake smile firmly planted on his face.

"Brian! Hey stud." John Reid greeted him from behind putting on his sexiest smile, he was determined to have Brian tonight and nothing will stop him from getting what he wanted, not even a cute blond twink.

"John, what a pleasant surprise." Brian said and if you listened closely you could hear the sarcasm dripping from his voice. John latched onto Brian, invading his personal space and getting on Brian's nerves. Brian stepped back a little and tried really hard to keep the smile on his face.

"Brian, when are we going to hook up? I have plans for you…" he purred in Brian's ear and Brian cringed at that. Before he could say anything, John's hand was knocked off and he found himself with an armful of blond twink. Justin looked at John from his spot in Brian's arms and smiled innocently at him.

"Hi Mr. Reid" he then turned his head up to look at Brian before saying, "Mr. Anderson was asking for you," he then gave him a suggestive look that John understood clearly what it meant. When he looked to where John was standing all he saw was his retreating back as he headed for the exit.

"You're evil." Brian told him when he stepped back a little looking around to make sure no one saw them, but he didn't notice Cynthia who witnessed the whole thing, she chuckled a little and shook her head in wonder at the blond's audacity. Finally they had the balls to be together; she felt happy for her boss and friend.

"I'm sweet," Justin said in his most bratty voice and swatted Brian's arm gently.

"Having fun?" Brian asked as they walked together. Justin led Brian to his favorite painting in the show. He stood there looking in awe at the painting while Brian looked in awe at him. Justin turned to look at Brian then blushed when he saw Brian looking at him.

"What do you think?"

"Beautiful," Brian said making it clear that he was not talking about the painting with his eyes traveling all over Justin's face. Justin giggled a little not used to Brian being so romantic.

"The painting?" Brian looked at the painting, taking in the colors and the shapes.

"I like it." Justin beamed at him.

"It's my favorite, the others are brilliant but I felt a connection with this one," Brian nodded at him. Cynthia motioned for him to come from across the room.

"I have to go," Justin nodded in acknowledgment. Brian went to talk to Cynthia and Andrew magically appeared next to him.

"Man...That was epic!" Justin was startled by his sudden appearance but then laughed when what he said registered. "Remind me not to piss you off." Justin shook his head in amusement looking in Brian's direction.

"I better go and console him then." Justin looked at his friend knowing he was serious about what he said. "He's hot!" Andrew added as a way of explanation and shrugged.

"Fine, but if you and he hooked up and became serious, you're not my friend. Got it?"

"Thank you!" he said and quickly made his way to where he saw John headed. Justin shook his head, just imagining what they would be like as a couple gave him a headache.

:::::

Justin was standing with a group of co-workers laughing and making jokes when someone bumped into him from behind, he turned around to see an average looking guy, he was mildly attractive although the chin hair was kind of annoying.

"Sorry I wasn't looking."

"It's nothing, no need to apologize." he turned to go back to his friends.

"Do I know you?" the guy asked, Justin sighed inwardly; what a lame pick up line!

"No I don't think so."

"I'm Ethan Gold by the way." he extended his hand to shake and Justin reluctantly accepted the hand shake.

"Justin Taylor."

The guy started talking to him like they were best friends; asking what he liked of the show and giving his opinions like he was an art critic, after the fifth time the guy made a wrong comment on one of the pieces Justin had had enough so he interrupted him

"Excuse me but do you know anything about art?" the guy, Ethan, got a smug look on his face before replying.

"Why of course! After all I graduated from PIFA." Justin's eyebrows shot up at hearing this.

"What was your major?"

"Music, I play the violin." Justin sighed, relieved that the institute reputation will not be harmed by idiots like him. "I'm going to play tonight, I hope you stay and watch me; I guarantee you will be mightily impressed."

'_Cocky__little__fucker__'_ was all Justin could think of as he excused himself to go to the restroom.

:::::

Justin splashed water on his face; he dried his face then stared into the mirror, looking directly in the eyes of the person behind him.

Justin turned around and walked slowly to Brian; he stopped a mere inch away from him and looked up waiting to see who would make the first move. They didn't know who initiated the first kiss; all of a sudden there was a crash of lips over lips demanding access and tongues dueling for control. Brian pinned him against a wall and continued his assault on his lips.

"Stall... NOW" Justin gasped out, his breath short and rapid. Brian nodded and moved them to the closest one. It was fast and exciting; like the first time you go on a roller-coaster, it's moving fast and you love it. Your blood is rushing through your veins and you could hear your heart beats echoing in your chest.

Justin looked at Brian's face seeing the look of pure pleasure written all over his face as he moved inside of him; it had nearly undone Justin. When they were about to climax Brian kissed him sucking all of Justin's moans into his mouth.

After finishing Brian pulled away from him and disposed of the condom. Justin turned around to face Brian and Brian kissed him.

"Ready to go back?" Brian asked and Justin shook his head 'No'; making Brian laugh.

"I thought you liked the art show."

"I did, but after seeing all the pieces and meeting all the artists it became boring, especially with all these pretentious people who don't know shit about art and giving their false opinions" he made air quotations, "at what they believe is the meaning behind it." He rolled his eyes showing his frustration and making Brian laugh again.

:::::

They got out of the stall and fixed their clothes and hair and then made their way back, with Brian promising that it was almost over.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary: Brian and Justin' night out, part 2.**

**Beta: JustBeAQueen.**

**All I Want Is For You To Want Me**

**Chapter 20**

**Brian's POV**

"Justin...hi, I know you don't want to talk to me right now and I don't blame you. Please pick up... I need to talk to you. Give me a chance... please," I hung up the phone after leaving the hundredth message pleading for him to call me; fully knowing that he won't, but it makes me feel a little better than sitting alone wishing for troubles to disappear and for him to come back.

He'll come back, right?

So what if I kept stuff from him, what if I deliberately hid the truth and wished that he never remembers. That's not so bad, is it?

You know sometimes I imagine my life if I hadn't met him, would it be simpler? Uncomplicated? Would I be content if I had gone with my life not knowing how it feels to love someone? If I hadn't met him I wouldn't be sitting in my loft feeling so crushed and alone, I would be at Babylon hanging out with the guys, not a care in the world, but then I remember that I wouldn't have had the chance to see his smile or how his eyes sparkle when he is truly happy, I wouldn't have seen... a tear slides down my cheek and I wipe it immediately disgusted with myself. The last time I cried was five years ago, and the fact that I cried should have been my first clue on how I really felt about him, because... when I was younger I promised myself not to cry for anyone; never to show my weakness to anyone, and made it one of my life rules but he managed to break it like all the others.

So I sit in the dark sipping whisky and remembering what happened the past week.

::::

When we got back from the restroom there was some guy playing the violin, personally I hated it but for some reason Justin loved it. He moved closer to the show and motioned for me to follow him. I complied reluctantly and stood beside him looking at his face as he smiled gently listening to the music.

I saw Cynthia motioning for me to join her so I said a quiet later and left to see what she wanted. I was talking to some breeder who I swear is a closet case if the way he had been eyeing me was any indication when I saw them. Justin and that fiddler were talking, Justin was smiling and that fucker was leaning closer to him, that feeling of dread and dare I say jealousy clawing inside I didn't expect, but it was there and I couldn't help it as I moved closer to the pair. Justin didn't see me but the fiddler did and he moved closer to Justin, to my great relief Justin stepped back away from him. I could hear their conversation from where I was standing and my frown deepened

"You were great," I heard Justin say.

"That wasn't surprising since I'm genius." I heard the fucker reply... pathetic.

Justin laughed nervously and I saw him scrunch up his nose, he always does that when he is annoyed; I feel the tight hold on my heart loosen a little and I smirked at the fucker who was glancing at me. I approached them and pulled Justin to me, he tensed a little but then relaxed when he looked up and saw that it was me.

"Hey."

"Hey." I raised my eyebrow and looked pointedly at the fiddler and asked, "who do we have here?"

"This is Ethan Gold, the violinist who performed earlier." He smiled at Ethan politely and I rolled my eyes.

I ignored Ian's 'Hi' and asked Justin if he was ready to go and he nodded eagerly.

"Meet me in the parking lot in five minutes." I told him, I needed to get out of here; I needed to touch him, claim him as mine. Now that I think about it, something was a little off in the way he looked at me after I said those words.

I went to inform Cynthia that I was leaving, oddly enough she didn't protest about my leaving; she even encouraged me to go saying that she and Theodore are more than capable at handling our client for what's left of the evening. I don't know what was wrong with me that night, was the need to fuck Justin so great that I completely missed the way she smiled at me or how she had that knowing look on her face? I found out later that she knew about me and Justin. The thing is I didn't mind her or anyone else knowing about us, but Justin didn't want anyone from the office to know. When I asked him why he just looked at me with a serious expression on his face before he explained that he didn't want our relationship to be another clichéd romance between boss and employee; it would cheapen it and he couldn't accept that.

I arrived at the parking lot and scanned the area in search of Justin but he wasn't there yet, so I leaned against the Jeep and lit a cigarette. After a minute there was a sound of footsteps and I looked up to see him walking in my direction, I stubbed out my cigarette and looked at him. As he walked closer and closer his face expression changed; he looked at me with wide eyes and stopped a short distance away from me, not looking at me but looking through me as if he was seeing something in the distance, I looked around but there was nothing.

"Justin?"

I moved closer to him but he moved away from me, I tried to touch him but he shied away from my touch like it burned him. I gave up and stood there unable to do anything. There was a rainbow of emotions on his face. Shock... Sadness... wonderment... and fear.

Suddenly his eyes snapped shut, his face was flushed, and his body rigid. I waited for him to make a movement and after a minute he looked up at me; his eyes moist. He whispered my name so quietly I almost didn't hear it and then he was falling.

I moved fast and caught him before he hit the floor. My heart was pounding, fear gripping my chest... I didn't know what happened to him; all I could think of was that I couldn't lose him again; images from the prom played in my head as I moved him to the car. I laid him in the backseat and ran to the driver seat. I kept replaying the scene in the parking lot in my head, trying to figure out what happened there. There was an idea trying to force itself to my fogged up fear filled brain but I didn't want to believe it was true so I stayed in denial while I drove to the hospital. I carried him to the emergency room and I waited for a doctor with some news on his condition.

I don't know why I called Daphne that night or how I remembered her phone number was saved in my phone because Justin put it there the third time I tried to reach him while he was at her place and he wouldn't pick up his phone for one reason or another. She picked up after the third ring her voice heavy with sleep.

"Brian?"

"Hey... Listen..." I couldn't complete the sentence because my voice hitched and I had to stop myself from crying.

"What's wrong? Did something happen to Justin?" she sounded panicked, "where are you?" I could hear her talking to someone else. I finally got enough hold on myself to tell her the direction to the hospital we were in and hung up.

Fifteen minutes later she arrived looking a mess, some guy who now I know was her boyfriend walking behind her trying to catch up with her as she quickly made her way to where I was. She stopped in front of me, breathing hard, a terrified expression on her face.

I didn't wait for her to ask, I told her everything that happened as she sat next to me staring at the ground. When I finished the retelling she looked me directly in the eyes and said something I never expected to hear

"I know who you are to Justin," I gave her a confused look and she added, "his first, the one he was seeing senior year... the love of his life."

"How? When?" I asked her not really caring about the answer.

"I found out this morning...can you believe it? Here I was packing my old stuff from my parents house when I found one of Justin's old sketch books and there you were on the last page," she shook her head and I don't know why but I started laughing, deep body wrenching laughs. I tried to control myself but I kept going... now? She finds out now? I thought I was losing my mind. Her next question sobered me up quickly though.

"Why didn't you tell him?" I thought about her question for a while. I knew the answer to that but when I said it in my head it sounded lame. I tried to come up with a good reason but I gave up not caring what she thought of me I said.

"Because I am a coward, because I didn't want him to blame me for what happened, because I felt that I was responsible for what happened. And I was afraid that he'd reject me," she was surprised that I answered. She didn't say anything; we just sat there in silence, her boyfriend awkwardly standing a short distance away; giving us some privacy.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, guess who showed up?

I looked at Daphne and she shrugged apologetically and said, "oh yeah... I called her."


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary: Brian remembers…**

**Beta: JustBeAQueen.**

**All I Want Is For You To Want Me**

**Chapter 21**

I get up to refresh my drink and then go back to the leather chaise. So where were we? Ah...yes! Oh god when the sound of your own thoughts hurt that means you drank too much, right? I'm going to have a massive hangover in the morning...

:::::

I turned to look at her as she made her way to where Daphne was sitting beside me. She stopped in front of Daphne and looked down at her, a terrified expression on her face.

"What's wrong with him?" she asked her.

"We don't know yet," Daphne shrugged and looked at me. Mrs. Taylor turned and looked at me too. I didn't know why but there was recognition in her eyes as she fixed her stare at me. I felt uncomfortable under her stare but didn't move or leave. I stayed where I was, meeting her stare and not backing down. Then she averted her eyes looking anywhere but my direction, guess she was trying to ignore me.

I got up and asked Daphne if she wanted coffee, she nodded and I made my way to the hospital cafeteria, I felt someone following me, I turned around to see Mrs. Taylor walking towards me, she had a dark expression on her face that I couldn't read. She stopped in front me and stated in a calm voice.

"I know who you are." I understood completely what she meant, but I didn't show it; I just looked at her with a blank face. She narrowed her eyes at me and then elaborated further, "You're the one he was seeing before the accident," I nodded my head not really caring about her reaction or the consequences of my admission.

"You have some nerve; showing up again and ruining his life. Why did you have to come back? What do you think his reaction would be if he remembers who you are? Don't you think he's going to feel a little betrayed knowing you have abandoned him all those years just to show up five years later and lie to him?"

"I never left him and I never caused him harm in any way, if you think that by telling me this I'm going to leave you're mistaken. I stayed away all those years because I thought it was best for him but now I can't and I won't leave. And speaking about lying, how did you know about me? I assume since Justin didn't have a clue who I was that you lied to him, the question is how did YOU know?" I saw a hesitation in her eyes before she said in what she meant as an outraged voice.

"He was obsessed with you! All he drew were pictures of you, sketch book after another, all filled with you. Do you know how I felt knowing that my sweet innocent child had been seduced by a man? And after the prom I had to protect him from you and from himself even if it meant destroying all his sketches and hiding the truth."

"What a load of bullshit! You did all of this so you could save your perfect suburban life style. You knew that if Justin came out it would ruin everything. So you destroyed any trace of his homosexuality and hoped what happened would prevent him from persuing what he is, so Craig wouldn't have to know that his only son is a fag. But you didn't count on Justin being the strong fucker that he is and standing up for himself." At her stunned expression, I snorted and said sarcastically, "yeah, we actually had a conversation or two." I turned around without giving her a chance to reply. I couldn't take the lies she was spouting and the fact she tried to guilt me into leaving made me lose any kind of respect I might have had for her.

I returned to the waiting room with four cups of coffee and gave everyone one, even Mrs. Taylor who said a quiet thank you, not meeting my eyes.

We had been waiting for an hour when we saw a doctor walking towards us. We were the only ones in the waiting room so we figured he was coming to see us. Anxious that we all were, we decided to meet him half way.

"Are you the family of Justin Taylor?" We all nodded and he resumed, "he woke up a short time ago and we conducted several tests to determine why he lost consciousness," he paused a little then continued, "I understand that Mr. Taylor had suffered a head injury five years ago that caused him some memory loss." I closed my eyes fully expecting what his next words were going to be, "he seemed to have remembered bits and pieces of the accident and he is going to have a hard time in the next few days and weeks dealing with all these returning memories and trying to make sense of them, not to mention if he starts remembering more, it could possibly cause more bouts of this." I heard his mother gasp and Daphne asked the doctor if we could see him.

"I'm afraid Mr. Taylor has asked for only one person." I braced myself to hear my name and thought of what I was going to say when the dear doctor said, "Daphne Chanders?" Daphne nodded and moved to follow the doctor, I saw pity in her eyes when she looked at me and I felt numb. He asked for her? Not me?

I waited for her return, Mrs. Taylor sat opposite me and looked like someone had slapped her, and I guess she was hurt too. 10 minutes had passed when Daphne returned. She made her way to where we were, she had a pained expression as she said.

"Justin is fine, he fell asleep just now. He really needs to rest so you can go now and return tomorrow," Mrs. Taylor tried to protest but I guess she realized she couldn't do anything about it. I didn't wait for them; I left in a hurry like the demons were chasing after me. My heart crumbling with every step I took away from him.

I didn't see him after that night, it's like he disappeared.

I returned to the hospital Sunday morning to find that he had checked out an hour earlier. I went to his apartment and found it empty. I called Daphne and she didn't answer. I tried to find her address but failed. I spent the rest of the day sitting in the loft moping around like some loser waiting for his call, but the call never came.

Monday, I made it early to work hoping he would be there. He wasn't. Instead I found some intern sitting at his desk answering the phone. When I asked what she was doing there she answered that Justin called human resources and asked for someone to fill in for him for the week. I was a bitch that day and the days that followed. I avoided phone calls from the gang and didn't go to the diner. I didn't answer the door and they eventually left me alone.

Tuesday I went to his apartment, hoping that I would find him there. It was empty, I walked around the apartment, and I somehow felt closer to him standing there surrounded by all his stuff. I slept in his bed that night, his smell filling my senses. I woke up in the middle of the night reaching out for him, but he wasn't there. I sighed in disappointment and felt a single tear slide down my cheek. I fell back into his bed, inhaling his scent and remembered the last time we were together in his bed. The loft felt empty without him and that night I felt completely alone in the world.

Wednesday, Cynthia came to my office and asked in concern what was wrong with me and if it had something to do with Justin not coming to work, I asked her ever so nicely to get the fuck out of my office, she complied but not before leaving me with advice of her own.

"Brian, I know about you two and I want you to know that in all the years that I have known you, I never saw you truly happy except in the last few weeks so don't ruin it, go after him and fix it." I snorted in amusement and flipped her off, she muttered 'asshole' and left.

Thursday, I cornered his friend Andrew in the hall and asked him where Justin was, he actually looked terrified, good... I'm his boss; he should be scared. He didn't know anything. I returned home that night and proceeded to get shit faced and passed out.

And here I am, on a Friday night; sitting alone and getting drunk. I get up to refill my drink. I sip from my drink while standing by the window looking at the skyline. I hear the loft door open and I know who is there; the only one who has a key to the loft and a key to my heart.

"Hey." he says in a quiet voice. I turn around to face him.

"Hey."


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary: Justin's week from hell…**

**Beta: JustBeAQueen.**

**All I Want Is For You To Want Me**

**Chapter 22**

**Justin's POV**

I replay his last message for the fourth time. His voice soothes me as I sit in the darkness of Daphne's living room, the only light coming from the TV. She is out with her boyfriend after I begged her to leave me alone and go have some fun. I think about what happened in the last week. I know I have to do something, I know I have talk to him but I can't. He knows all of those things I'm still remembering and I feel guilty for forgetting. I fear that I'll say something that has something to do with our past or not be able to remember. I fear I'll see disappointment in his eyes, or worse, sadness or even pity.

I don't want him to feel obligated to put up with me; so I wait till the headaches get better and I'm not this weak mess that he feels he has to take care of. I want him to be there because he wants to not, because he feels guilty about what happened.

I keep thinking about that night when everything changed; I remembered the bashing that night, and everything I thought I knew shifted on its axis to present me new realities and new experiences. I realize now that Brian had slipped several times when we were together, all the confusion I was having, all the questions of how he knew about things I never told him about, when I was the one who couldn't remember.

I listen to the hitch in his voice and I feel my heart tighten, I feel the sadness in his voice and knowing I was the cause of it brings tears to my eyes. I think about the past week and how it changed everything.

::::::

When Brian told me to meet him in the parking lot, something inside of me clicked. I don't know how to describe it. An image kept flashing through my mind; a room full of teenagers dancing to some cheesy song. I recognized their faces and right away I knew what I was seeing. The prom.

I saw Brian heading to the exit and I followed him. I felt the beginning of a headache and I leaned on a wall in the hallway leading to the parking lot. I breathed deeply trying to calm my racing heart.

When I saw Brian leaning against the jeep which was odd now that I think about it; since we came in a limo, another memory swept through my mind. I saw a younger version of Brian standing against the car waiting for me, me walking to him and us kissing, I felt the kiss on my lips and I saw the look on his face when we parted. Then I was walking and suddenly I hear Brian shouting my name and I turn in time to see the hate in Chris's eyes before the swinging bat connects with my skull.

Everything came rushing back at me. All those memories that were buried in my brain resurfaced and I felt the world spinning around as the pain engulfed my head and then everything turned to black. The next time I opened my eyes, I was surrounded with people in white coats with light flashing in my eyes and throbbing pain in the back of my head.

I knew I was in the hospital. I hate hospitals and not because of the bashing, I just can't stand the place because it is filled with so much misery in every corner. There was a doctor talking to me and I couldn't register what he was saying and I kept nodding my head so he would finish and leave me alone but he kept asking me a question after another and I answered him with simple words, finally he asked who I wanted to see since I could have one visitor only for ten or fifteen minutes. I wasn't prepared for all the drama my mother would have caused, and I really couldn't face Brian at the time, so Daphne seemed to be the perfect choice.

When she came into the room she looked disheveled. She asked about what happened and how I felt and told me that the doctor had filled them in on what happened. I knew she was holding back and that she wanted to say something but she didn't, instead she held my hand and told me words of comfort as another memory flashed through my mind. I saw her in her prom dress twirling around as I sat looking at her from my position on her bed, she looked so beautiful and I felt happy for remembering something I thought I had lost forever.

I looked up at her and smiled before I said, "you looked beautiful in that dress." she looked confused then I saw her face soften in understanding and she kissed my cheek. When she pulled away from me, I saw the moisture in her eyes and I shook my head at her but she quickly protested that it was tears of happiness.

I sensed she knew something about me and Brian from the way she asked me if I wanted to see him, I think she expected my answer and later I knew why.

I didn't sleep that night, flashes of memories kept popping through my head. Me at school, me at my parents house drawing, and the most frequent of them all, me being fucked by Brian, me sitting at the loft waiting for Brian to finish his work, Brian and I sitting on the floor eating. I loved those memories; it gave me something to think about. Some insight to what we had back then.

Sunday morning I checked out early, Daphne was there helping me with everything I needed. I asked her if I could stay with her for a couple of days and she agreed without any argument. My mother kept calling me, saying that she wanted to make sure I was okay but I couldn't talk to her. I remember some of the lies she fed me after the bashing, how she tried to erase any trace of my homosexuality. She made up all those lies about how perfect our life was before the bashing when I know now that it was a far cry from perfect. I remember asking her about my sketch books thinking that they will help me in remembering the month I lost since I always used to make a journal of my day in sketches. She denied I had anymore sketches and told me that I hadn't been inspired lately hence the lack of sketch books.

Brian's messages were what kept me sane as I dealt with the new memories, whenever I felt like shit, listening to his voice made me feel better. I knew I had to talk to him eventually.

I called the office on Monday morning to inform them that I was taking a week off; I knew it was the coward's way out but at the time I didn't care. I spent my days either in bed or in front of the TV.

My mother came by on Tuesday and I refused to see her. Daphne talked to her and lied; explaining that I was out. After she left I got dressed and told Daphne I was going for a walk. I found myself in front of Brian's building half an hour later. I looked up at the loft windows. I only saw black, and felt a bitter taste in my mouth thinking that Brian was out, maybe he had gone to Babylon, maybe he was with a guy in that exact moment. Every thought of self doubt went through my head and I started walking away from the loft, running to find a safe place away from my doubts, away from the images that flashed in my head, images of Brian with other people, kissing them, touching them in the same way he touched me.

I arrived at my apartment that I had abandoned. I missed my things, missed the organized clutter that seemed to be my design theme. I felt the presence of another as I entered my apartment. I smelled his scent in the air, and I knew he was there. I moved through the apartment till I found him. He was sleeping in my bed, his face buried in my pillow. I walked closer to the bed. I touched his hair, and felt the softness of the silky strands between my fingers. I heard him moan and I jumped away from the bed. I stared at him as he slept peacefully, I couldn't believe how quick I was to think ill of him. Here he was sleeping in my bed while I thought he was out tricking.

I lay beside him on the bed, keeping a safe distance between us so I wouldn't wake him up. He gravitated towards me, his arms circling my chest, I heard him breathe a sigh of relief before he whispered my name. I froze for a moment thinking he had woken up but as I heard him snore softly beside me I relaxed in his embrace. I felt a tear trickle down my cheek as I realized how much pain I had put him through and how much he really loved me. I didn't know how much time passed when I woke up still in his arms; I had fallen asleep without realizing it. I felt him stir beside me and I extracted myself from his arms moving quickly so I wouldn't get caught. I realize now how foolish that was, if I had stayed everything would have been fixed and I would be with him right now.

The rest of the week passed in a blur, I dreamed of him every night and woken up wishing he was there with me.

Here I am now; sitting alone on a Friday night. I can't continue my life this way, how did I become so pathetic?

What am I afraid of?

Nothing.

I answer myself and get up to get dressed.

:::::

I look up at the windows of the loft and only see darkness. I make my way inside using my key, I don't care if he wasn't there; I'm going to wait until he gets back. I want everything to be right again. There are so many things I need to discuss with him, so many things I need an answer to.

I pull the loft door open and I'm surprised to see him, he's standing by the window, his back to me and in the dim light I could see the muscles in his back tense when he hears my voice, he turns around to look at me with this unreadable expression on his face but his eyes give him away, I see a relief in them that I welcome.

"Hey," he replies and I move closer to where he's standing. He watches my every move.

I stand in front of him and look directly in his eyes as I begin to speak.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary: the dreaded confrontation.**

**Beta: JustBeAQueen.**

**All I Want Is For You To Want Me**

**Chapter 23**

**[Just a reminder that everything in italics is a flashback. ]**

_Brian sat in the cab thinking of what is going to happen after everything is done. He thought about his visit to the doctor's office..._

_He sat across the desk from Brian and adjusted his glasses as he looked at him thoughtfully. He scratched his beard before saying:_

"_From what you told me over the phone I understand that Mr. Taylor is showing signs of remembering. If you are serious about helping him remember everything there are two ways to go about it. The first one is to slowly feed him bits and pieces of information about your past together, use phrases that meant something special for the two of you, but as you said five years had passed already so this method probably will not have the desired effect. The second method is to recreate an essential scene of your history that will unlock those memories. Something that had a direct connection to his memory loss that will jog his brain so it picks up the similarities with the past scene. I don't promise you quick results or if it will work in the first try since the reaction to this method varies from one person to another, but it has proven to be very effective in similar situations. What will be your choice?" _

_Brian stared at the doctor thinking of how his next words will determine his and Justin's future together._

"_The second one," he answered and the doctor nodded. They discussed every little detail, and the doctor explained how there should be an element of surprise._

_Justin should not have an idea or a certain expectation of what he is going to see._

_The words you will use should be as accurate as possible to the original scene._

_You should act normally, so nothing in your behavior would alarm him to think that something is wrong._

_Let him figure it out on his own, do not feed him information and do not try to change any of your routine for his sake or it would put more pressure on him especially when he starts remembering._

:::::

**Brian's POV.**

I see him walking in my direction and I know what is about to come. It's judgment day ladies and gentlemen and the fact that the only emotion I feel is relief is surprising me. All I can think of as he stands in front of me is how much I missed him and how much I want to kiss him and I have to fight the silly grin that threatened to appear... I must be drunker than I thought.

"Brian..." he stops and stares at me then he shakes his head and continues, "in the past week, a lot of what I considered to be a solid unmoving truth shattered and I discovered the lies behind it. I'm now trying to figure out what's real and what was a complete lie. I need you tell me the truth Brian."

I knew that it was going to happen eventually. I have to explain myself; I have to put in words what I had done and what I had gone through in this journey of longing and sacrificing and wanting so much to feel his love for me.

I turn around, and try to turn away, but he grabs my arm, holding onto it.

"Brian... Don't walk away from me, don't run... I need you."

"You don't need me, you don't need anyone..." he interrupts me before I continue with my speech that I had memorized years ago. There is rage in his voice that I welcome, that is an emotion I can deal with, I know how to respond to it, but I can't deal with soft spoken words and a plead.

"I need to know that you haven't abandoned me like my father, I need to know that you haven't deceived me like my mother, and I need to know that you didn't feel guilty for what had happened like my best friend. I need you to tell me all of this Brian. I want the truth Brian, all of it, from you."

I turn around and see his face contorted in anger as he steps away from me, letting go of my arm and I feel the loss of the contact, the skin where he touched me still buzzes with electricity. What he just said made me realize how useless everything I had done will remain if the one person who needs to know about them doesn't. I know what I have to say now.

"I never abandoned you; I never left you or forgot about you. You stayed with me from the moment I last saw you on the hospital bed before they discharged you the following day till this very moment. I always knew how you were and what was going on with your life. You want the truth I'll give it to you then: I was the one behind your scholarship; I arranged it and I even paid for it from my own pocket. I attended every art show you participated in, I even bought your first painting that I keep in the storage because it always reminded me of you and I couldn't deal with the emotions it brought." I see his eyes get wider and wider as I reveal myself to him. I move across the loft to the bar. If I'm doing this then I need more alcohol in my system. I down a shot then turn to face him; he's still by the window; the light from the streetlight lights up his face. The golden color of his hair shimmers under the light and I have the strong urge to run my fingers through the silky strands.

"Brian?" he asks when my silence stretches. I walk to the living area and turn on a lamp so the whole area is bathed in a golden light. He moves closer to me but keeps a distance between us.

"How did I end up as your assistant?" I see him fight with himself to keep his distance from me and I restrain myself from reaching out to touch him.

"Well, it wasn't that hard to send one of our execs to a function that was held in the institute with a specific description of whom I wanted him to choose for the available positions in the company. You were given a card with the instruction to make an appointment for a job interview after you graduated. Two months later you were starting your new job as my assistant."

"But why as your assistant? Why not in the art department? Or..." he trailed off looking bewildered by this new-found knowledge. I guess he has a good reason to feel that way.

I needed some kind of a relationship with him; something formal but in the same time friendly.

"I needed to be close to you."

I see the anger and confusion drain from his face as he makes his way to where I'm standing. Nothing could have prepared me for the way he looks at me; eyes shining and his lips curving into the faintest of smiles.

"I never deceived you," I whisper and he nods his head biting his lip.

"I felt a lot of things, anger, murderous rage towards the fucker who hurt you, but never felt guilty for what happened. Never." He nods again.

"Then why didn't you tell me? Did you think I needed to be protected from the truth? I'm not some weak faggot ..."

"No, you're not weak; you're one of the strongest people I know." I see that my answer didn't satisfy him so I tell him the real reason.

"I wasn't trying to protect you, don't you get it? I was trying to protect myself; I knew if I told you then everything would change between us. I was being selfish; I wanted our past to disappear and for us to have a fresh start." I see him struggle with my confession, trying to act the way he thinks I want him to act but then he shakes his head.

All of those hopes I had went out of the window when I realized that someday he would remember and I would be helpless to do anything to stop it. I decided to take control of the situation and help bring back his memories.

He's so close to me right now, I can smell his scent. I want to move away from him, from these emotions coursing through me. Then I feel him wrap his arms around me and rest his head on my chest, and I can't help but wrap my arms around him; I hear muffled words as he buries his face in my chest.

"What?" I ask him quietly, it takes him a minute to answer; he looks up at me with his big blue eyes, he opens his mouth and I know I'm not going to like whatever comes out.

"I'm sorry," he says in a small voice, he bites his lower lip and a single tear slides down his cheek and fuck me if I don't feel an ache that spreads through me at those words.

"Sorry for what?"

"For all I had put you through," he answers as another tear slides down his cheek. He blinks his eyes and I cup his cheek so he's looking up at me, I shake my head at him and wipe a tear with my thumb.

"There is nothing to be sorry about, whatever happened wasn't anyone's fault but the fucker who did this to you," his eyes search my face looking for a hidden meaning behind my words, but as I look him in the eye laying myself bare for him for the first time he doesn't find anything but the truth.

I look into his eyes and see vulnerability I never saw before. He blushes a little. I lower my face and kiss his tears away, I hear him shudder out a sigh and he relaxes against me. He closes his eyes and I kiss his eyelids, his forehead and then kiss a path to his lips. I nibble on his lower lip then lick it. He doesn't respond to my ministration at first; he just stands there, giving me full reign on his body. I move my tongue between his lips, wanting to feel his response, needing to feel him respond. He opens his lips and sucks my tongue in, moaning in pleasure as our tongues meet and move against each other, and as we share the same breath, lips moving in time together, I know for sure that whatever this thing between us is, it is far from over.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary: the morning after and what follows. Are they strong enough to put the past behind them?**

**Beta: JustBeAQueen.**

**All I Want Is For You To Want Me**

**Chapter 24**

**Justin's POV**

I wake up to him breathing into my neck and I sigh in contentment as I feel his hand lying on my bare stomach. I missed this so much, missed the contact and the feeling of him near me, touching me and claiming me as his with the little gestures he does; like right now his arms circling my chest, he's hugging me from behind and his scent is filling my senses. Makes me feel complete; I found the part that I was missing. With him here by my side I'm complete.

Last night was everything I wanted to happen and more, I didn't expect him to be this open and the fact that he was honest in telling me what he had gone through means more to me than everything he had done for me in the past years.

After our kiss ended I felt exhaustion from the lack of sleep in the past week, I looked at his face; seeing how tired he was and the black marks under his eyes. I took his hand in mine and led him to the bedroom, I undressed him and he undressed me. I laid him down on the bed and he pulled me into his arms. We laid there with him spooning me from behind and me clutching his arms in mine. I breathed a long calming breath as I felt him relax against me and the sound of him snoring lightly lulled me into sleep.

Here I am now, awake and lying in his arms where I belong. I feel him stir against me and I turn in his arms to face him, he blinks at me a couple of times, he seems disoriented for a moment then I see the realization dawn on him, his lips curve slightly into a sweet smile, and his grip tightens around me.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"How long have you been awake?"

"I just woke up," I say and feel his hands roam my body, travelling up my chest, circling my nipples and sliding down to stroke my thigh. I feel his erection against me and it gives me shivers as I remember the feel of his hardness inside me. I lean further into his embrace.

"Brian?"

"Yeah?" he says as he licks down my nick, then he kisses along my jaw but I stop him; there is something I need to say, something that's been bothering me since last Saturday and I didn't have the chance to think about it until now.

"How do you know Richard Smith?"

:::::

Brian's POV

The last thing I expected to hear was this question and I think of the answer carefully as I search his face. I don't find any accusation or betrayal in his eyes just a curiosity. So I bite the bullet and tell him carefully.

"Is this one of those times where you already know something and you are waiting for me to come clean?" I say in a teasing voice to cover up for my nervousness. He shakes his head and waits for my answer while I think of what I should say.

"I met him a couple of years ago; I did the advertising campaign for his show in New York. Last Saturday we met again and he asked me to do the advertising for his new gallery. He said he was looking for someone to help him in running the gallery and I suggested for him to talk to you. I didn't tell him to hire you. He was impressed by your insight to his painting."

"Okay," what? Did he just say okay? Could it be that easy?

"What?" he laughs lightly and cups my cheek so I'm looking into his eyes when he responds.

"Brian, I believe you. Mr. Smith is a business man just like you and he wouldn't have given me a chance if he saw that I didn't deserve it. I just wanted you to tell me this; I don't want any more secrets between us. I want you to always trust that I'm able to handle the truth and that I'll always stand by your side," I nod at him and kiss him lightly on the lips but he pulls away from me and says in a determined voice

"I want you to say it."

"Say what?"

"Brian..." he says in a gentle whisper that shatters all my attempts to avoid this; avoid giving him a piece of myself

"I'll never hide anything from you even if I thought it's for your own good." he smiles at me and kisses me before saying in a teasing voice.

"There you go, it wasn't that bad."

We stay in bed just kissing and getting familiar with the others body.

:::::

We are heading for the diner now; I keep stealing glances at him. He's being extra quiet and I don't like it. Finally we arrive and head inside. I take his hand and lead him to a booth in the back, I motion for him to sit first and I follow him; sitting beside him. He gives me a confused look and goes to say something but before anything comes out a shrill voice assaults our senses. Debbie.

"Hey asshole! Where have you been? Michael's been worried sick about you."

"Busy."

"Busy with what? You haven't been to Babylon in more than a week, I asked Ted and he said that there wasn't any big campaign to keep you busy," she says, snapping her gum loudly and I cringe at the situation, me having to explain myself to her isn't on my list of things to do.

"Deb, breakfast please. We haven't got all day."

She grumbles something, takes our orders and leaves. Justin kept quiet during our exchange and I turn to see him looking back at me with this strange look on his face and I just know what he is about to say.

"Don't say you're sorry or else."

"Or else what?"

"I don't know! But I assure you I'll do something," he chuckles and punches my arm lightly.

"Okay I won't say it, but how do you know what I'm about to say?"

"You had that look on your face."

"What look?"

"You know, when your eyes get big and you bite your lower lip and look up at me guiltily." I knew he would feel guilty for supposedly being the reason I cut myself off my friends and I don't want it to become a problem in our relationship, he didn't willingly choose to go through what he did; and he didn't cause me to go through what I did. So no guilt is necessary, at least on his part.

"But Brian..."

"No buts, oh god did I just say that," he giggles and then nods at me with sympathetic eyes.

::::

"We should go see Gus," Justin suggests on our way back.

I nod and turn in the direction of the munchers house. I missed Gus in the past week, I know I should visit him more often; I have no excuses for not visiting. It's just that I feel like an outsider every time I'm around them. They are the perfect family and me on the outside threatening to destroy their unity by just being there or at least that's what I think Melanie feels, so I try not to interrupt their daily lives with my presence.

"Brian? BRIAN!" I snap out of my musings and look at him questioningly.

"Where did you go?"

"To a dark scary place," he laughs and tells me that we should take Gus to the park near the loft and I agree.

We arrive at the house and make our way to the door. Its 12:30 so they are definitely awake but it takes them awhile to answer the door in which I take full advantage of by groping Justin through his jeans and devouring his lips.

"Jesus!" I hear Melanie say and I make it a point to continue kissing him until Justin steps away from me and motions for me to behave. I turn around and give her a smirk but all I get is a glare.

"What are you doing here?"

"What? No hello, I'm hurt," I say and Justin hits me lightly on the chest and tells me to behave again.

Lindsay comes in next.

"Brian, where have you been? Gus has been asking about you," she kisses my cheek and says hi to Justin. You know what I hate? It's the why she said it; like I should feel guilty for this.

We go inside and they offer us coffee. Justin tries to make small talk but the awkwardness of the situation kills any attempt of it. I hear sonny boy running down the stairs and go to meet him half way. He jumps into my arms and I kiss his cheek. Justin joins us and Gus leaps from my arms to his.

"Hey Jussy!" Justin seems startled by my son's enthusiasm.

"Hey sunny boy, How about you spend the day with us? Would you like that?"

"Yes!" Gus answers and hugs me from his spot in Justin's arms and I swear I can feel the heat of Melanie's glare all the way from across the room. But with Gus in my arms, and hanging on to Justin, I don't fucking care.

Lindsey packs up the stuff Gus will need throughout the day and hands them to me with the strict instruction to return him at 7 pm exactly. We make our way to the car with Gus running ahead of us.

"I want ice-cream," he shouts from his spot in the back seat. Justin turns around and they start talking about everything and nothing and I have a smile on my face as I listen to the two of them.

We arrive at the park and Gus heads for the swings and we sit on a bench nearby watching him.

"You should call Mr. Smith soon."

"You know; if I got the job you'd have to find another assistant."

"That did cross my mind."

"You'll have to search for someone as skilful as me, someone that takes care of all your needs," he says licking his lips and I feel my dick twitch at the gesture.

"I think I'll handle it. Call him before it's too late, I'm serious," he nods in understanding and I kiss him just because I feel like it. I see a woman giving us disapproving looks and I raise my eyebrow at her challengingly; she turns around leaving in a huff.

The rest of the day passes in a blur, we of course get ice-cream and Gus manages to make a mess of himself. Lunch is Gus's choice so of course we have hot-dogs and then return to the loft where he and Justin sit and colour together. Let's just say Gus has no future in art if the colouring book is any indication of his skill. I do some work or pretend to as I'm distracted half the time with the sight of my son and my partner. I feel something warm inside of me every time I witness how well they get along.

Under the demand of the both of them I cave in and order Pizza for Dinner. We sit on the sofa, a Disney movie playing on the TV as we eat our dinner. Gus falls asleep before the movie finishes and I carry him to the car, Justin follows us with Gus's things. We arrive at the munchers house at 7:15.

Lindsay greets us with a disapproving shake of the head at our tardiness.

:::::

We make it back to the loft in comfortable silence and when the loft door slides shut I attack his lips. I wanted to do this all day. I walk us to the bedroom. I yank his shirt off and stare at his cherry red lips before I devour them again. I get rid of his pants and he does the same for me. We lie on the bed; me on top of him. I move my hands all over his body; needing to touch him and claim him as mine, again. I feel him tremble in my arms and move away every time I move to open him up.

"What's wrong?" I ask him and he just looks at me. I stare at him and finally see him. The shy eighteen year old virgin I met years ago is looking back at me not my confident twenty two year old partner. I don't know what caused this to happen and I think of a way to fix the situation at hand.

I move to lie on my back and open my arms in invitation.

"Mister Taylor, I'm at your mercy, do as you please with me," I purr at him and he moves closer to me. Touching me lightly at first then his touch becomes bolder. I surrender my body for him to explore. Nothing is out of reach; I'm all open for him to take what he wants and when he enters me that night I see stars, white flashes of light infused with hot purple and blue and I see my future.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary: One more secret is revealed.**

**Beta: JustBeAQueen.**

**All I Want Is For You To Want Me**

**Chapter 25**

"How can I help you sir?"

"I need someone to help me with this problem I have."

"May I ask what type of problem do you have?" Justin said biting his lower lip to keep from smiling.

"I'm experiencing a certain crave for a blond. Know of any that would be suitable to accommodate me?"

"There might be someone; are there any other specifications you would like the person to have?"

"Blue eyes, killer smile and an amazing ass."

"Got it, anything else sir?"

"Ah... yes I forgot, he has to be obedient. I don't want a smartass, and please make sure he is trained to handle any situation." Brian said barely keeping the act.

"Asshole" Justin said under his breath but Brian caught it.

"What was that?"

"Nothing... unfortunately sir we don't have anyone available at this time but I would be more than happy to accommodate all your needs." Justin said in his most seductive voice; Brian cleared his throat and said in a serious voice.

"Could you give me a sample of your skill, tell me what you plan on doing." Justin blushed and looked around making sure that the door was closed; he relaxed in his chair and spread his legs before saying in a sultry voice.

"First I'll have you spread on the bed completely naked, your hands will be tied to the bedpost so you're under my control, then I'm going to have a taste of your skin, lick you all over till you're begging for release. I travel down your body till I reach your cock, I lick along the shaft and then take the head between my lips and swirl my tongue around the head and then I moan around your dick as I sallow it whole."

Brian moved his hand to cup his erection.

"I take it all in and when you climax I drink all your cum, I lick your cock clean and then move up your body." Brian slipped a hand inside his pants and took hold of his cock, pumping it lightly and moaning at the sensation.

"Can you feel my body pressed against you, rubbing your stiff dick with mine, my tongue licking your lips and teasing them until they open up for me. Can you taste yourself on my tongue?"

Brian moaned as his thump touched the head of his cock then he started moving his hand faster along the shaft.

"I'll open up myself for you, first entering a finger then two, moaning as you kiss me." Justin was rubbing his clothed cock now, so turned on by his own words. "I can't take it any longer, I prepare you to take me, I straddle your waist and look you in the eyes as I ease myself down on your cock, feel how tight I am around you?" They both lost themselves in the sensation, only hearing the moans of the other.

Justin moved his hand to free his cock; he slid his hand down his chest and rested it on top of his pants and fingered the top button.

"Justin, Mr. Smith wants you in his office right now." Linda said as she entered the office without even knocking. Justin was startled out of the sexual haze he was in by that and he moved quickly to hide his erection behind the desk. His face flushed with embarrassment and frustration as he felt his cock grow even harder at the sound of Brian's moans signalling his orgasm.

"Did I interrupt something?" Linda asked innocently.

"No, nothing at all." Justin said calmly and then coughed to cover up for the moans coming from the phone. "Is there anything else you want?" he asked impatient.

"No. Tell Brian I said hi." she turned and left. Justin glared at her retreating back.

"Linda came in again?"

"Yes." Justin said and sighed in frustration.

"You know, you really have to learn to lock your door, it's like the third time this happened."

"Fourth. I swear she's spying on my phone or something and you're the one who always calls sounding all sexy and I forget to lock the door." Justin said dejectedly and looked down at his lap; he glared at the obvious bulge in his pants and tried to will it away. "I'm still hard," he muttered almost whining and Brian laughed out loud at this.

"We could go at it again." Brian supplied helpfully.

"I can't; I have to go see Richard."

"Okay, then try thinking of something that will completely turn you off, like lesbians." Brian made shuddering sounds and Justin followed his advice.

"That did it." Justin said and sighed. They stayed silent for a moment; so comfortable with the connection they have, they didn't feel the need to talk. Finally Brian broke the silence

"When do you get off?"

"Obviously not now."

"Stop pouting."

"I'm not!" Justin said in indignation.

"Just answer the question."

"Why? Are you planning on picking me up? How sweet!" Justin cooed and Brian rolled his eyes heavenward, sighing dramatically.

"Stop being a smartass and answer the damn question."

"I finish at 4 so I'll stop by Kinnetik. Do you want me to bring you anything? "

"Yes, I want the obedient houseboy I called for in the first place." Brian said in a serious voice.

"Fucker," Justin replied and hung up the phone smiling.

::::

"What the fuck is that thing?"

They were standing outside Kinnetik. Brian was staring at the weird car Justin announced as his. Justin stood nervously glancing between Brian and his new car. He almost started biting his nails. He liked the car; he specifically loved its color. The car color was a bold blue and the car was big enough so his paintings would fit in.

"My new car." Justin answered and glared at him. Brian tried not to notice the hurt he saw in Justin's baby blues.

"I suppose it has a certain charm, how did you find it anyway?" and Brian tried not to cringe as he looked back at the car.

"A friend from work told me about it, do you believe the owner didn't want it anymore?"

"Can't imagine why..." Brian said under his breath and Justin pretended not to hear him as he continued to talk about the car.

"...and he gave me a great deal for it."

"Wait, you actually paid for this?" Brian said feigning disbelief; Justin glared at him and moved closer to his car. Brian followed him, grabbed his arm and spun him around. He walked him backwards till his back hit the car.

"I was kidding," was Brian's form of apology and Justin just shook his head.

"Apology accepted." Brian gave him a meaningful look and kissed him but pulled away before they went deeper.

"Wanna go make out in my car?"

"Wanna blow me?"

"How about both?"

:::::

"Forgot to tell you. I have to meet a couple friends from school. Wanna come with me? "

Brian looked at the text message one more time before turning his head in the direction of the kitchen. Justin was leaning against the counter holding his phone; he looked up and smiled at Brian.

"Not how I thought I would spend my evening but I'm willing to go if you give me an offer I can't refuse"

Justin looked up from the message to see Brian's smirking face. He licked his lips and typed his answer.

"And what would that offer be?"

"I'm in need of a house boy/sex slave for the weekend. If you accept the position I will be more than happy to accompany you to this lovely event"

Brian looked up, tongue in cheek, to see Justin glaring at him.

"One evening. It's an invitation for a drink not for a wedding."

"You drive a hard bargain Mr Taylor but I accept. By the way, Why are you texting me when you're 20 feet away?"

"Because they stare at us like some kind of aliens every time we talk or do anything"

"That's because we're hot. Why don't you come over here?"

"I'm helping Debbie and Emmett"

"You're not much of a help; you're just standing in the way"

As he sent the message, Brian heard Debbie say, "Justin, why don't you join the gang, we will follow with the dessert."

Brian looked up from his cell phone chuckling to see everyone staring at him; Justin had a point after all. Justin entered the living room and looked for a place to sit. Brian raised his left eyebrow and motioned for him to come closer. Justin made his way to where Brian was sitting and when he was standing directly in front of him; Brian took hold of the sleeve of his sweater and tugged on it motioning for Justin to sit on his lap. Justin turned to face the gang from his place perched on Brian's lap, and his left arm wrapped around Brian's neck. He found everyone staring at them in wonder and he looked back at Brian mouthing, _'I told you so'._

The gang stared at them still not able to believe that Brian would willingly behave that way; like they are a real couple, even though it's been three months.

Debbie coming in with the dessert broke the awkward silence they fell into and soon everyone was talking and joking as they always did, but every now and then Michael would take a jab at Justin. The last straw was when Lindsay was thanking Justin for watching Gus the other day and going on and on about how well they get along and how great he is with kids.

"Not surprising since it wasn't that long ago that he was one." Michael snorted in amusement and looked around to see that no one actually found it amusing.

Brian felt Justin tense against him, and looked at his best friend seeing him look smug after saying that. It made his blood boil and when Justin didn't say anything probably for Brian's sake, like all the other times, he made a decision. He motioned for Justin to slide off his lap and he got up.

"Michael, a word?"

:::::

Brian stood in the backyard smoking a cigarette as he contemplated what he was going to say to his old friend.

Michael stood behind Brian and stared in trepidation at his best friend's back, the look Brian gave him was nothing like he had ever seen.

"You can't keep doing this Michael."

"Doing what?" Brian turned and looked at his friend showing him how serious he was.

"You can't keep talking shit about Justin, ridicule him in front of everybody and even behind his back and expect him or even me to just take it. If he is mature enough not to respond that doesn't mean you can say what you want. He's my partner and you have to start treating him with the respect he deserves. What did he ever do to you? Had he ever offended you in any way?"

Michael kept silent thinking of an answer that would not make him sound like an immature brat.

"He changed you. You changed the loft locks and you didn't give me a key. You're busy most of the time and you have no time to hang out. You are rarely seen in Babylon or even Woody's. You're like a completely different person from the friend I knew."

"Just because I changed the way I chose to live my life doesn't mean I changed, and you're one to talk! Every time you're with someone you erase who you are and become an extension of them." Brian took a deep breath to calm his nerves, he knew he hurt Michael with what he said but it needed to be done.

"He's not going anywhere Michael; he is it for me, so you need to learn how to get along with him, don't make me choose," and with that he left his friend to think of what had been said.

::::

They were driving to the bar to meet Justin's friends. They rode in silence most of the way only speaking when Brian asked for direction. Justin decided to give Brian the space he needed to think; he knew whatever had happened between Brian and Michael wasn't a pleasant experience.

"What's this place again?"

"It's a restaurant/bar we used to hang out when we were in PIFA." Justin moved his hand to touch Brian's arm, he then started moving it up and down in a comforting manner. Brian sighed and felt the tension drain from his muscles.

For the rest of the way Justin talked about his time in the institute; the friends he made, the professors he remembered hating or the ones he liked. He even told him stories about the place they were going to; like how every Friday night they used to go there and one of their friends would blow the bartender and in exchange the bartender would give them a beer without checking their ID's .

::::

They entered the bar and Justin searched for his friends. They were sitting in their usual table in the back. They saw him and waved for him, he waved back then tugged on Brian's sleeve so he would follow him.

"This is Kyle." a petite brunet with blue eyes waved at him and Brian nodded in response, "and this is Richard," they said hello and sat down. Justin asked about how they been and what they did in Paris.

"So you're working for Richard Smith now." Richard asked trying to sound cool and failing miserably.

"Uh oh..." Kyle said and looked at Justin with huge eyes.

"Oh shut up, I'm just trying to have a conversation." Richard groused out glaring at his boyfriend who was giving him a knowing look.

"Did I miss something?" Brian asked and then took a sip from his beer.

"Richard is a huge fan of Mr. Smith and this is his not so subtle way to hint for a meeting." Justin answered.

"Not a huge fan, just..." but he was interrupted by Kyle.

"Oh please, one time you said you were related just because you both have the same first name and don't get me started on your interpretations for his paintings."

"I was drunk..." he said in his defence and Kyle rolled his eyes at him.

Brian looked at Justin asking if what he heard was true and Justin nodded his head in confirmation.

:::::

"He's hot!" Richard exclaimed when Brian was out of ear shot. Justin nodded and smiled at him.

"Have we met him before?" Kyle asked Richard, and his boyfriend shrugged. Justin felt his cell-phone vibrating in his pocket, and he answered it.

"In the bathroom, now"

Read the message he received from Brian. He thought that Brian wanted to have a quickie in the restroom.

"I have to go relieve myself" he said and moved quickly in the direction of the bathroom.

"Why don't we join them?" Richard asked cheekily.

"He's our friend!" Kyle exclaimed.

"I meant in a separate stall!" Richard replied, "You have a dirty mind my dear."

:::::

Brian looked in the mirror and saw his reflection looking back at him; he noted the changes in his face although they were barely noticeable. He knew what he had to do, he would just come clean and tell Justin and everything would be fine, it wasn't that big of a deal anyway, but he always felt uncomfortable in these situations.

He actually remembered where he had seen Justin's friends before, that night three years ago. It was the first time he saw Justin after the accident. He sat two tables away from him and just looked at him; he saw the changes, saw the maturity and something else; a souvenir from the accident that you wouldn't notice unless you knew Justin before, when his smile was free not guarded.

When that guy started talking to Justin his alarms binged with warning and when he saw Justin fighting him off; his mind had no rational thought except to get that bastard away from Justin. Later when Justin was passed out and he carried him out, his hands buzzed from where they touched him. He laid him in the cab and there was this moment where everything stilled, he and Justin were all alone. He took in his beautiful face, moved closer and lightly kissed his lips; they tasted of cheap beer and something else, something so uniquely Justin that stayed with him long after he saw the cab driving away.

:::::

"Brian?" Justin asked completely thrown off by what he saw in Brian's reflection. Brian turned around to face him and he waited for him to say something.

"Remember the time when you got drunk in Woody's and some guy hit on you?"

"Huh?" Justin looked in confusion at him and he elaborated further.

"He was rough and you tried to fight him off, you're friends were also drunk and watching..."

"How did you...?" Justin's confusion increased, did someone tell him that? Did Daphne tell him about that? But that didn't make any sense...

"And then some guy shoved him off and you passed out, he carried you out of Woody's and put you in a cab..." he didn't tell Daphne those details which lead him to the conclusion.

"You were there?"

"I was that guy." Brian waited for Justin's reaction, staring at his face that was an open book to his heart. Justin tried to process what Brian said, Brian saved him that night too? It was so unbelievable; like something out of a movie. He walked slowly to where Brian was standing. He looked up at his face and smiled.

"You saved me that night."

"Well, not exactly saved..." but he was cut off with Justin pressing their lips together. When they parted from the kiss Justin giggled a little and said.

"My hero," then he made swooning sounds.

"Smartass..." Brian muttered and pulled him in for another kiss.


	26. Chapter 26

**Beta: JustBeAQueen**

**A/N: A big thank you to the readers who followed this story and a huge thank you to my betas britinmanor and JustBeAQueen.**

**All I Want Is For You To Want Me**

**Chapter 26**

Brian woke up today to the weird feeling that he had forgotten something important. He shook his head and detangled himself from Justin's arms. He walked slowly to the bathroom looking everywhere to see if there was something strange in his surroundings. His eyes traveled all over the loft trying to find something out of place or some clue as to what he had forgotten. It wasn't till after he was sitting in his office going over the day's schedule with his new assistant Betty that it hit him. He stared at the calendar on his monitor and couldn't believe that he had forgotten.

He sat in his office and waited for something to happen. He didn't know what it was he was waiting for, maybe for Justin to come bursting through his office door a complete wreck? He paced his office feeling restless and unable to concentrate on anything, but after a while he forced himself to sit down and do some work. Luckily nothing important was scheduled for the day. He managed to make it until 4 o'clock, by then he had had enough. He packed up his stuff and made his exit quickly without sparing his assistant a second glance. He didn't go home though; he drove around town for a while.

By the time he made it to the loft it was 5:30. He opened the loft door and scanned the loft looking for his partner. He found him standing in the bedroom; freshly showered and half dressed.

:::::

Brian's POV

I wrap my arms around him and feel his damp skin under my finger tips; I bury my face in his neck inhaling the sweet mixture of his shampoo and his unique scent. I trail my fingertips all over his chest feeling Goosebumps rise under them. I draw invisible paths on his skin, feeling the buzz from where our skin meets. I turn him around to face me and see a smile playing on his lips. I raise my eyebrow at his attempt to play cool and collected. His expression remains unchanged. I pull him flush against me and attack his lips. And just like that all the worrying disappeared and the only thing that exists is the feeling of his tongue dueling with mine. I feel warmth spread through my clothes and travel all over my skin, seeping through the pours into every cell in my body.

::::

Through a silent agreement we didn't discuss it. I kept a close eye on him throughout the evening. I noticed imperceptible changes to his behavior; his voice was a tad higher than usual and his eyes lost some of their spark, the curve of his lips when he smiles was tense and he moved around with collected steps as if he didn't want to cross some hidden line.

We had an enjoyable time in the bedroom and when we resurfaced again it was for food. We ordered from the deli down the street. We kept a light conversation during dinner; he talked about the upcoming shows in the gallery and I bitched about my new assistant; it always made him laugh when I compared her to him and he always replies:

"Don't forget my great ass and my uncanny ability at handling you," he always manages to make these words seem dirtier than they really were and I respond by spanking said ass and kissing the smirk off his face.

::::

We were watching some old movie, he was using me and I quote, _"my body pillow,"_ he always giggles when he says it, sending a teasing look as if I would be offended by what he said. I sigh exasperated and ignore him but he giggles nonetheless and threads our fingers together. We settle into this position with the sound of the T.V filling the loft and the humming of the refrigerator in the distance. Halfway through the movie he started talking, I knew what he was going to say and I waited patiently for him to get the words out, I learned that Justin can't be pushed into doing or saying something, you have to let him get to the place where he is comfortable enough to say what he has to say, I didn't have to wait for long though.

"I remembered on my way home, the radio was on and there was this show about the history events that happened today and it just hit me right there. I thought I was going to have a panic attack. I pulled off the road and stayed in my car waiting for the panic attack but it never came," he had a soft smile playing on his lips when he said it, he looked relieved. I tightened my arms around him and he looked up watching my expression. He kissed me lightly on the lips and then turned his head so he was looking into space as he continued:

"I used to know a week earlier; I would feel it crawling under my skin; alerting me that it is that time of year again. I would distance myself from my surroundings; functioning on autopilot of going to school and then back home and keeping minimal interaction with people. Daphne got used to it and left me alone in that time to deal with it and now that I think about it I didn't hear from her all week. But now it's different, I no longer feel helpless because a part of my life is missing and I have to live through life knowing this and being scared of the unknown." He looked up at me; his eyes moistened with unshed tears, "I'm free."

He kept silent after that, but I knew he had something else to say, he would open his mouth as if to say something but then he would shake his head and close his mouth. After the fifth time it happened I couldn't stay silent any longer and I asked:

"Is there something else you want to say?"

"More like scream," he said and chuckled nervously. An idea crossed my mind at his statement and I patted his thigh as I ordered him to get dressed. He looked quizzically at me but complied without any protest.

:::::

"Scream," I told him as I moved my arms in a sweeping manner indicating the vast space around us. He looked at me as if I had gone insane. I raised my eyebrows at him. He stared at me and I stared back showing him how serious I was.

I drove to a place out of the city I used to come to when I needed alone time from everything and everyone in my life. It's an open space as far as the eye can see and I always used to pace its distance thinking. When Justin mentioned screaming I immediately thought of this place. It's not that far from the city but its surroundings always feel so isolated from the modern world; no artificial light in sight, the entire sky is open and clear, our path only illuminated by the moon and stars.

Justin took a deep breath; he then turned around to face the open space that lay ahead of us.

"I remember everything," he said hesitantly and looked back at me still unsure about this.

"FUCK YOU CHRIS HOBBS," that came louder and with a different range of emotions; rage.

"YOU DIDN'T BREAK ME, I'M STILL HERE," his voice stronger now, his fists are clenched and his chest rising and falling with labored breaths puffing out of his mouth.

"I GOT MY LIFE BACK! I GOT BRIAN BACK! I'M FREE! I'M LOVED! I'M IN LOVE! I'M NOT SCARED ANYMORE!" I touch his back and feel him shaking but I don't do anything, I don't move to help him, I don't try to calm him, I just stand there offering nothing but my support. He turns around and waits for me to make the first move and I do. I hug him and whisper into his ear words of praise and pride.

::::

"Let's celebrate," he says out of the blue. We are driving back now. I look at him surprised by his statement.

"Celebrate what?" I ask. He laughs and answers with excitement evident in his voice.

"Life, Love, Us, Everything. Pick one!" he says. All those worry lines are gone now.

And we do.

We dance all night among the throngs of people at Babylon. Eyes closed and a smile on his face as he moves against me. I move my fingers through his hair finding the scar from where he was bashed; I caress it with my finger, the only physical reminder of what we had gone through in this long journey. The meaning it holds is no longer a painful reminder of that night so long ago but of our history together and of the obstacles we had gone through to get to where we are now.

:::::

Here I am sitting in bed, watching him sleep when I'm supposed to do other things like sleep or work. It never occurred to me how intimate this act is, the complete vulnerability the person exhibits when he is asleep. Maybe it's why I had never let anyone stay the night before him.

You know the first moment when you wake up disoriented; your face a canvas of emotion? It's the moment I love the most. I love to watch his expression that changes so quickly from being lost to the pure happiness his face radiates when he sees me looking back at him; makes me feel like I'm doing something right in my life.

Sometimes I wake up thinking that all of this is a dream. He'll disappear any minute now and I'll return to live my life without him, but then twinkling blue eyes filled with mischief and laughter gaze up at me and all my doubts and fears vanish away with the rest of the world.

The End.


End file.
